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Valentine’s Props

A Valentine’s Tale

This story was originally told to me by one of my psychology profs at University. It is about an exchange between her and her young son, and the result of that exchange. I’m embelleshing the story a little, by fooling around with the format (third person vs. first person).

Some small details might have changed slightly, as I am getting old and my memory is failing, but the bulk of it is spot-on. For the ease of the story we’ll call my prof Mrs. BF and we’ll call her son Danny

Mrs. BF and her husband had friends over every Valentine’s Day. It was an annual ritual that they looked forward to. She was in the kitchen, preparing dinner when her son walked in.

” Hey mom, ” he said.

” Hello, sweetie, ” she replied, ” Is there something I can do for you? “

” Not really, ” smiled the six-year-old tyke.

” Really? ” She looked dubious.

” Well, ” he scuffed his feet together, shy about what he was about to say, ” I was wondering if I could help with stuff? “

Mrs. BF looked surprised. Her eyes softened, and she tousled his hair, ” That’s very sweet, Danny. “

Danny blushed and hugged his mom’s leg.

Mrs. BF looked around the kitchen for something her son could do. She still needed to take care of dinner and set the table. He was too small to handle hot cookware, and a little too clumsy to handle the china, so she decided that she would let him have a very special job.

” Danny, ” she reached over and grabbed the cake that she had baked and iced earlier that afternoon, ” I have a big job for you. “

” Really? ” he looked excited.

” Yes, ” she winked, walking over to the kitchen table and placing the cake down on it. She grabbed a tube of red frosting and helped him up onto the chair, ” I would like you to decorate the cake. “

” Really? ” he looked stunned, ” REALLY, Mom? “

” Yes, ” she smiled, foldly remembering him watching her decorate a birthday cake earlier that year, ” Your writing is much neater now than it used to be, and I think it’s time for you to do some grown-up stuff. “

” That’s so cool! ” he beamed.

” Here you go, ” she gave him the tube.

” Um, ” he scratched his head with his free hand, ” What should I do? “

” Why don’t you write Happy Valentine’s Day? ” she went to the refrigerator and removed one of the cards she had received, placing it on the table next to the cake, ” You can use that as a guide. “

” Wow! Thanks, mom! ” Danny kissed her, and looked at the cake, sizing it up.

Mrs. BF was too busy to supervise the tyke, but she would steal glances as she walked by. She took note of how careful he was writing each letter.

A fair amount of time had gone by, and she saw the word Happy in surprisingly neat, large letters on the cake.

After that, she paid him no mind, allowing him to do his special job, allowing herself to trust him complete his task.

The guests were about to arrive, and she was straightening out the dining room table when she heard him call out from the kitchen.

” Mom, I’m done! ” he sounded very proud, ” Did you want to check it? “

She had her hands full, and didn’t really have time to spare to see his handiwork. She figured she’d enjoy it later.

” No, it’s okay Danny, ” she called, back, ” Just put the lid on it, and we’ll serve it later! “

” Okay, ” he replied.

A few minutes later he came out of the kitchen, all smiles. He ran up to his mom and hugged her.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Company had arrived.

A sumptuous dinner came and went, and Mrs. BF went to the kitchen to fetch the cake that she made and her son decorated.

She brought it out in its container with the opaque lid still on, aiming to maximize her pride in her son by making it a big presentation, and placed it on the table in front of everyone.

” I now present to you the great work of Danny the cake decorator, ” she then lifted the lid off of the cake with a flourish.

There was stunned silence, and then good-natured laughter followed by clapping all around the table.

It seems that Danny had not budgeted his space properly, and the latter part of the message had to be abbreviated…



HAPPY V.D.



Props

I don’t normally give into the commercialism of Valentine’s Day.

I think it’s important to share well-wishes with your loved ones often, and not just on special days.

To that end, here are three haiku for three people I mentioned recently…


To the Blife
You make blogging fun
Keep DC warm for our gang
Don’t hog the blossoms


To the Mife
You rock all kinds, dude
Thanks for your support and your
Eternal friendship


To My Wife
What else can I say?
The world is a better place
With you living here


Love to all,

J

Logan Wins the Fight

Logan Wins the Battle Against Age-Old Nemesis

Asourceiated Press


Toronto – Today, Logan the cat did battle with his greatest enemy – his tail. For years the tail has tormented him. Swishing about tantalizingly this way and that, teasing Logan about how he could never catch such an elusive quarry





Who won the battle of the century?




Logan had attempted to catch his enemy for years, only to be met with failure. It was once thought that he would be forced to run in circles for eternity until he proved everyone wrong by managing to catch the tail unawares in the kitchen early Sunday morning.


In a brilliant move, Logan somersaulted onto his nemesis and held him down. The tail jittered nervously back and forth, trapped beneath the powerful forepaws of the black cat.


Logan swatted the tail a few times, enforcing who was boss. The tail attempted to get away, but Logan managed to flip over onto the runner again, causing the tail to lose hope.


Moping, the tail signed a peace agreement with Logan, vowing to never tease him again.





