Best LOL Within

Best Friend. Worst Influence

I am the king of idiots.

I suppose that should be capitalized…

Make that the King of Idiots, or Ye Olde Kinge of Idiotse.

When I was a child, I had a ridiculously high IQ (or so people tell me).

Then, I discovered beer and I set the record for degradation of IQ score. Consequently, I always end up getting myself into stupid situations because I can’t keep my mouth shut.

My good friends know that I will pretty much do anything if they dare me or make fun of me. Probably a throwback to childhood when people would make fun of me but I couldn’t actually do anything about it.

Here are some examples…

I was visiting Tien a few years ago, and his dad has an awesome sense of humour. His dad also knew that we’re mildly competitive with each other.

We were sitting in their living room and talking about mowing lawns…

Jorge: Is your backyard very big?
Tien’s Dad: Big enough. You know, Tien can cut the grass in fifteen minutes. That’s pretty fast.
Jorge: [Leaning out of his chair and checking out the lawn.] Really?
[Everyone laughs because they know Jorge is wondering if he could cut it faster.]

Here is another instance from a few weeks ago at Tien’s Stag. We were eating at Schwartz’s in Montréal. They have a combo that is essentially gigantic, and I wasn’t sure if I could eat it or not. I asked everyone what they were having…

Jorge: Tien, what are you having?
Tien: Number Six. Schwartz’s Combo.
Jorge: What about you, mano?
Dave: I don’t know. I’m hungry, but I’m not sure if- What the hell. I’ll have number six.
Jorge: I’m not sure if I want that combo. I mean, a nice smoked meat sandwich could hit the spot.
Dave: Well, that’s ok. You can eat what you want. You don’t have to get the number six [Looking down and smirking.].
Jorge: Bastard.

Of course, I ordered the Schwartz’s combo. It was good, but I think I offset the orbit of the Earth after eating that meal.

Fast forward to last week when Dave wrote this entry. He mentioned the National Novel Writing Month contest. Essentially, one has to write a novel in a month (at least 50000 words).

I almost dismissed this until I read this line at the end of the entry…

What do you think? Tell me what to do. And if you’ve got the yarbles, suffer with me.

I am such an idiot.

Of course I agreed to join him. And I actually might only have 3 weeks to do it if my wife and I end up going on vacation at the end of November.

This is like a 200-page Schwartz’s combo.

Let’s hope I can get through it.

ROTK LOL (Skip this if you are not the least bit geeky)

So, nerd that I am, I invited some friends over to watch Lord of the Rings: Return of the King on Saturday afternoon.

These types of events are usually chock full of good food and drinks. Yesterday was no exception.

I got to meet James, which was awesome. I MSN with him every now and then (sounds kinky), and so I know him in that respect. Now I can put a face to the typing, and he’s a pretty cool guy.

He lives just North of my friend Dave (not Dave but the other one), who was also coming down for the movie, but lacks vehicular mobility.

Rather than have Dave taking the not-so-reliable public transit system, I asked James if he could pick Dave up.

That must have been interesting*

[Doorbell rings. Dave opens door.]
James: Hi. I’m looking for Dave.
Dave: That’s me! You must be James.
James Yup! Ready to go?
Dave: Yes I am!
[Dave grabs his coat and his contribution to the potluck and they get in James’ car.]
Dave: So, are you a friend of Jorge’s?
James: Not really. You are, though, right?
Dave: Yeah. Um…Do you know him very well?
James: Not really.
Dave: Am I safe? Or should I jump out of the car now?

They seemed to have hit it off, though, as they weren’t trying to kill each other when I answered the door.

A few more people arrived and we settled in to watch the flick. The movie is longer than four hours, so we made sure to bring all of the food with us into the living room, so as to minimize disruption.

When I watch movies with my good friends, one of two scenarios happen…

  • We watch the movie in rapt silence, enjoying every minute
  • We insert our own funny commentary, enjoying every minute

Dave and I were quiet, but James started off and people started laughing. Once that happened, the floodgates opened and Dave and I set the commentary party ablaze (acutally, everyone had some hilarious lines).

I would have to say the best line was during a scene where Sauron’s Army marches forth from Minas Morgul. The Witch King of Angmar is flying on his fell beast over the canyon, where the road to the Black Gate is packed totally solid.

As the Nazgul flew over the army, Dave said…

Traffic is currently backed up all the way to Minas Morgul!

We all burst out laughing hysterically.

Positivity Needed. Apply Within.

A friend of mine is going through a tough time right now.

I don’t feel comfortable writing about the situation, out of respect for my friend. It’s nothing evil. It’s just a very sad event. If you have any spare positive thoughts/energy/prayers that you can send my way, I’ll pass them on.

If you know who I am talking about, please don’t mention names in the comments.

Due to my hero complex, I feel utterly helpless in situations like this.

* – This conversation is entirely ficticious.

16 Responses

  1. “I will pretty much do anything if they dare me or make fun of me.” Hmmmmm.. *filed away for future reference* LOL 😉 That ROTK line is priceless. Re: Positivity Needed. Just you being there makes you a dear friend already. There’s really not a lot you can say in a situation like that. Even though you want to be a hero, you don’t have the power to take away other people’s pain. But you are not helpless. Your love & support is the best thing you can give, and you are already doing that. Peace be with her. And you. Cat

  2. I think its great your being positive for your pal. I can only provide virtual hugs – not the same, but I will keep this person in my thoughts.

