What’s In a Name?

Learn How to Read!

Sometimes I really hate my name.

Throughout my life my name has been mispronounced, mangled, butchered and horribly castrated (poor, poor name).

For the record, the default pronunciation goes like this (for lack of phonetic symbols, I will just relate it to words you already know. Part of this is because some people do not know how to read phonetic symbols. The other part consists of my inherent laziness)…

Jorge = George

Figueiredo = Figure Aid Oh

Let us go through the list of acceptable pronunciations…

  • Hor-hey – Not so bad because it’s the Spanish way.
  • Hor-gey – Also sort of Spanishy.
  • Ghee-or-ghee – (Note those are hard G sounds) The Russian way.
  • Yoo-ri – Another Russian way.
  • Joh-jee – Korean.
  • Jackass – Term of endearment.
  • Figure Eight Oh – Not bad. The t at the end of eight is better as a d. But I’ll take this.
  • Fig Ray Doh – Also not bad.
  • Fig Lay Doh – A member of Ebay who purchased a monitor from me pronounced it this way. Also not so bad.

Let us now go through a sample of the list of unacceptable pronunciations. I will rate them with emoticons to allow you to understand my pain…

  • Jor-ghee Figdo 😦
  • Jor-oo Flower-ee-doh 😮
  • Ya-hor-gey Fig 😕
  • Hoh-sey Fiji-dehr-oh 😯

That last one was the most recent. The ironic thing is that the person left a message on my home voicemail asking for me, they used that travesty at the end of the bad list. After they left the message, they called me at work, and they pronounced my name right.