Writing Assignment from Patresa

If Talent Had No Limit and Money Grew Like Weeds

Patresa, in her quest to achieve perfect spelling without a dictionary, wrote about what would happen if her talent had no limit and she had an infinite amount of scratch to eek out a living. Although, come to think of it, eek is probably quite the understatement.

Of course, at the end of her dream sequence, she put forth the challenge to her readers to come up with their own scenarios.

Mine goes something like this…

    As the night sky starts to lighten, Jorge wakes up. The sun hasn’t started its visble ascent yet, but the sky’s subtle change alerts him that the blazing daybringer will be arriving relatively soon. He climbs off of the bed, careful not to disturb his sleeping wife, and tiptoes over to the large bay window overlooking Rock Lake.

    He gazes across the clear sky and smiles at the prospect of another clear day. He quietly changes into some clothes with which to explore the forest, and slips out of the large cottage.

    The cottage is a wonder of technology, paid for by his successful photography and music. It cost a king’s ransom to outfit it with the comforts of the city, only because the technology could not be disruptive to the surrounding environment.

    Jorge spends the morning photographing the sunrise with his analog SLR camera. Though he has several digital cameras at his disposal, he likes to use the one that Mrs. J gave him as an engagement gift. Some habits die hard. Some never die.

    By the time he returns, his friend has arrived by boat bearing fish.

    ” I just happened to be out, ” said his friend, Brad.

    ” You just want to use the bullet, don’t you? ” Jorge chuckled.

    ” Well, maybe, ” Brad hopped out of the boat and moored it, ” My old lady is in T-Dot today. I figured I’d suprise her. “

    ” Fine by me. I was thinking of scooting over to Dave’s if you two would like to come with. “

    ” Doggie, ” Brad grinned ear to ear.

    After a breakfast of eggs, bacon and fish (Mrs. J opted for toast instead of fish), the trio headed to Huntsville to the train station. Jorge parked the electric car at a recharge space, and the three of them headed over to the platform.

    The waiting area was packed with people waiting to get on the new mag-lev train to Toronto. Everyone was in good spirits and began boarding the train at the blow of the whistle.

    Jorge, Mrs. J and Brad didn’t board that train.

    Instead, they approached an elevator that opened as Jorge approached, and took an elevator down to the experimental “Bullet” train.

    After Jorge started making a name for himself, his friends, too, started to become recognized. It was a happy coindcidence that they al achieved fame at the same time, as it gave their next move a lot of power.

    They joined forces with some startup environmentally conscious transportation companies, as well as some startup telcos and clothing lines. By working together, and using the universal catalyst known as money, they managed to create some wonderful inventions that cost very little to maintain.

    At first, people thought that several artists banding together for a cause would not really create an impact. However, rather than appearing at media circuses, and lobbying the government, they took it upon themselves to approach it from a business point of view (with a scientific twist). Utilizing people that were not being recognized for their talent, they managed to create a global movement for change that literally took the world by storm.

    The “Bullet”, while called “experimental” was actually already proven. It was a train that utilized magnetic peristalsis to propel the train car down a tunnel. it allowed for a much smoother acceleration, and higher speeds, with no detriment to stability.

    Within an hour they arrived in Toronto, and Brad called his gal and told her to meet us at Dave’s.

    They promptly caught public transit to Dave’s Pub (run by his uncle Gerry).

    Dave met Jorge at the door and greeted him with a hug.

    ” Long time no see, manus, ” Dave smiled.

    ” No kidding, ” Jorge replied.

    ” MY SPOON IS TOO BIG, ” Dave laughed.

    Jorge joined in. Mrs. J just shook her head.

    On the far wall, a vidscreen sprung to life. Ian appeared.

    ” Hey guys, ” he shouted. There seemed to be a party at his pub in Tallinn.

    ” Hey Ian, ” they all replied.

    ” How’s life over there? ” Ian was obviously being jostled by the happy crowd at his place.

    ” Great, ” Jorge said, ” The Bullet Line to Estonia from England should be done within two months. Soon we can hang out again. “

    ” Sweet, ” Ian grinned.

    ” Imagine what will happen when we finish the teleporter? ” Dave winked.

I could go on forever with a story like that. Nothing would be dearer to my heart than to help make the world a better place. I’m sure that the tech in my story is a pipe dream (nice pun), but it’s nice to have a vision of something good, right?

