Tourists Suck

Tourists Suck

My wife and I recently took a week’s vacation at an all-inclusive resort in Cuba.

One of the big draws of Cuba is that there are no noisy Americans there.

Now before any of my American friends freak out, let me explain.

A few years ago, we went to a resort in the Dominican. While we were there, we noticed that you could tell where people were from by how loud and obnoxious they were. The quiet ones were from Canada. This was something that one of the staff told me.

In hindsight, I realize the loud ones were just Republicans.


Back to the Cuban trip.

One of the travel agents told us that the benefit to going was that there were no Americans. This wasn’t really a deciding factor (price and timing were), so it was just something to laugh at.

News flash, folks.

People from all over the world can be jackasses.

Let us examine some people*

[We are on a shuttle bus that will be taking us from the airport to the resort. Close to the bus is a beer stand. A Canadian male (we will call him John) steps onto bus. He is obviously not an athletic person. He spots his wife (we will call her Martha)…]
John: [Shouting] Hey Martha! Where the hell is Bernie?
Martha: He’s not on the bus.
J: I know. This is why I asked you.
M: He’s still in the airport talking to someone.
J: Well, he should be on the bus. It’s going to leave without him.
M: He’ll be here. The bus won’t leave.
J: Somoene should go get him. [Obviously posturing so that he is not the one who will do the task]
M: [Sighs] Do you just want me to go get you a beer? Is that it?
J: [Affirmative silence]
M: [Sighs again, and turns to her companions] Anyone else want a beer?
[Everyone shakes their head. She walks off the bus, but not after shaking her head at her husband. When she is out of earshot, he looks up and smirks…]
J: [Making no move to be quiet] Stupid.

Nice, eh? Nothing like demonstrating your love for your singificant other by telling complete strangers how you really feel.

It turns out that on our last day, as we were getting ready to leave, this moron struck again. A kid (probably no more than 10) was standing on the edge of one of the little fish ponds at the front of the resort. He was obviously watching the fish. This guy (John) snuck up behind the kid, and scared the crap out of him by pretending to push the poor youngster into the pond.

The kid scooted off to his parents.

I’d like to point out…

  • This kid did not belong to John
  • John didn’t even know the kid
  • John, in the ultimate sign of maturity**, starts boasting to his friends as to what he just did.


Here’s another situation.

There were several a la carte restaurants. They were pretty good. Nice and quiet. Definitely not as busy as the buffets. On our last night we went for dinner at one of the more romantic places. There was a pianist playing nice tunes, and the restaurant was definitely geared to those wishing to have a nice quiet time.

Until the kids from hell show up.

They run all around the stage, making a boatload of noise, interfering with the poor pianist. Their parents did nothing.

These families were Canadian.

True North strong and loud?


Other than some little snots from England, the majority of the stupidity was performed by our fellow countrymen, which only goes to show that people all over the world can be idiots.

So, I have an interesting question to ask you all: What aspect of your culture or country are you not proud of?

* – Please note, all names are ficticious. If they happen to be the actual names of the people I referenced, I apologize. I am merely making up names for convenience. However, if I guessed correctly, those people deserve it for being morons.
** – The opposite, actually.