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Pride, No Prejudice

Why Are We So Proud?

I have a serious question for my fellow Canuckleheads.

I read an article recently that repeats the message that Canadians are essentially proud of not being American.

This really doesn’t cut it. It’s a half-assed idea of patriotism, to say the least.

Ironically, Americans (at least the ones I know) have quite a number of intelligent reasons why they are so patriotic.

So I want you all to tell me one reason each why you are proud of where you live and who you are.

And I don’t want you to say because I am not American because that is not a reason. That is just lame.

As a good friend of mine said…


Everyone should be proud of who they are and where they are from, but not at the detrement of the feelings and beliefs of others.
– Handsome B. Wonderful, 2005

Jorge’s Guide to Toronto – III

We’ve Only Just Begun…

The guide to the city I live in continues…

In this chapter, I will be dealing with another section of town, as well as a small section on how to ride our public transit system.

Toronto is a large city. It’s certainly not as populous as, say, New York, but it’s got its share of people.

If everyone drove cars here, it would be a nightmare. The city follows a loose grid system, and thus is not all that efficient when it comes to moving traffic around.

This is where our public transportation system comes in…



Ride the Rocket (Or, a Quick Breakdown, So to Speak)

There is no need for me to go into too much detail when it comes to the Toronto Transit Commission. If you want to read a bit about the history of the TTC, this page is a great place to start.

I will simply be giving some tips to getting around this fair city.

Before I begin, you might want to open another window and have these maps handy.

The core of the TTC is the subway. It is the backbone of the public transit system. There are four main lines that run through the city. Two of the subway lines basically end up uoutlining downtown (Bloor/Danforth and Yonge/University/Spadina). If you look at the map you will see.

Supporting this spine would be the streetcars. They run along some of the major streets downtown and just outside of downtown. Their point of origin is usually a subway station.

Last, but not least (and definitely most numerous) are the buses. If the subway is the spine, that would make the streetcars the skeleton. Obviously the buses would be the skin.

Er…

Anyway, the buses crisscross the city, allowing for (somewhat) convenient transportation from one area of the city to the other, provided you have the time.



The Better Way (Or What to Do When Riding the TTC)

You will probably notice more courtesy on those trucks in Jamaica that carry a thousand people (riding in, on top of, off the side of, and possibly underneath the vehicle) than you will on a civilized system.

Our public transport system is not primitive. Just the people are.

Here are some helpful tips to keep you sane when on the move…


  • When a subway arrives, make sure you stand aside so the people on board can get off. There are times when people are slow to realize it’s their stop. They might be asleep, or perhaps drunk, so they realize at the last second that it is time for them to get off. They usually run into you on their way out as you enter the vehicle, because you’ve usually waited for a reasonable amount of time and have figured that everyone has exited already. They will usually be rude, and will confront you to make themselves feel better. Make sure you don’t kick them in the crotch or punch them in the face, because you can stil go to jail, even though you are in the right. Try and be more subtle. Step on their foot by accident, or step on their laces so they become untied, and will possibly trip later.
  • If you are entering a vehicle, try your best to move to the back. It is also acceptible, if you are going to be only going a short way, to stand near an exit. This will facilitate your speedy exit from the vehicle without getting everyone to get out of your way twice. That being said, try to make sure you keep a patch clear so people can get in and out without too much difficulty
  • If you see a free seat, take it. WHen you are sitting, that is room for another person to stand. If an elderly, disabled, or pregnant person enters the vehicle, offer them your seat. There are too many young people who don’t respect people, and thus don’t offer them a seat. Come to think of it, there are too many older people who have no respect, too. Do the right thing.
  • Don’t stick your face out in front of an oncoming subway to see if you’re fast enough to pull your head aside in time. You are not that fast, and it gets messy.
  • You will notice that there may be an announcement over the loudspeakers while riding on the subway. This message will ususally be indicating that there is a problem somewhere. Unfortunately, the person that designed this speaker system is the same person that designed the drive-through speaker system, too. You will not be able to understand what is being said. Feel free to look around at your fellow passengers and make humorous comments about it like did he just say what I think he said? or I wonder if we should get fries with that?
  • Almost all bus drivers hate you.
  • Closing your eyes to nap on the subway deprives you of one of the best forms of free entertainment ever: people watching.
  • If you ride the TTC there is a chance I will write about you on here. Don’t be a prick to me.



Greek

A visit to Toronto would not be complete if you didn’t at least visit Greektown. They even have their own webpage!

Greektown is located along Danforth Avenew between Chester Avenue and Jones Avenue.

This is the largest openly Greek neighbourhood in North America. It is an excellent place to find Greek culture and thus, there are some pretty amazing places to eat.

Certainly you will find various franchises all around the city that have a Greek theme. But the Greek food along the Danforth is to die for. Don’t get me wrong, these franchinses do have good food. However, it’s like saying McDonald’s is the ultimate place to get a hamburger.

When you are in Greektown, you will notice that people are very friendly. They all want to shake your hands and hug you. It is a warm atmosphere.

Make sure, though, that when you introduce yourself to people, you should only ask them for their first name. Trying to pronounce Greek last names will usually lead to a brain hemorrhage.

Seriously, with names like Cosmopolotipolis, Frangalankalopopopolis and Cantseemtofindsnuffalupagus you can see why.