Hai-Kuul – July 13, 2005

My Heart Beats Faster (Requested by princess_castle)
Into view she walks
Elation pours into me
My face becomes hot

Saddle Yourself (Requested by princess_castle)
Those mistakes at work
Will cause you great pain because
You’ll be ridden hard

I Am All For it (Requested by princess_castle)
Introduction of
Topless beaches and a new
Type of money tree

Get a Grip People (Requested by princess_castle)
Riding bicycles
Can be quite painful unless
You protect your hands

Equally Unfounded and Mean-Spirited (Requested by princess_castle)
These well-balanced folks
Are a rarity to find
Thank the stars for that

Ever-Widening Gap (Requested by princess_castle)
I noticed this fact
When a tasty strawberry
Fell out through my teeth

Pea Soup Smog (Requested by Christine Anderson)
It’s so hard to breathe
Slowly pollution chokes me
With thick, smoky hands

Must Win (Requested by Courtney8292)
To win the contest
It is not the quantity
It’s the frequency

Ate Too Much At a Buffet…Gonna Be Sick (Requested by Courtney8292)
I stuffed myself full
And then I kept on stuffing
It can’t be contained

Paper Clips (Requested by Courtney8292)
Metal or plastic
Holding paper together
Or my Word helper

Open Bar (Requested by kittygirlshellie)
This can be a risk
If relatives drink too much
Or drink too little

The Buffet Line (Requested by kittygirlshellie)
Plan your attack here
Food collection is an art
As fun as eating

Sing Along While Drinking (Requested by kittygirlshellie)
Alcohol kills
Most people’s ability
To carry a tune

Neil Diamond Rocks (Requested by kittygirlshellie)
A master of songs
Neil Diamond Rocks the known world
With beautiful noise

I Just Broke My Shoe (Requested by kittygirlshellie)
I stare down sadly
It’s tongue hangs out as it dies
Does it have a soul?

Yankees Suck (Requested by kittygirlshellie)
Fundamental truth
Is an interesting thing
Need I say more here?

Wayne Gretzky is Awesome (Requested by kittygirlshellie)
Ultimate sportsman
Grace, great style and good conduct
A true role model

Pull My Finger (Requested by kittygirlshellie)
Chemical warfare
In it’s most basic of forms
Watch out for the smell

*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

The World Brought Me Here

The World is My Oyster

I was walking home from Karate last night, and I was looking for a store that sold cans of soda that weren’t Coke or Pepsi. A confused looking older lady was milling about in front of a used appliance store.

As I approached, she looked up with a look of hope, and I knew that I was going to have to engage in a conversation with her, most likely about something awkward…

OLDER LADY: Um. Hello there.
JORGE: Hi. Is something wrong?
OL: Well, I was wondering if you knew anything about air conditioners.
JORGE: Not really, sorry. [I was actually telling the truth. Other than BTU-to-Square Footage, I don’t really know all that much about them. I do know that I love the one in my office, that I turn on in the evenings to take the edge off the heat in our office and bedroom.]
OL: [Ignores Jorge’s truth.] Great! Well, you see, there is an air conditioner in there that I was interested in buying, but I was worried about Freon, you see.
JORGE: [Acknowledging that there is no way out.] Freon?
OL: Yes. I think the older Freon is bad. At least that’s what they say.
JORGE: Erm. Okay.
OL: But I was wondering if you knew anything about this new Freon.
JORGE: New Freon?
OL: Yes. The lady inside said that the air conditioner had a new type of Freon in it.
JORGE: How old is this air conditioner?
OL: about ten to fifteen years old.
JORGE: And she said that there’s a new type of Freon in there?
OL: Yes.
JORGE: Well, I know that the old Freon was banned from cars, due to the belief that CFCs were contributing to ozone depletion.
OL: What?
JORGE: Um, the old Freon was bad, but I don’t think that the new stuff is called Freon. It is a refrigerant. Again, I really don’t know.
OL: Do you think I should buy it? It’s a good price.
JORGE: I don’t know. How big is your space that you want cooled?
OL: Two hundred and fifty square feet.
JORGE: How many BTUs is the model you want?
OL: Six Thousand.
JORGE: I think that should be just enough.
OL: But I’m worried about the Freon.
JORGE: There are some great sites to look up this type of information on the internet if you’re worried about sales people telling you lies.
OL: I don’t have the internet. I’m retired.
JORGE: I see.
OL: I’m worried about my health. I don’t know what the Freon will do to me.
JORGE: Probably nothing. Unless you plan on drinking it, I think you won’t be feeling the effects that your air conditioner will cause.
OL: So Freon is bad?
JORGE: Again, I don’t think you’d have to worry. I think that your health will be fine. I really don’t know.
OL: Sorry to bug you. I just wanted to make sure that whatever I bought would not cause problems with my health.
JORGE: Sorry I couldn’t be more help.
OL: Oh, that’s ok.
JORGE: Take care.
OL: You too. [She walks away, pulling a cigarette carton out of her purse. She lights up, and walks off.]

What a pointless conversation. Nothing like worrying about catching cold when you have a knife to your lungs. Sheesh.

What Brought You Here?

Here are some of the latest searches that people have used to get to my site…

From: http://www.google.com.au
Ranked #1
“Now take your pig-stick and your boyfriend, and find a bus to catch.”

From: http://www.google.es
Ranked #2
“space de gente skin”

From: http://search.msn.com
Ranked #1
“BoA site:spaces.msn.com”

From: http://search.msn.com
Ranked #1
“drea site:spaces.msn.com”

The first one is too funny. The fact that someone typed the entire Van Damme quote is hilarious. The second one makes no sense to me.

ADDENDUM (Aug 02, 2005): I’ve received several hits for Air Conditioning BTU-to-Square-Footage searches. Here is a site that will help you out: Click Here