More Stupider Feature

People Are Becoming More Stupider

I was on the subway today listening to some kid bragging about his typing speed. He mentioned that he had the bestest technique, which allowed him to type more faster.

Honestly, do I really need to elaborate on this?

This Might As Well Be a Weekly Feature

Dave and I (and a number of others) are going camping next weekend. In his attempt to be a good guy (which he will always be, regardless of what he does), he offered to buy me a propane tank so that he might use my camp stove for cooking (we tend to do food preparation with a partner, and as sexy as Dave is, Mrs. J wins the hottie competition hands down, and so Dave is partnered with another stoveless person).

Note the exchange…

J: Hey Mano. You don’t need to worry about the tank.
D: Really?
J: Seriously. First of all, my stove burns white gas, so you showing up with a propane tank would help no one.
D: Err…That might pose a problem.
J: Secondly, we already have three canisters.
D: What do those cost? How much do they charge to fill them?
J: Napthalene comes in big drums. It’s pretty cheap, and it lasts forever. We only used a tank and a half at most last year.
D: Oh.
J: I appreciate the offer, but it’s not needed, and the cost is so small as to be relatively insignificant.
D: Well I have to do something.
J: Nah.
D: Really, is there anything I can do in trade?
J: Ummmmm….
D: Not that.

To be honest, I wasn’t even trying to be funny, but I was laughing like an idiot after Dave‘s line.

Dave and I have so many funny conversations that this should become a regular feature. Of course, by doing that, I would feel as if it were an obligation, and it would stress me out. So forget that nonsense. For one thing, I don’t really need another feature spiraling out of control. Secondly, while we find these conversations funny, we are not so egotistical as to believe that everyone would like them. That damned 10% holdout pisses us off.

Hai-Kuul – July 20, 2005

Oh…My…God!!! (Requested by princess_castle)
I must crane my neck
To be able to see him
Godzilla is here!

What a Beauty! (Requested byprincess_castle)
She’s got some sweet curves
She’s the hottest model here
My Lambourghini

There U Go… (Requested by princess_castle)
You’re always leaving
It seems to be what you do
But why? I don’t know

Green and Gorgeous! (Requested by princess_castle)
Bruce Banner’s cousin
Had a blood transfusion and
Became the She-Hulk

Hmm…At Last! (Requested by princess_castle)
It took a few years
But she finally published
The sixth Potter book

Blonde Babes (Requested by princess_castle)
A phenomenon
Based solely on hair colour
Brunettes rock too, eh?

Look At Me (Requested by princess_castle)
I’m talking to you
Pay attention! What I say
Might be important

Boots ‘n Jackets (Requested by princess_castle)
These are in storage
Waiting until the winter
To shield me from cold

Cute Looking Silly Guys…Argh! (Requested by princess_castle)
Why are you surprised?
Whether good looking or not
All guys are silly

Aloo Parathas…Oh Yeah!!! (Requested by princess_castle)
Spiced mashed potatoes
Stuffed between two chapati
An Indian treat

Full-Blood Princess…Muhahahahahahahaaa!!!! (Requested by princess_castle)
The insane laughter
Verifies the royalty
Royals are strange folk

I Know U Love Me! (Requested by princess_castle)
Your outer gruffness
Is not effective enough
To hide your feelings

Ended Up Bruising My Knee… (Requested by princess_castle)
It’s always a risk
To partake in tree climbing
It’s just a small scratch

Hair Gels ‘n Hair Fluids (Requested by princess_castle)
So many products
Can do so much for your hair
I just use a comb

Calm ‘n Quite (Requested by princess_castle)
Calm I understand
But what about the quite part?
You fill in the blank

So Much Fun (Requested by princess_castle)
Camping and Fishing
Away from the pollution
In Nature’s backyard

Thanks For Everything (Requested by princess_castle)
It is my pleasure
To meet the haiku demands
You are most welcome

I Can ‘n I Will (Requested by princess_castle)
Stubborn. Hard-headed
These traits show perseverance
It’s called obstinate

Say Hi To Jorge (Requested by princess_castle)
He works without pause
Answering all the requests
Be sure to greet him

Peace, Progress ‘n Prosperity (Requested by princess_castle)
Worthy desires
To fulfill these is to live
And live well you do

I Hope U Have a Greatttttt Weekend (Requested by princess_castle)
Tony the tiger
Has visited here, I see
He can take a hike

Let Me… (Requested by princess_castle)
You need to relax
Let me handle everything
You’ve had a long day

*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.