You should also make sure you bring one of your new Greek friends to any restaurant you might want to go to. They will be very helpful in pronouncing some of the food names that you encounter.

Once a year (usually for a weekend) there is an event called Taste of the Danforth. It is an excellent event that has childrens games and other activities. There are usually specials at all the restaurants along the Danforth (not just the Hellenic ones). Over a million people attend this event every year.

Oh! Almost forgot. Mind the flying plates and flaming cheese. It’s a dangerous world out there!




Index

  1. Introduction, Italian, Chinese

  2. CN Tower, Portuguese

  3. TTC, Greek

  4. Zanta, Ukrainian

Strike Funny

Dave and Jorge Strike Again!

Kris is taking off for vacation, and rather than leaving everyone high and dry, she proposed to have a best of 2005 compilation. She wanted examples of what people thought their own best blog entries were. All we had to do was submit links and a short sentence or two describing the story.

I was thinking about one of the pieces I was going to submit, I was trying to remember the catchy name for New York. I consulted my number one source of info…


Jorge: Hey Dave.
Dave:
Hey.
J: I’m stuck. I’m trying to remember what New York is the City of.
D: Huh?
J: Is New York the City of Lights?
D: No, I think Paris is the City of Lights.
J: Dammit. Well, if Paris is the City of Lights and Chicago is The Windy City, then what is New York?
D: The City of…[A few seconds…]…Hobos?
J: Totally blogging that.


It turns out it was The Big Apple that I was trying to remember*


J: Wicked. This is why you are the man.
D: Yeah?
J: Not only did I get the information I was looking for, I also got a new entry.
D: This is true.
J: It’s like the goose that lays the golden eggs.
D: Uh…
J: Except you lay…[A few seconds…]…Hobos…
D: Don’t blog that.
J: I got nothing.


I’m still laughing at that first bit of conversation, though.

Funny Story

You need to do yourself a favour and read this story. My friend Shatton wrote it when he was in grade eight.

It’s funny on its own, but with the modern footnotes it’s even funnier!




* – I have been informed by Kris that New York is The City that Never Sleeps. Dave and I are wankers for not knowing this. Especially Dave.

Wow Worst

Wow

I have reached a new low. I actually got an image hit for Clint Howard.


Other hits of note…



Worst Idea Ever

I was watching television yesterday and saw a small news piece on a guy who has created a new idea for men.

Essentially it shows men how to cook with powertools.

He claims that a lot of men don’t see cooking as being manly enough, so by introducing these power tools into the equation, men can feel more comfortable in the kitchen.

This man is both a genius and an idiot.

He’s a genius because he is tapping into the male psyche. I mean, what could be cooler than using a drill as a mixer? Or a power saw to cut meat? Undoubtedly he will make some decent cash off of this endeavour.

On the other hand, he’s an idiot because no girl in her right mind would buy her male partner this book. My reasoning is as follows…


  • Any man who doesn’t like to cook will also most likely not like to clean. The mess this shmoe made while creating batter for something or other was huge! He’s the expert! Can you imagine what an amateur would do? Who do you think will be cleaning up the mess? I doubt even a ShopVac will put a dent in a gooey mess like that.
  • Something about holding a tool five times the size of the bowl you are mixing in just seems like a bad idea.
  • Nothing like introducing a higher possibility for serious injury in the kitchen, I always say.

The Good Parts of the Feud

The Good Parts of the Trip

I was thinking about writing a lengthy introduction about Cuba, but then I realized that I would just be regurgitating things that can be found here. So visit that site if you’re game for a well-written synopsis of Cuba.

I’ll wait for you.

Done?

Good.

Our trip to Cuba was very relaxing.

That would be the best way to describe it.

No crazy scheduled tours or excursions to parts unknown. We stuck to the resort like glue, and it suited us just fine.

One of the first things I noticed is that even though folks seem to have far less than we do, they are very proud. This translates to a really great time. The folks there are really friendly, and to me it seemed they were that way not only because they had to be, but because they wanted to be.

We spent our week in Holguin, which is located on the Eastern side of Cuba.

The resort, though considered a Five-Star in Cuba, was probably more of a Four-Star elsewhere. Not that I am complaining.

The food was excellent, as was the service.

Our housekeeper was so awesome. We would write her letters in Spanish, and she would reply back, folgding our towels into swans and our blankets into big hearts. She was a sweetie. We actually just sent her a postcard from Toronto.

The best part of the whole vacation was the beach. The sand was nice, and the water was relatively shallow for a good distance.

We had great weather practically every day, and the biggest decision was whether to hang out at the beach or the pool.

We met a lot of really great people as well (which offset the stupid ones). The bartenders were also awesome.

I would definitely go back to Cuba if I had the chance.

Sorry if this seems so short, but we really didn’t do a lot when we went down there. It made for a refreshing stay!



Family Feud

I have two very dear friends, namely Dave and Kris, who are feuding.

Why are they feuding?

I have no idea.

Kris complains that Dave doesn’t really comment enough on her blog.

Dave complains that Kris doesn’t ever return his e-mails.

My good people, how will we end this War of the Roses?

Leave Kris and Dave some advice here, to help them resolve their problem.

Better yet, why don’t you two use this as a forum to work things out, you whiners…