Hai-Kuul – March 30, 2006

Atheist’s Gospel (Requested by Philly Cheesesteak)
God does not exist
I hope I am not wrong when
I kick the bucket

Bear and the Squid (Requested by Philly Cheesesteak)
Obscure Kung-Fu style
Taught by an elderly man
Wearing claws and gills

The Evil Snail (Requested by Philly Cheesesteak)
A glistening trail
Shines in the moonlight, left by
The world’s slowest thief

Nice to Meet You, Sagittarian (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Hey there, what’s your sign?
A centaur with a big bow?
Watch where you aim that!

Mignon? (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
You look quite hungry
Would you like to order steak
Wrapped in smoked bacon?

Yep, She’s Got Tang. (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Check out those pouches
My mouth is watering now
Orangey goodness!

*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Leggo My Birthday!

Leggo My Wino

Mrs. J and I headed over to Niagara-On-The-Lake this past weekend.

Niagara-On-The-Lake is a great place to visit because of the many wineries scattered about the region.

We’ve been on several winery tours and even more tastings. It’s an excellent way to spend the weekend.

I don’t normally plug these types of things on here, but there is a particular winery that makes exceptional wine that I just have to mention.

The winery is called Lailey Vineyard. It is a small place located just outside of Niagara-On-The-Lake.

It is run by winemaker Derek Barnett. He is a great guy with an amazing knack for crafting great wines. You need to check this place out, if you are at all interested in wine. I have to say that their Rosé is amazing, even if you are not a Rosé drinker.


A happy belated birthday to Cat. She’s been a bit quiet as of late, but I suspect that sometime soon she will post something awesome (as usual). You can check out her site to see some great posts that she has done in the past.

Also, a happy birthday to Courtney! She is now the ripe old age of 24 today. She posts quite often and always welcomes guests new and old. So go check her site out as well!

Wanted: The Haligonian

For Being Too Cool For His Own Good and For Turning a Year Older Today

Aliases: “Couch Painter”, “Karaoke King”, Zanta-In-Training, The Pied Piper of Blogland, Ian

Seen here in natural state, and in disguise.


Date of Birth: Mar 23, <Year Undisclosed>
Place of Birth: <TOP SECRET>
Height: Tallish
Weight: 10 pounds lighter than you think
Complexion: Lightish
Hair: Brown
Eyes: Blue
Sex: Male
Build: Medium
Race: Well run

He can blend in with any crowd, becoming virtually invisible.

Occupation(s): Various
Nationality: Canadian
Remarks: The Haligonian has ties to Russia, Washington DC, Boston and Toronto. He has fled Blogland, and it is uncertain if he will return. Locating him is not an easy task, as he frequents different pubs and changes his patterns daily. The only common thread is the Guinness that he loves to drink so much.

He is the arsonist of the hearts of women everywhere.


The Haligonian is wanted for allegedly charming the pants off of everyone. He has written some of the best stories and painted such vivid imagery that he has made almost all other blogs pointless to read. He has been causing trouble in Karaoke Bars by trying to bring in his portable keyboard, and he has been seen hanging out with ex-Canadian Idols (Herein known as Canadian Idles).

Seen here in his youth, sowing the seeds of musical destruction he would harvest in his later years…

Considered Armed (With superior diction) and Extremely Dangerous (Awesome dance moves with all the Sweet Hookups)

If you have any information concerning this person, please contact Barking Space as soon as possible.

He employs hi-tech methods of eluding the law…>


Barking Space is offering a reward of up to 2 haiku poems for information leading directly to the capture of The Haligonian.

Pictured here in his political activism uniform…

Happy Birthday, Buddy.

Pimp My Blog

Check Out This Little Number…

Well, I’m not pimping my own blog here. I am pimping a blog belonging to my friend James. He’s a wonderful poet and friend and he’s started building on something I started on here.

In the spirit of stupid spam names*, I have previously written a few scenarios in which the strange names extracted from the headers of spam become colourful characters in various situations…

James has taken this idea and run with it, writing a new scenario about a football team. Go check it out!

* – To understand what I mean, you’ll have to check that link out.

Jorge’s Guide to Toronto – IV

And the Fun Continues…

It has been a little while but I am back with the next chapter in the ongoing guide to the city in which I live.

In this installment, I will make reference to one of the more colourful characters that frequent the streets of Toronto, as well as a breakdown of the major Ukrainian section of the city.

Toronto is a city of the world. A multi-faceted diamond of culture and diversity. Not only do we have a great number of individual ethnic backgrounds, but we also have a plethora of exceptional people that call the city home…


If you’ve ever spent time on our public transit system in T-Dot, then you’ve probably seen a man with no shirt doing pushups while wearing a Santa hat.

That’s right. No shirt. Pushups.

Santa Hat.

His name is Zanta. He is the more muscular, fit version of Santa.

You will see him parading about, in only his jeans, a pair of boots, and his Santa Claus hat. He is an anatomical dynamo, keeping his rock-hard physique by doing an extreme number of pushups ever day.

Indeed, he is a self-proclaimed extreme pushupper, and he will drop and give you twenty in the blink of an eye.

What’s his story? Well, there are many different versions floating about. I have not had the pleasure of speaking with him directly about it. But I know that he loves his daughter, and his quest to make her smile will never end.


Just west of High Park there is an area of Bloor Street West known as Bloor West Village. It stretches from Kennedy Avenue across to the South Kingsway.

It is an area filled with chic stores and great restaurants.

There are a great number of bakeries and delis that have a Ukrainian flair. One could spend a great many days wandering the streets with an unlimited amount of money and still not try every delicacy that the area has to offer.

At the end of every summer, the Ukrainian Festival takes place.

Bloor Street West is closed to traffic between Runnymede Avenue and Jane Street, making way for various kiosks featuring art and cuisine from the Ukraine.

The intixicating smell of perogies wafts through the air, pulling your body in many different directions. Sausages and other delicious grilled foods sizzle over flame. The sound of mirth is all around you.

There are usually several beer tents offering sudsy bevvies to help quench your thirst, rounding out the experience for your mouth.

Just typing this article will lead to me buying a new keyboard not coated in my own dripping saliva just thinking about my culinary experiences at this festival.

Make sure if you are in Toronto that you time your visit to coincide with the Ukrainian Festival. Your mouth will thank you.


  1. Introduction, Italian, Chinese

  2. CN Tower, Portuguese

  3. TTC, Greek

  4. Zanta, Ukrainian