Always Check Your Food
The other day, I was doing some chores and cooking dinner at the same time.
I was cooking a pork chop.
I thought I had finished cooking it, as it was somewhat charred on the outside. Admittedly, our landlady set us up with a new stove and I’m not quite used to it yet, so I thought I had burned the chop but good.
I decided to eat it anyway, slathering rib sauce on it to mask the taste of charcoal.
I would take a bite, do an errand around the house, come back and take another bite, etc.
On the third bite, I realized that it was chewier than normal. I looked at the pork chop and saw that while the outside was charred, the inside was raw.
In my haste to complete some household chores, I neglected to check that the meat I was eating was cooked all the way through.
That was Tuesday night.
Today is Saturday.
I have one word for you…
TOILET
Let this be a lesson. Always make sure you cook your meat properly.
Ugh.
Your Mission, if You Choose to Accept it…
A friend of mine works in a company in the IT department. There are not many of them in this department (two if I understand him correctly).
His departmental accomplice (who we will call Miss X) is an expert in one part of the business while my friend takes care of the rest.
A lot of the time, people are looking for Miss X. They usually ask my friend where she is.
He’s arrived at an impasse for creative answers, so he asked me to appeal to my audience for some suggestions on creative answers.
I had two…
Scenario One
Person asks for Miss X. My friend has a cleverly constructed sock puppet likeness of her. He does an impromptu puppet show to make the person feel awkward.
Scenario Two
Person asks for Miss X. My friend asks the person to wait a sec while he picks up a pen from behind his desk. While down there, he dons a wig (the same colour as Miss X’s hair colour) and applies some makeup. He gets up from behind the desk and proceeds to talk like Miss X, making the person feel awkward.
So, let me know what suggestions you have. He’ll read the comments and I’m sure fun will be had by all. Except, of course for Miss X and her adoring fans.
Filed under: Anecdotes, General Dialogue, Humour, Spaces Archive | 23 Comments »
Barking Space 