Transporter Thing

The Transporter

One thing I like to do is quote lines from movies once in a while. I usually change some element of what it is to be funny. This time, though, my wife actually changed it.

We had recently seen Transporter 2 in the theatre.

In the movie, there is a brief exchange between Jason Statham’s rigid, rules-based character (Frank) and a little boy played (quite well) by Hunter Clary…

Frank Martin: What’s the first rule when entering a man’s car?
Jack Billings: Respect a mans car, a man respects you.
Frank Martin: Rule number two?
Jack Billings: Greet the man. Good afternoon Frank!
Frank Martin: Good afternoon Jack.

A few days after we saw the movie, I was sitting in the car waiting for Mrs. J. After a minute or two, she opened the passenger side and joined me in the car. The following conversation ensued (with me doing my best Jason Statham impression)…

Jorge: What’s the first rule when entering a man’s car?
Mrs. J: Kiss the man! [Leans over and plants a kiss on my ugly mug.]
[Jorge is all smiles now. He pulls the car away from the curb and begins driving. Suddenly a thought crosses his mind…]
Jorge: I’d have thought that the first rule would be to make sure that the man is your husband.
Mrs. J: [Laughs.]

Yes. My life is a movie.

Two thumbs up!

Funniest Thing I Heard All Day

I was riding the subway to work today, as I do every day.

Every time the subway left a platform, it would slowly accelerate, jerk once, and then keep accelerating until it reached it’s cruising speed. The cruising speed was not all that quick for some reason.

I didn’t think anything of it, as a lot of the subways are older and prone to odd glitches.

About halfway through my trip, the subway driver piped up over the loudspeaker…

Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I would like to apologize for the delay…

Everyone groaned. Usually when messages begin like that it means we’ll have to get off the subway at the next stop or the subway will have to stop and sit still for a number of minutes (usually about five or ten) due to some problem up ahead…

…The delay is due to the fact that mechanical problems are not allowing us to reach our top speed. This is causing our trip across the city to be somewhat longer than normal and again, I apologize. I have called for a mechanic to meet us further along the route to fix the problem. You can understand that mechanics for these trains are hard to find, as no one really likes to try to repair antiques…

I laughed pretty loudly at his blatant shot at the lack of modern equipment. Folks like him make my day.