Barking Space

Don’t Judge a Book…

So another gigantic lottery has come and gone.

Some lucky person has walked away with over fifty million dollars.

I received a scratch card from an insurance company in the mail yesteday. I didn’t bother to do anything with it at the time, so I brought it to work this morning with me.

I settled down, had some breakfast and took a gander at the card.

I scratched the card with my fork to reveal what I thought would be a try again or a better luck next time kind of message.

Instead, the following message was revealed…

GETAWAY

My heart skipped a beat.

I looked inside the card and read the message that said a vacation prize was up for grabs. A vaction prize worth up to six thousand dollars.

I began to sweat.

I logged into the website indicated on the card to see what I needed to do. It prompted me for a bunch of information, which I promptly filled out. After I submitted this data, a form popped up again, prompting me to enter the code word from the scratch card.

I typed in the word GETAWAY and prepared for my prize…

SORRY, THIS CODE WORD IS INVALID. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME.

Yes.

So, I’m in a great mood now.

Bring on the junk mail!

A Meeting of the Minds

Tomorrow, I meet the Kris: blog celebrity and woman-about-town.

Dave and I always talk about how we have so many awesome bloggers on our links pages, and about how we would feel if we ever met them.

Admittedly (between the two of us), there are a number of stomach-butterfly-inducing scenarios revolving around meeting fellow bloggers

This may be one of them.

Kris recently met up with four other bloggers just a short while ago and had a great time. This just serves to increase the pressure on our get-together tomorrow night. I worry that I might come off as the human equivalent of Pablum*.

To combat this unease, I find it helpful to run through some scenarios in my mind before any meeting, be it work-related or non work-related.

Let’s see what we can see…

Scenario 1 – Jorge Loses His Comedic Timing

[Jorge walks into the meeting place where Kris specified. Jorge recognizes her and casually walks up. He’s feeling a little nervous. Kris stands up and smiles.]

Kris: Jorge? Nice to meet you!
Jorge: [His face twitches.] Your mama.
Kris: Huh?
Jorge: You wish!
Kris: Are you all right? You’re not making sense.
Jorge: [Giggling madly.] Cheque please.

Scenario 2 – Jorge Tries too Hard

[Jorge walks into the meeting place where Kris specified. Jorge recognizes her and casually walks up. He’s feeling a little nervous. He wanted to demonstrate all aspects of his personality to make a good impression. With this in mind, he decided to wear a three-piece suit, a fedora, a Superman cape and no shoes.]

Jorge: [Walking up to Kris.] Hi. You must be Kris.
Kris: [Shocked at his appearance. Fumbling words.] Pardon? I think you have me confused for someone else.
Jorge: [Removing his hat and scratching his head.] Well, you sure look like her. You’re even wearing the same clothes she said she’d be wearing.
Kris: [Hesitation gone now.] Nope. She left. She told me to tell you that she had to go home now. [To waiter.] Cheque Please!

Scenario 3 – The Unexpected

[Jorge walks into the meeting place where Kris specified. Jorge recognizes her and casually walks up. He’s feeling a little nervous. Kris stands up and takes the initiative.]

Kris: Are you Jorge?
Jorge: [Smiling.] Yes! Hi Kris. Nice to meet you! [Extends hand in greeting.]
Kris: [Takes Jorge’s hand. Squeezes with crushing force, causing Jorge to drop to his knees.] I have been sent from the future to kill you.
Jorge: [Wincing in pain.] WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

[Suddenly, several shots are fired. Kris loosens her grip as she has just been shot in the head. Jorge gawks. Kris’ head is splayed out in all directions, but slowly flowing back to re-form. A woman runs up, smoking gun in hand, and pulls Jorge away from the assassin. Jorge looks at his rescuer and sees…the real Kris!]

The Real Kris: [Looking at Jorge inquisitively.] Are you Jorge?
Jorge: [Rubbing the pain out of his crushed hand.] Yeah. What’s going on here?
The Real Kris: Come with me if you want to live.

Wow. The more scenarios I come up with, the more fun it seems this will be!

In all seriousness, I believe it will be a great time. It’s always fun meeting new folks, especially ones you sort of know from their writing (Ian & James – You guys rock. Jay – you are next!). I really enjoy reading Kris‘ work, and so I have a great deal of respect for her**.

I’ll post about it over the weekend if I can. Otherwise, it will be Monday.

* – Insult courtesy of Dave. He thought this up just for me.
** – Do yourself a favour and go read her blog! You’ll know what I’m talking about when you do.

Filed under: Friends, General Dialogue, Spaces Archive |