Gunslinger Hero Kris

Dave and Jorge Talk About the Gunslinger

My friend Adrian got us onto the Dark Tower series by Stephen King. We even started a little role-playing server based on the series.

So, when Dave sent me this link, I was pretty stoked.

A Dark Tower comic series? By Jae Lee? Sign me up!

Of course we discussed it…


[Jorge & Dave are on the phone with each other, each scrolling through the site, looking at the propect of a new Dark Tower Series.]
Jorge: This looks really cool.
Dave: Check out the art. It’s freaking sweet.
Jorge:
I could get into this.
Dave: Did you check out the art?
Jorge:
Well, it’s Jae Lee. His stuff is amazing.
Dave: Yeah.
Jorge:
Man, that’s all I need. Another series to buy.
Dave: [Laughs.]
Jorge: Do you think it’ll be worth getting?
Dave: It does look pretty sweet.
Jorge: Will you be getting it?
Dave: I was just planning on reading yours.
Jorge: Bastard.
Dave: [Laughs.]
Jorge: Definitely blogging this.
Dave: Nice.
Jorge: Well, it’s cool because I have something to write about now.
Dave: Yeah?
Jorge: Yeah. You provide the inspiration, man. You are my sunshine.
Dave: Awww. That’s nice.
Jorge: You are my own personal leprachaun.
Dave: Er…Okay.
Jorge: You are one of the shoemaker’s faeries.
Dave: Don’t blog that.


It was only as I typed this that I remembered that it’s the Shoemaker’s Elves. I am such a sofa king*.


A Hero Lives Here.

Josephine was nice enough to make me my own superhero picture. So I figured the least I could do was appear on Oprah



[Scene fades to Oprah, sitting on her chair. The theme music and applause slowly fade away.]
Oprah: My next guest is a recently created superhero. He’s a nice guy who rights wrongs, and saves kittens from trees. Please welcome Gunshield!
[Gunshield walks in, looking uncomfortable, puts down his shield and gun to awkardly hug Oprah, picks them up and then takes a seat.]
Oprah: Hi Gunshield, thanks for being on our show!
Gunshield: [Looking around, smiling broadly.] Hi Oprah! Thanks for having me on your show! It’s weird being here.
Oprah: Really?
Gunshield: Well, I don’t really feel like a celebrity.
Oprah: Why not? I mean, you are a hero. Heroes need to be admired and given air time to express their views.
Gunshield: I suppose so. A lot of people don’t like how I do things. I’m still pretty new, so it’s been tough.
Oprah: Nice gun by the way.
Gunshield: [Looking down and then turning red.] I knew this costume was too tight…
Oprah: [Taken aback.] Er…I was referring to your firearm.
Gunshield: [Putting shield on lap.] Oh! Uh…Geez. Sorry.
Oprah: [Looks nervously at camera crew.] That’s ok. So what kind of powers do you have?
Gunshield: Well, I do have the ability to fly. I’m invulnerable to harm. I can run very fast and have unbelievable strength. I also can shoot beams from my eyes.
Oprah: Really?
Gunshield: Yeah. The beams thing is something I don’t use, though. I get too many splinters under my eyelids.
Oprah: Oookay….So…why do you have a gun and shield?
Gunshield: Because they’re cool! I use the shield as my own extra large plate when going to the buffet lines in restaurants. You wouldn’t believe how much soup I can get in this thing. Besides, Flying-Invulnerable-Fast-Strong-Beameyes-Man sounds stupid.
Oprah: So, earlier you referred to your methods being questionable. What did you mean by that?
Gunshield: There was a cat in a tree. And it would not come down. And I didn’t really want to touch the cat, because the owner said it had fleas. So I put my shield down on the ground under the branch where the cat was sitting, and took aim…
Oprah: You shot at the cat?
Gunshield: Well, I tried to shoot the branch, so it would fall and I could catch the cat in the shield. But I am kinda new at it…
Oprah: What happened?
Gunshield: I hit the cat. [Audience gasps.] Kidding!
Oprah: That’s a relief.
Gunshield: I actually hit a bird. It was pretty bad there were feathers ev-MMPH!
Oprah: [Putting her hand on Gunshield’s mouth.] Well, that’s all the time we have for today…



Poor, poor Gunshield…


Meeting Kris!

Today I get to meet Kris.

If I don’t report back by Monday, please call the authorities.

I wore my titanium cup today, in case she really is a cyborg that hates men.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, read this.




* – This refers to the wonderful little prank you play on people, where you get them to read these words: I AM WE TODD DID. I AM SOFA KING WE TODD DID.

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10 Responses

  1. your blogging this? Translation, don’t be angry because I chat with hot babes on the internet all day. You are so Kip!

  2. I wish I was a superhero. I can power a small city with my whining would be my power:P ~vix~

  3. Hey Jorge, totally off topic to your blog here, did you go to Reding? Just randomly clicked on your space through mine.

  4. I did go to Reding. Can’t seem to get to your space at the moment.

  5. I was actually just telling Vixy that I had SUPER SIGHT… well not really, but my vision is better than average… so I guess I could be “THE FINDER”!! My super ability would be the ability to find small lost articles… yeah!

  6. Maybe you can help Dave find his manhood then. ZING!

  7. You’re funny dude! Have a great weekend. TTFN:)

  8. Yeah, I heard Stephen King was doing this and that Jae Lee was going to draw it. I also heard Jae Lee is a very lazy artist and has to be pushed daily by his editor. I think it will be cool. I’m not much into graphic novels… but what a pairing! Cool cape, btw… is the beam deal like PowerPoint? lol Q

  9. Don’t we all fantasize about getting interviewed by Oprah. She exudes power that no mortal can match, or perhaps mortals of the future never will…. Great superhero… Can Ian the kilted warrior join in on the crime fightin’ action? Hope you had a good weekend my man! I’ll be sure to catch up with on MSN this week. Saturday – my favourite Irish bar… and a pub crawl of female massage therapy students… A fun night indeed! Cheers bud\ ~ian

  10. The sad part to this it that I knew what you referring to with ‘I am a sofa king.’ Isn’t it amazing that something like this would have made it across such a large part of the world? Weird, really. Nice gun, eh? Haha. My mind went straight to the gutter with that one, Jorge. 😉 I hope your meeting with Kris went great!

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