Jorge’s Guide to Inviting Children With Bad Habits

  • Buy a model of a complete skeleton. Make sure it is kid-sized. Adult skeleton will not work
  • Hang it in a spare closet in the house
  • Wait until children misbehave and then start mentioning their older brother who didn’t listen
  • Inevitably children’s curiosity will prompt them to ask about said older brother
  • Make a show of not wanting to talk about it
  • Arrange to have them find the model skeleton by accident
  • Problem solved



An Open Invitation

Contact has officially started (actually it started last week). Contact is the largest photo exhibition in North America. It runs for the month of May. Tomorrow (the 7th) there will be an opening for my work at Cornerstone Furniture.

Please come out if you are interested in seeing what it is that I like to photograph (actually, what I have on display is a small cross-section). There are also quite a number of other photographers showing their work in the neighbourhood, making it quite the evening if you like photography.

I will have some munchies and juice, and there will be a guestbook for people to sign.

Check my Photography Page for information.



My Worst Habits

I am a very enthusiastic person. I’m sure this can be quite a positive thing (infectious, hopefully), but at the same time, I know it can annoy the hell out of people.

This enthusiasm leads to some of my worst habits.

Bad Habit #1 – Unnecessary Revelation

Yes, that makes it sound way better than it is. A very annoying thing that I do is tell people that they should go look at something, and then completely describe it in the next breath, thus ruining the wonder of their discovery. This is not to say that I spoil movie endings or anything like that. On the contrary, those are sacred, and the law states that spoiling movies is punishable by castration. No, the things I am referring to are blog entries, or something publicly available for viewing. Sometimes I relate stories to people who aren’t even interested in the topic, but they listen politely, and nod in all the right places.

Bad Habit #2 – Replying to EVERY E-mail

This is a bad habit that definitely annoys everyone. I will reply to every e-mail that I see in my inbox, regardless of content. I will reply most of the time with short phrases that really are best left untyped.

Observe…



To: All employees
From: CEO
Subject: Meeting

I wanted to thank everyone for coming out to the meeting today. It was a good experience and I think we are all re-affirmed of our place in the market.

Sincerely,
CEO


To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Meeting

The pleasure was ours. The meeting was informative, and I know I took away quite a number of things to consider.

Thanks,
Jorge


To: Jorge
From: CEO
Subject: Re: Re: Meeting

This type of feedback is most appreciated. Have a great day!

Sincerely,
CEO


To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Meeting

You too.

Thanks,
Jorge


To: Jorge
From: CEO
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting

Ok, that’s enough.

With warning,
CEO


To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting

Okay.

Thanks,
Jorge


To: Jorge
From: CEO
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting

Honestly, stop it.

I’m not kidding,
CEO


To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting

Gotcha.

Thanks,
Jorge


To: Jorge
From: CEO
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting

You’re fired.

With Vengeance,
CEO


To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting

🙂

Thanks,
Jorge



It’s odd. I’m not normally about getting in the last word. But something about e-mail induces obsessive-compulsive behaviour in me.

Just thought I would share these with you. I know I torment a lot of you with these things, and so I apologize. Will I stop? Probably not. I at least acknowledge these bad habits though, which is the first step towards building a better illusion for myself.

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Hai-Kuul – May 06, 2005

My Inner Self – My Soul (Requested by Barb)
Deep inside of me
There is a magical spark
It’s what makes me, me!


Tip Your Server (Bad Tippers Suck) (Requested by Ian)
In the restaurant
Make sure you show gratitude
When your server rocks!


Bagpipers Everywhere (Requested by Ian)
Ah! The sound of pipes
Surrounds me like a chorus
Of wailing magpies


Halifax is Too Small, When You Get Recognized For Your Blog (Requested by Ian)
His name is Ian
Living in Halifax he
Is a blogging star!


Stripes (Requested by Theresa Warrior Princess)
Some parallel lines
Vertical, Horizontal
They make one look slim


Wild World (Requested by Theresa Warrior Princess)
The Concrete Jungle
That’s what some people call it
The world’s far from tame


Chewed Fingers (Requested by Theresa Warrior Princess)
A nervous habit?
Perhaps a way to pass time?
Or are you hungry?


What About Me? (Requested by Theresa Warrior Princess)
Sports are so stressful
They are choosing the teams and
I am last again




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.