Don’t Go Breaking My Chart

The Set Up

Sometimes, I think that our generation is the worst one; this is even in comparison with the spoiled kids that are running around today. I believe that our parents were the last generation (as a whole) that really worked hard. Don’t misunderstand me: there are folks from our crew that put in their time; but I think that a good number of us were spoiled by our own parents, resulting in a flippant attitude towards things like jobs and parenting.
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Generation WTF

Hell-o-ween

Wow. I guess that header might be a tad strong; though, on pondering further, perhaps it is just right.

This year’s Halloween was interesting. As usual, I completely misjudged how much candy we were going to need, making my mad scramble to the local retailer somewhat unnecessary (if you’re in the vicinity, drop by my desk and you can have a bucketful of candy).

I have no idea what the deal is, given how many kids are at the local school, but the numbers were just not there this year. Small groups of kids would come and go, but nowhere near the same amount as years previous. There was also a conspicuous lack of teenagers with crappy costumes this year. I guess that’s sort of a blessing; but to be honest, I could have used their pillowcases as a way to get rid of the metric ton of sugar that remains (that will eventually find its way onto my frame as gobs of fat).
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Armed and Dangerous

Ink This Wisdom

Little J has a very creative brain and a unique perspective that I can relate to. We were walking around today, enjoying the weather when we ran into a friend who has a dog. Little J said hi to both friend and canine, and as we continued she told me this…

Little J: Daddy, I think having more than one pet is too many pets.
Me: Really?
Little J: Yeah. It’s too much work. But, if you wanted to have more than one pet, you can take a magic pill that turns you into an octopus. Then you would have enough arms to take care of them.

That’s my kiddo.

Heartbreaking

Today My Daughter Broke My Heart…

Little J acted out because she’s desperately trying to walk the tightrope of acceptance. It’s obvious that she acted in a way that she probably thought would earn her some cred with the “alpha” kids. While not explicitly saying it that way, she did explain her behaviour to me and that is how I understood it.

It reminds me of my own childhood: fighting the fight within where you either stay true to yourself or sell out and feel that elusive sense of belonging.

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The Funnier Way

Excuse Me, Sir. Your Daughter Just Said…

My daughter had a sleepover at Nana’s recently. It’s a great arrangement because Nana doesn’t live too far from where I work, so it’s just a matter of her dropping off little J to my office. Win-win, really; Nana gets to spend time with the wee one and I get a traveling partner for my commute.

On the subway, every station is announced several times beforehand (something to do with being sued when people miss their stops or something). More often than not, the on-board speakers are on the fritz and it’s hard to determine what they are saying. Here is a list of “translations” courtesy of my daughter.

TTC: The next stop is Christie. Christie Station.
Little J: Daddy! We’re going to Rice Krispies Station!

TTC: The next stop is Bathurst. Bathurst Station.
Little J: Daddy, are they really thirsty? They are bad thirsty? Is that what that means?

[This one is the most embarrassing one; only because it was declared very, very loudly.]

TTC: The next stop is Spadina. Spadina Station.
Little J: Daddy! That voice on the speaker just said ‘vagina’ two times!


Where’s Bill Cosby when you need him?


Juicer

Tight Squeeze

Having children is like having access to a gold mine full of awesomeness. Not only do they come up with some hilarious dialogue, but they inspire us to explore our own inner child; that is, they help us remove the grown-up filter that usually remains intact in most day-to-day situations.

What’s even better is when you have friends with children that you can share your stories with; from these conversations, awesomeness is born…

Jorge: Little J made strawberry juice by squeezing Strawberry Shortcake. “Aaahhh! Fresh!”. I am sleeping with one eye open.
Krk: Take it out on Count Chocula for chocolate milk!
J: Hahahahah! I don’t even want to know how they make Bawls soda.


Job Descriptions

Obvious

I was in the car with Mrs. J and Little J last week when the following dialog took place…

Little J: Daddy, when it’s summer again next year I want to go to Centre Island to ride on the bumblebees.
Jorge: Yeah?
Little J: Yeah. And you can take pictures with your camera because you are the picture guy.
Jorge: I’m the picture guy, eh?
Little J: Yeah. You’re a picture-making machine.
Jorge: [Laughs.]
Little J: You are a picture-making machine just like I am a googie-making machine.
Jorge: [Laughs louder.]

We have all had bad colds recently, so she’s somewhat accurate about the googies.