  3. Hi Jorge…. Firstly, thank you for popping by and leaving the sweet comment….I appreciate it very much…. I would have done the same thing …ordered the number 6 lol….too funny… You seem like a wonderful friend and the words that I send …..always remember that life is truly a gift and we need to enjoy it in every way….. and my quote…. Live each day as if it were your last day on Earth and Love as if it were your first day in Heaven……. Remember every day is a Wonder in itself….don’t let them slip away….. and some more thoughts…..quotes Happiness will never be any greater than the idea we have of it. Author: Maurice Maeterlinck Joy increases as you give it, and diminishes as you try to keep it for yourself. In giving it, you will accumulate a deposit of joy greater than you ever believed possible. Author: Norman Vincent Peale Practice hope. As hopefulness becomes a habit, you can achieve a permanently happy spirit. Author: Norman Vincent Peale If you want to get somewhere you have to know where you want to go and how to get there. Then never, never, never give up. Author: Norman Vincent Peale Stand up to your obstacles and do something about them. You will find that they haven’t half the strength you think they have. Author: Norman Vincent Peale Four steps to achievement: Plan purposefully. Prepare prayerfully. Proceed positively. Pursue persistently. Author: William A. Ward All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope. Author: Winston Churchill Hope your friend feels better soon…. Have a great week Jorge… Cheers…. Diana

  4. Jorge, you are in for a run for your money when you come over. Jason and I are super competitive. Of course, Jason never wins, but I think this just fuels his drive to keep on trying. It’s futile, really, but funny to watch.

  5. Jay, I have NO clue why I would be running for my money, seeing as how I have none.

  6. Hahaha @ Dave and James – it sounded like they were meeting for a blind date or something! Just being there for your friend is about all you can do, Jorge. Keep it up.

  7. Heh… good times Jorge! 🙂 Awesome time! Except for a couple of tense moments, both involving Cream Soda, in fact… when the bottle EXPLODED all over me when I opened it… (I guess keeping it in the trunk on the way over was a BAD idea… especially with ME driving…) and trying desperately not to get any on the WHITE COUCH… and then when we said something particularly funny and your poor neighbor almost DROWNED on Cream Soda… (she happened to be taking a drink at that precise moment) I really thought I was going to have to administer first aid… 🙂 although what you DO for someone who has INHALED cream soda… I know not… And you weren’t TOO far from the mark on the conversation… but it was more like… Me: Hey! You’re Dave right? Dave: Yes. I am. Me: Like… THE Dave? With the blog? Dave: No. I’m the OTHER Dave. Me: Oh. There’s more than one? Dave: Oh YOU are one of those Blog-people too? Yes… one of the BLOG-PEOPLE! 🙂 That’s me! Wicked meeting you and hanging out. We’ll have to “Hilarisize” another movie sometime! Maybe have a recording device handy next time… 🙂 There were some FUNNY lines thrown out there, I just can’t remember any of them…

  8. Once again a well narrarated story *two thumbs up* Have a great week!!! TTFN:)

  9. My Dave is competitive like that… and I’m not which makes for some silly afternoons of bowling . . . Anyways, LOTRs is fantastic no matter how many times you watch it. What a fun afternoon.

  10. OMG I am such a geek for the lord of the rings. I actually have a collectors edition leather bound with all books included and it has the gates to mordor engraved in the cover….sigh and there have been many pot luck Lord of the rings movie fests over here. One time we actually had a maraton and watched the entire series! I had a great Laugh on the Traffic comment now when I watch the move I will be cracking up during that particular part LOL..oh and BTW I would kill for a Montreal smoked meat sandwich right about now! The only thing I can say about sad events is this : We do not like to go through them, but because we are human and on this planet they are unavoidable. Sometimes we do not know the reason for them, however in the end we come out a better person because of it and better prepared in life as well. I have had many bumps in the road and to many sad times to count, but they made me who I am, and I would never change that. ” it’s dangerous buisness going out your front door, you never know where you are going to end up if you don’t watch your feet ” (who said this? hmmmm……lets see what a fan you are!) hugs kelly

  11. Thanks to everyone for all the kind words. I have told my friend to come read this entry.


    PS: It’s Bilbo.

  12. One of our kids is obsessed with The Lord of the Rings Trilogy and I’ve had to endure watching them many, many times. It’s not as bad as having to watch Shrek and Shrek 2, 3719 times each… but close. Now, every time that scene comes up… I will think of that line. Brilliant! It’s nice to see people can get together and enjoy themselves. You made me wish I lived closer. *s* Q

  13. I’ll send up spirit songs, and good energy for your friend… And thanks for the laugh this morning….you remind me of me in a way *laughing* -I mean the dare thing — I’ve calmed down some in my late 40’s, but, every now and then , esp if someone says, ‘you can’t…’ I do…*laugh* My son sounds like you in the way that he has the high IQ and shoots off his mouth *laugh*….um, well, now that I htink of it–I was always that way too–I mean, I dont’ know about the IQ, but I had a way of opening my mouth and stuff tumbling out that should’ve stayed in–I’ve since learned to keep it in, most all of the time ….or maybe I’ve just learned how to say things by not saying them? *lol*

  14. The eagle is in the mail…. The merchandise is clearing customs… The fat man walks alone… You know what I’m talking about J!

  15. Ian: Operation Canucklehead is a go! Phase 2 successfully initiated. The ice cream by the green moon is full of wonder.
    Kathryn: Thanks for what I will interpret as compliments. 😉

  16. yay ! I have finally met another Lord of the rings geek!!! wahoooo! Kelly

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