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Poetic License

We all would like to think of ourselves as being cool. No one really admits that they think this way, because it seems somewhat self-centred. But the need to be cool is there nonetheless. The problem arises when one person tries to emulate another person’s coolness. This doesn’t always work, as one person’s coolness could be another person’s idiocy.

My friend Dave has come up with a new monday feature which poses questions and has you answer them. This is very cool. Should I do the same?


However, my version of cool will be a section where someone can send me a topic, and I will write a Haiku based on the topic. My friend (and massage therapist) Jess sent me a few yesterday, and I will share them with you…

Topic: Jessica
Jessica is great
She massages my shoulders
No Giraffe-neck, please

Topic: Dog Poo
Smelly coils of brown
Freshly laid in the new snow
Don’t forget to scoop!

Topic: Dubya
There is a proud nation
To the south of our homeland
Led by a moron

This is quality material. You would do well to contribute.

This Blog entry will be permanently embedded in the side for ease of contribution. Leave your requests as a comment.

Diction Shmiction

Have you ever made a mistake whilst typing in MSN Messenger or e-mail?

Don’t you hate how once you click send and the person reads your message that you cannot ever take back that typo?

Well, here at Barking Space, we have a service for you. Just send us your mistakes, and we will invent a definition for you so that it becomes a real word!

For example (taken from a recent MSN Conversation)…

Person: I’m so uncreatice [intended word: uncreative]
Jorge: Uncreatice is a cool new word!
Person: Yes, but what does it mean?
Jorge: Uncreatice – A singularly plain carapace worn on the head.
Person: lol!

No longer will you be stuck with no snappy comebacks. The only problem is that they won’t actually be instant. Instead, they will take a few days. We’re still ironing the bugs out.

Again, this blog entry will be permanently embedded on the side of Barking Space to facilitate contribution. Just leave your request in the comments.

14 Responses

  1. How about “womewhat”?
    (See your entry)

  2. Noted and corrected. I’ll be posting new Haikus and Definitions in clusters, if possible. Keep watching!

  3. Where’s the definition for “womewhat”?!

  4. Would ashats be a good subject for discussion? How about we discuss getting yelled at by the elderly…I can’t be the only person this happens to on a daily basis.

  5. A note:
    I will post the Haikus and Definitions when I am ready to do so.

    As for being yelled at by the elderly, you should consider that a small price to pay for being awesome!

  6. You don’t seriously use the word carapace in conversation! I’m sure you could come up with some interesting definitions for my typos of late! I’ll be waiting.

    Future topic: People Who Stare. I’m not talking about people who just give you the once over, but people who openly & rudely stare for long durations. What’s with that?

  7. “Dubya” is possibly the best Haiku I have ever read. Keep up the good work! 🙂

  8. In response to the Cat:

    “Future topic: People Who Stare. I’m not talking about people who just give you the once over, but people who openly & rudely stare for long durations. What’s with that?”

    Wow. How did you know? When I’m not being yelled at by the elderly, this is something else I have to deal with at the office. Your like a spy in the house of Shellie!

  9. I would like to read a haiku about The Terminator and about Don McLean. Preferrably in the same haiku, but I’ll take what I can get.

  10. I’m sure you’ll have those bugs out in a jiff, and I’ll be waiting with my many hands for that day to come, and storing up all my typos in the meantime.

  11. frick, you’re brilliant man!!! I too hate seeing my typos after i’ve hit ‘publish comment’ and can’t back in!!! makes me insane.

    my only concern with this service is…what about words i’ve made up ON PURPOSE and don’t want them made into a new word? THEN WHAT WILL HAPPEN? the confusion will be widespread! How will we contain the madness!!!??

    oh jeezlueeze (DON’T FIX IT, I WANT IT LIKE THAT), i need a really stiff dink.

    OH SHIT! i meant to type DRINK :D…sorry, i’m working at the shrinks tonight and i kinda turn into one of the crazies whenever i’m here.

  12. Definition for “yoru” please.

  13. Hi Jorge,
    How about a haiku about Poutine?

    Here’s one but I’m sure Le Roi d’haiku can easily top it.

    Canada’s Cuisine
    Food for Gretzky, Lemieux, Orr
    World Domination

  14. typo in a recent msn convo with you:
    AGAGIN (should have been again!)

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