Meeting Disclaimer What Bluff Puntification of the Upshot, Side Whiner (Meeting Kris)

The Meeting

So, Friday rolled around, and I was curious as to how my meeting with Kris would go.

I was supposed to meet her in the lobby of the hotel she was staying at and then we were to go somewhere for drinks to be possibly joined by my wife.

With the help of a friend, I figured out a place where we could go, so all that had to be done was to meet her and head on over there.

I was supposed to meet her after work.

I had injured myself during Karate the day before, so it took longer to walk to places than normal. I wasn’t sure how long it would take me to reach there in my injured state, so I decided to leave a little earlier than I normally would have.

Stupid me ended up getting there way earlier than I calculated, so I settled into a seat in the lobby and worked on a future entry in my palm pilot.

I was probably there for about twenty minutes when I decided to get up and walk around.

It’s a good thing I did, because it turns out that Kris was sitting opposite where I was, and we would not have seen each other.

She waved and stood up. I gave her a hug, as I was genuinely glad to meet her.

We went to the pub that my friend had recommended.

The game was on.


For those of you who are obsessed with conspiracy and evil, there was nothing going on here other than two e-friends meeting for drinks, munchies and general conversational goodness.

The expectations involved in getting together with a person with whom you have corresponded with via some form (other than standing in the same room chatting) are hard to pin down. On one hand, you don’t want to set yourself up for any rejection. Although, what you are being rejected about would be also odd to put your finger on.

Speaking for myself, I know that in situations like this I have a silly secret hope that the e-friendship will become something not so e.

It’s like how Pinocchio wanted to become a real boy when he really had no need. I mean, first of all, the guy was a living doll. He achieved so much more than any of his fellow puppets. Secondly, he didn’t really have to worry about much other than fire and termites. And yet, he wanted that extra step. He would sacrifice his partial invincibility to become a mushy walking sack of flesh. He wanted to make that leap of faith.

And so we meet with our fellow bloggers hoping to, at most, attain a new level of friendship. The very least we hope for is some short-term entertainment in the form of conversation.

So, What Happened?

I am a selfish bastard, so I will not go into too much detail regarding what the conversations were about.

Suffice to say that we got along like organic peanut butter and all-natural jam. She was what I expected her to be, and frankly, more.

It was not so much like meeting someone for the first time. It was more like catching up with an old friend. You might consider this somewhat cliché. Well, you can eat me, because that is what it was like.

We shared some wine, some munchies, and chatted like monkeys for the duration of the visit.

Originally, we had a two-and-a-half hour window in which to become acquainted and not kill each other. She had dinner plans with some colleagues, and I had a Halloween party to go to.

It turned out that her dinner plans were cancelled, so she had a lot more time to hang out.

This turned out to be cool, because my wife could meet us after her hair appointment, which is exactly what she did. In fact, they got along really well!

Even though I said I wouldn’t share too much of the conversation, some things are too good to keep to myself.

The Bluff

I had met Kris through Dave’s blog. If I remember correctly, I liked her comment and visited her blog. I commented on there, and challenged her in a counter-comment in Dave’s blog somehow (I think it had something to do with the five second rule or a misspelling of Naomi Watts).

Since that time, the three of us have visited and commented on each others blogs, and had a great time getting to know each other.

Naturally, it would have been even more awesome if Dave could have attended our evening out.

Alas, he resides in Ottawa, so a quick jaunt down the street was out of the question.

However, we did have the next best thing…

Kris: It’s really too bad Dave couldn’t make it out.
Jorge: Funny you should mention that. [Pulls out his cell phone] Let’s call Dave right now! [Dials number.]
Kris: You should tell him that I stood you up!
Jorge: What?
Tell him I stood you up! [Giggling.]
Jorge: Ok.
[Dave picks up.]
Dave: Hello?
Jorge: Dude.
Dave: Hey. So, how is she?
Jorge: [Trying to sound angry.] I’m still sitting in the lobby waiting.
Dave: What?
Jorge: I’ve been sitting here for an hour. I can’t believe she’s not here yet.
[Kris is laughing into her hands so as not to make noise.]
Dave: That totally sucks, dude.
Jorge: Tell me about it. I’m pretty pissed. I mean, you’d think she would have called or something.
Dave: Yeah.
Jorge: I mean, she said let’s meet at five in the lobby of the Sheraton. So here I am. I was even early for fuck’s sake.
Dave: Sorry, mano.
Jorge: And so, here I am in the lobby of the – Oh shit…
Dave: What?
Jorge: Dude, I’m in the wrong place.
Dave: What?
Jorge: I’m in the Hilton. I got confused because this is where she said she was originally going to meet me.
Dave: No way! Are you serious?
Jorge: No. [Laughs.] Here’s Kris…
[Jorge hands the phone over to Kris.]
Kris: So, Jorge tells me you thought I’d have a moustache…


At the place we were eating at, there was a little card-flip thing with some menu highlights at the end of the table, against the wall. Kris found the It’s the Bomb! (Try our Bombay Chicken) card to be hilarious. I, on the other hand, thought it a groaner…

Kris: So what is Canadian food like?
Jorge: What do you mean?
Kris: I mean, what’s different up here than where I come from?
Jorge: It’s mostly the same thing.
Kris: Seriously? I mean, look at that! [Pointing at the card-flip thing.] That is awesome!
Jorge: That is the worst pun ever!
Kris: No way! Is that Canadian food? I wonder who thinks up puns like that?
Jorge: Probably some American person.
Kris: Don’t you be startin’, now.
Jorge: Yeah?
Kris: Yeah. Bring it!

Best Quote of the Night

In reference to Dave and I…

Why are you guys even married? You have each other!

Kris – Toronto – October 28, 2005

The Upshot

It was a great time. I would take a bullet for this gal, because she is so freakin’ awesome.

The Other Side of the Story

You can read the version packed with lies here.

Your Haiku, You Whiner

Sparkling blue eyes
With intelligence and wit
Jorge likey Mama