Barking Space

The World is My Oyster

I was walking home from Karate last night, and I was looking for a store that sold cans of soda that weren’t Coke or Pepsi. A confused looking older lady was milling about in front of a used appliance store.

As I approached, she looked up with a look of hope, and I knew that I was going to have to engage in a conversation with her, most likely about something awkward…

OLDER LADY: Um. Hello there.
JORGE: Hi. Is something wrong?
OL: Well, I was wondering if you knew anything about air conditioners.
JORGE: Not really, sorry. [I was actually telling the truth. Other than BTU-to-Square Footage, I don’t really know all that much about them. I do know that I love the one in my office, that I turn on in the evenings to take the edge off the heat in our office and bedroom.]
OL: [Ignores Jorge’s truth.] Great! Well, you see, there is an air conditioner in there that I was interested in buying, but I was worried about Freon, you see.
JORGE: [Acknowledging that there is no way out.] Freon?
OL: Yes. I think the older Freon is bad. At least that’s what they say.
JORGE: Erm. Okay.
OL: But I was wondering if you knew anything about this new Freon.
JORGE: New Freon?
OL: Yes. The lady inside said that the air conditioner had a new type of Freon in it.
JORGE: How old is this air conditioner?
OL: about ten to fifteen years old.
JORGE: And she said that there’s a new type of Freon in there?
OL: Yes.
JORGE: Well, I know that the old Freon was banned from cars, due to the belief that CFCs were contributing to ozone depletion.
OL: What?
JORGE: Um, the old Freon was bad, but I don’t think that the new stuff is called Freon. It is a refrigerant. Again, I really don’t know.
OL: Do you think I should buy it? It’s a good price.
JORGE: I don’t know. How big is your space that you want cooled?
OL: Two hundred and fifty square feet.
JORGE: How many BTUs is the model you want?
OL: Six Thousand.
JORGE: I think that should be just enough.
OL: But I’m worried about the Freon.
JORGE: There are some great sites to look up this type of information on the internet if you’re worried about sales people telling you lies.
OL: I don’t have the internet. I’m retired.
JORGE: I see.
OL: I’m worried about my health. I don’t know what the Freon will do to me.
JORGE: Probably nothing. Unless you plan on drinking it, I think you won’t be feeling the effects that your air conditioner will cause.
OL: So Freon is bad?
JORGE: Again, I don’t think you’d have to worry. I think that your health will be fine. I really don’t know.
OL: Sorry to bug you. I just wanted to make sure that whatever I bought would not cause problems with my health.
JORGE: Sorry I couldn’t be more help.
OL: Oh, that’s ok.
JORGE: Take care.
OL: You too. [She walks away, pulling a cigarette carton out of her purse. She lights up, and walks off.]

What a pointless conversation. Nothing like worrying about catching cold when you have a knife to your lungs. Sheesh.

What Brought You Here?

Here are some of the latest searches that people have used to get to my site…

From: http://www.google.com.au
Ranked #1
“Now take your pig-stick and your boyfriend, and find a bus to catch.”

From: http://www.google.es
Ranked #2
“space de gente skin”

From: http://search.msn.com
Ranked #1
“BoA site:spaces.msn.com”

From: http://search.msn.com
Ranked #1
“drea site:spaces.msn.com”

The first one is too funny. The fact that someone typed the entire Van Damme quote is hilarious. The second one makes no sense to me.

ADDENDUM (Aug 02, 2005): I’ve received several hits for Air Conditioning BTU-to-Square-Footage searches. Here is a site that will help you out: Click Here

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