With Not So Goodest Mostest Less Conversation

A few short rants, as it has been a while…

Boombox With Not So Much Boom

I was on the bus the other day when I saw this kid. He was probably thirteen or fourteen years old.

He was wearing a winter coat with a mesh pocket on the outside. In this pocket was some sort of
speaker device, whether it was an MP3 player with the speaker attached, or just the speaker itself, I don’t know.

The fact of the matter is that he was playing music out loud for everyone to hear.

It was horrible.

It’s bad enough that people destroy their hearing by listening to music with their headphones so loud that you can hear them on the other end of the subway, but this was just ridiculous.

As we got off the bus, I made a comment. He was trying to avoid looking at anyone, so I don’t know if he heard me…

JORGE: I don’t know what’s worse. The fact that you’re playing music out loud through a speaker, or the fact that it is the crappiest music on Earth. I mean, a dance remix of Roxette’s “Listen to Your Heart”? Leave the damn song alone!

Mostest Goodest English

I was listening to the radio this morning when I heard a grown man use the word samwich in a fast-food commercial. Wow. This guy must have gone to the George W. Bush Noo-Cue-Lar School of Foilage.

Honestly, if you are not from another country, you really have no excuse for not pronouncing English words incorrectly on the radio. It’s just wrong.

Certainly it is impossible to know how to pronounce every word properly, but when people who have been living here for less than three years can speak better than someone who has lived her for far longer…


Do I really need to go on?

A Little Less Conversation, Please

I was on the subway today in front of two guys chatting about stuff.

First of all, one of they guys was talking exceptionally loud. I mean, some people have loud voices, but this guy was practically yelling, like he wanted the entire subway car to hear the conversation.

Secondly, the conversation sounded like two parrots…

Guy 1: [Loudly.] So where are you living now?
Guy 2: Oh, I’m living at Location X.
G1: That place is cool, eh? Isn’t it?
G2: Yeah. Cool.
G1: Nice. There’s a huge park there right? It’s huge!
G2: Yeah. Yeah it’s huge.
G1: Must be a pain in the ass to drive around there. Isn’t it a pain in the ass?
G2: Totally. Pain in the ass. That’s why I take the subway.
G1: Ah yeah. It’s probably all traffic-jammed because of that friggin’ park.
G2: Yeah. That park jams it all up.
G1: Maybe they should build some major roads through the part. That would totally solve the problem.
G2: Yeah. Totally.

After about five minutes of this, I wanted to feed Guy 2 some crackers.

Am I being too judgemental?

I mean, when I have conversations with people, I’m not spouting Shakespearean dialogue by any stretch of the imagination. However, I tend to have conversations that are at least somewhat intelligent and not louder than jet engine noise.

My ears are still ringing.

14 Responses

  1. So you actually said something to the speaker kid? That’s awesome. I was talking to a woman here at work today, very nice lady, but she said “SANGWICH!” I hate loudtalkers. I daresay there are a few in the office! The worst is loudtalkers at the airport, though. Because they’re always talking about corporate bs like mergers and stock and newfangled technology that they don’t actually understand, but own because it is expensive. Get out your paint scraper and and make motions at their feet because they shouldn’t be standing where they are. They’re ruining everything!

  2. muwha. parrot man would have been amusing to me. I think it would be hot if you spouted shakespeare…. okay. thats my comment for today. I think the kids jacket had built IN speakers.. those were the mesh things you saw…. Clever eh. Xo ~SV~

  3. Hooray!!! I know you’re young, and you were crotchety! Sadly, that makes my day.

  4. For the love of all things correct!!! I would have axt the kid with the music to turn it off…or threatened to jam the mp3 player or what have you up his arse. The radio…well…nothing to be said for that. I’ve heard bad bad things on there. The parrot…well…you should have smacked him in the back of the head. That’s how I stop things from skipping…I smack them. No, I don’t think you’re being judgemental. Here…maybe this will make you feel better. This is a conversation I had the other day with someone at Student Loans: Lady at SL: ” thank you for calling the National Student Loans Service Center, how can I resist you?” Me: “Pardon Me?” (Almost laughing in her ear.) Lady at SL: ” assist” Me: ” I’m calling to check the status of the forms that I sent in on November 15th” Lady at SL: “forms? we didn’t send you forms” Me: ” what?! I’m sorry but I’m sure that you send me the forms that I filled out three weeks ago and faxed to you.” Lady at SL: *says something inaudibe that sounded like ” I want to eat your pine” Me: ” pardon me?” Lady at SL: ” oh, my mistook, I see that we did send them to you, but they are the correct forms, you’ll have to fill them out again and send them back to us.” Me: ” if they are correct why do I have to fill them out again?” Lady at SL: “sorry incorrect *something inaudible” Me: “ok, ummm…so you’re sending the correct forms then?” Lady at SL:” what is the weather like where you are?” Ok…at this point I wanted to go through the phone and choke her. Her english was AWFUL. She didn’t know what the hell she was talking about. I didn’t get anything out of her other than the fact that they had sent the new forms “sometime last week” and that I should get them “sometime this week” I can handle people being new on the job, or what have you. This woman was clearly inept. ” I want to eat you pine” was actually “what is your SIN?” well, I gave you my SIN when I called the 800 number lady…why do you need it again? BLAH. Anyway, that’s when I asked to speak to someone with a better command of the english language. So…I don’t think that you are at all judgemental. Linette

  5. Lin, what a silly question she asked! How could anyone resist you? 🙂 Stupid people asking dumb questions…

  6. Heh… I’m still chuckling about the “I want to eat you pine” comment… 🙂 Looks like the Barkster’s got a CHIP on his shoulder! GO JORGE GO! GET ‘EM ALL! Fortunately I don’t have to deal with the idiocy of the public transit system… most of my annoyances and blind rages are directed towards the many blind and completely inept people who are issued licenses and put behind the wheel of their own personal two-ton killing-machines… whew… it’s amazing how many times in ONE MORNING one must risk one’s life just to get to work… people really do some stupid things when you put them behind the wheel of a car. Worry not, you Handsome Man, ranting is cathartic. Carry on! Carry forth!

  7. Was it one of those days where just everything gets our your nerves? I have rants like these occasionally, too. (I ate some turkey for you today, by the way.)

  8. Oh Jorge.. 🙂 I want to eat your pine. 🙂 🙂 Night Night. (Do you think that it was my sunny disposition that made her ask how she could resisit me?)

  9. 1.5 more sleeps! But Jorge, honey, why is it that some girl wants to eat your pine? 🙂

  10. All the girls want to eat my pine. At least that’s what they say. One day, when I figure out what it means, I might regret it.

  11. as bad as subway conversation is, I think its worse in the doctor’s waiting room. I once got subjected to a lenghty conversation about margarine. “In my day, margarine wasn’t yellow, it was white. You had to color the margarine to make it look like butter. We added things to it to give it that color.”

  12. Ah man – I think actually seeing part of my thumb laying on the cutting board would be awful! At least mine is still attached. Yikes. Have a good weekend!

  13. LOL…I like, the reference to “some girl eating [your] pine” You know what Jorge, if I knew what it meant….I would have told you. hehe… I’m sure that’s not what she said, but wow! it was close. Anyway, I’m off to do some DJing…Have a good weekend. Linette

  14. Obviously G2 did not actually want to be talking to G1. Well, at least that’s how I respond to people I don’t want to be talking to.

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