Logan was introspective after his victory.




The thought on everyone’s mind, though, is that the tail is actually much smarter than Logan, and will most likely violate the terms of the agreement, wreaking havok on Logan’s inadequate mind in the future.

Anybody Want a Cat?

I am posting this on behalf of my good friend Allison. You can click on her name to contact her if you’re serious about wanting Percy. You also can click on the thumbnails below to get a larger view of this handsome devil…



Percy

A very close friend has an elderly family member who is not able to take care of a cat that was recently adopted. He is a very good tempered and loving 4 year old neutered cat named Percy. He does have his claws, and comes with a scratching mat that he loves.

Please pass this along to anyone you might think would be interested in adopting him.

Thanks so much,

Allison



War Labels WTF Heart

Thank You, War Amps!

I lost my keys a few weeks ago.

I was really upset about it. However, yesterday, I got a notice from a courier that I had a package waiting for me at their depot.

Sure enough, when I got there I found my keys waiting for me inside the envelope.

The War Amps of Canada have a great key tag service. Essentially, if someone finds your keys, and they have a War Amps Key Tag on them, the person who found them can drop them in a mailbox and they will be sent to the War Amps office. Then, they will send them to you, free of charge!

We donate to them once in a while, so it was a really great feeling to get those keys back, as it would have cost a bit of moolah to replace some of them.

Thanks, War Amps!

Everyone visiting me should go pay them a visit.

They run a great service!



Labels

I was chatting with Kris on the phone the other day. We both have a thing with nomenclature. Everyone has to fit into some kind of group, if only to make it easier to remember the context of the relationship we have with them.

Observe…

[The scene opens with a phone conversation already in progress.]
Jorge: I wanted to tell Dave, but he wasn’t around.
Kris: You can’t tell me Dave is not your other soul mate.
J: I never said he wasn’t.
K: He’s your other lover.
J: My man wife.
K: That would be your mife.
J: Mife?
K: Yes, your man wife.
J: So if he’s my mife, what would you be? My State-side wife?
K: No. I would be your blife.
J: What’s a blife?
K: Your blog wife.
J: Wicked.
K: Yes.
J: So I have a wife, a mife, and a blife.
K: That’s right, Boo.
J: It’s a good thing I don’t have a karate wife. The short form of that would suck ass.
K: That’s just dirty.


Creating labels can be fun!



WTF, WWF?

I saw a World Wildlife Fund poster in the subway today.

Essentially, it has a picture of a book entitled 2853 Ways To Stop Using Fossil Fuels or some such title. Underneath the picture, it has a paragraph that essentially says something along the lines of it’s just easier to donate to the WWF to do the things you want to but know you can’t.

I’m not really sure I agree with this message.

I support the WWF, of course. I think they do great work.

But one would think that the WWF would want to encourage people to not only donate, but also to take local action.

Am I smoking crack?

If anyone else has seen this poster, I’d like some responses as to what you think.



I Don’t Really Heart Olympics

The winter Olympics are here. Am I the only one that doesn’t care about this?

First of all, I think the Olympics have lost their meaning. I’m sure a long time ago, it was all about the sport.

Now it seems all about the politics.

I also don’t like this whole Canada kicking ass attitude. I’ve always thought our underdog neutrality was charming. It made the wins more meaningful. Now it just seems like cockiness, rather than confidence.

I don’t want anyone to get me wrong, here. I think that our athletes are nothing short of amazing. They work hard (with barely any support from the government) to lay it all on the line at these events. That takes a great deal of courage.

But how appreciated are they on a world-wide scale?

What happens if they fail?

They get shut out into the cold, off to maintain their skills with rigourous training for the next Olympics.

To me the Olympics have become a pissing contest between nations. The proof of this is the fact that you can have mulitple entrants into the same event. Those with the deepest pockets tend to take home the most medals.

Is this really the spirit of the games?

Maybe I have odd, romantic notions of what the games should be like.

Again, feel free to tell me to go to hell for this, if you like.

I may not change my opinion, but I value yours.

The Winds Monster

The Winds of Change

My friend Mike had a wonderful phrase about the winds of change.

He decided to do a graphical representation, sending it out to our normal crew…




I decided to follow up with this sign…




I suppose I should have posted my sign first.



I’ve Created a Monster

On Monday, my wife and I both had a really bad day.

On normal nights, well spend our time together watching TV, talking and sometimes playing a board game.

On rare occasions, we’ll play something relatively tame on the Nintendo GameCube.

I figured that nothing would get our minds off of the day than a bit of mayhem.

So I suggested we play Soul Calibur II.

This is a 3D fighting game involving a variety of weapons. No blood, just animated violence. The basic controls are simple, and yet there is capacity to utilize the interface to do some spectacular movements.

Mrs. Jorge agreed, and so I trained her on how to use the interface.

I have to admit, that after four rounds where I didn’t try very hard to let her win, I soon found myself struggling to stay alive.

She apparently found her favourite character right off the mark, and proceeded to kick seven kinds of shit out of me.

Behold the face of my killer…




That just isn’t right.