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Blowing Up the Future Single-Handedly!

The Future is Now

I was chatting with Reay on the phone the other day, letting him know that he should read my friend Cat‘s blog, as she really loves to read his (and has mentioned it in an entry of hers). He was flattered (as he should be, because Cat is cool), and agreed that he would mosey over there with his mouse sometime sooner than later.

He asked how I knew her. And then, immediately added…


“Did you know her Pre-Blog?


This cracked me up. Not that it is a particularly incorrect or silly thing to say. On the contrary, it is highly indicative of the craziness that has taken hold of us. This craziness (which I refer to as futurosity), is a wonderful thing. It is a sign that we are evolving into more intelligent and efficient creatures. It definitely saves some typing, to be sure.

Observe the following more cumbersome way of asking the same question…


Did you know her before she starting writing a Blog?


or


Did you know her before she started writing an online journal to allow people to be updated on the things in her life she feels she could share?


Damn. How annoying.

Three cheers for futurosity!


Napoleon Dynamite (Contains minor spoilers)

I watched this movie last night, and was howling silently (as my wife was sleeping, and I didn’t want to risk unholy wrath). It is a great movie.

At the same time, though, it was somewhat disturbing. I can see bits and pieces of myself in the character of Napoleon. His friend Pedro also reminds me of some of my friends that I had in high school as well. Actually, almost every character in there could be a representative of groups of people that I knew.

Napoleon is in his own world. One of those guys who is so uncool that he is cool (because he doesn’t really give a damn about what anyone else thinks of him). I wasn’t quite like that. I was uncool, and very conscious of it. I ended up coming off as a total geek most of the time, and pretty much fumbling over my own tongue trying to talk my way out of stupid situations.

All through grade school I was the guy that would sit on his own, that the girls would only dance with because they felt pity. And no, I’m not fishing here, this is the truth. I was always the nice guy*. The guy that girls would date to feel better about themselves. There is a part of the movie where Napoleon goes to the school dance with someone and she essentially leaves him just as they enter to hang out with her friends. I’ve felt the stinging bitterness of that very act.

It’s rare that a movie will make me uncomfortable about myself (discomfort in general – thrillers and horrors – a different feeling). At the same time, though, I hope that I have outgrown at least some of those traits. I mean, my wife is hot, so I must be doing something right!

Plus I feel a lot more confident in myself these days. You would find it hard to believe that I consider myself to be a shy person.

Crazy. This got a lot heavier than I intended. Ah well.

If you are comfortable with possibly facing some of your own demons, watch this movie. It is hilarious.




* Actually, that has sort of been one of the recurring themes in my life. Even my Capoeira nickname is gente-boa which can essentially be translated as “Nice Guy”. Mind you, I have had my moments of being a complete jackass, so the title may not be that appropriate.

Fig-tionary – March 21, 2005

amazong (Typo from Jorge on the weekend)

  1. Function: adjective – So remarkable as to elicit disbelief in someone’s amazon powers – Usage: Jorge’s ability to wear a Wonder Woman costume is amazong.


futurosity (Jorge plans to use this in an entry real soon)

  1. Function: noun – a futuristic attitude – taking on a futuristic characteristic to compensate for current societal shortcomings – Usage: Shatton, in his frustration with the lack of speed of communication, employed futurosity in his website to enhance efficiency.




*Remember, you can submit a request for a crazy definition for a typo by clicking here. You can read about the Fig-tionary here.

Hai-kuul – March 18, 2005

Poutine (Suggested by Ian)
Artery Clogging
Tates, Curd and Gravy Goodness
A Canuck Staple


It’s its own food group
A Québecois fantasy
Oops! There goes my health!


How oft do you see
A snack that goes down so well
Yet leaves so slowly?





*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Fig-tionary

yoru (suggested by Tien based upon a Jorge typo)

  1. Function: adjective – of or relating to you or yourself or yourselves as possessor or possessors of powerful Norse objects – Usage: How is yoru new hammer working out, Thor?
  2. Function – adjective – of or relating to one or oneself as a Norse deity – Usage: Jorge said to Thor, “I think Mjolnr is sitting on the table to yoru right, buddy. “
  3. Function – adjective – used with little or no meaning as a substitution for the, but only for Norse gods and Danish people – Usage: Reay is not yoru average Joe.




*Remember, you can submit a request for a crazy definition for a typo by clicking here. You can read about the Fig-tionary here.

Waterloo Visit and a WHAT?

A Man Among Giants

Yesterday I visited my friends in Waterloo. I don’t get to do this that often, due to the fact that I usually have events booked 2 months in advance (no, I am not kidding about this – it’s a side effect of marriage). I miss my friends in Waterloo. When we went to University together, they served to inspire me, and were a comfort. I don’t know how much of this that they know, but perhaps now they will. The lot of them are too smart for words. Indivudually any one of them could take away Ben Stein’s money in an instant. Put them together, however, and light starts to bend around the house for some reason, and teacups begin to levitate in the kitchen.

In attendance were:


Bloggers


Blogless

  • Nath
  • Zac
  • Fiona
  • Zoë


It started out simple enough. I played with Zoë’s Etch-a-Sketch (I drew a duck with a small duck on it’s head. The big duck was wearing an airline jet strapped to its back – perfectly normal art) and we just hung out and talked. Nath made an AMAZING lunch (this is not a surprise with Nath), and we had a grand old time. Then Zac and Fiona showed up.

I knew that things were starting to go downhill when Fiona began spelling her name with Greek letters. No child under 10 should be allowed to use Greek letters. On top of that, no one should be allowed to use them at all, unless they are in a mathematical equation or on a Frat House.

Dave has a theory for moments like this. He believes that when really smart people are around us not-so-smart people we lose intelligence. I call it the “gravity of intelligence theory”. Think of intelligence as a bunch of molecules in your brain. They move around when you have ideas. Mine are generally slacking off in the corner, yawning and probably doing drugs. Then take Fiona, a bright child who I am convinced is actually a 500 year old elf, whose molecules move around her brain at the speed of light. She also has a brain packed tightly FULL of molecules. These molecules are so plentiful, that her skull can’t hold anymore. So they attach themselves to her hair. Her hair goes all the way down her back past her waist. Because of the density of her intelligence, it creates a graviational pull which steals my loosely-packed, slow moving intelligence. These errant molecules attach themselves to her hair. I am convinced that her hair actually grew an inch while I was there.

Shortly after that Elbie, Ecogrrl and clvrmnky arrived.

The rest of the time was spent with us being geeky and talking about geeky things while the kids and cats were running around being cute. I think a highlight of the afternoon was when Zac made himself into a climbing gym for Fiona, and Dr. Thingo and Zoë teamed up on Fiona in a tickling match.

Nath’s carrot cake was awesome too.

Oh yeah, and I am afraid of the second floor toilet that flushes for eternity and makes you cry as the water level keeps rising and rising…

I had a great time hanging around my old friends, even though I lost half of half my brain to Fiona’s mane.

I had to get out of there before I lost the brain cells that are tied to my ability to drink alcohol.



Why Don’t You Get a Key Then?

After Waterloo, I visited Shatton in his new place. Aggies was there, so I got to actually meet him for the first time in real life. You see, I’ve been playing online games with Aggies for something like six months now. It’s amazing how can know someone without ever really meeting them.

Shatton and his wife are moving in together into an apartment in B-Dot. It’s pretty nice. The building is very well maintained, and it doesn’t smell like industrial cleaners or old carpet. Shatton has a pretty nice living space, and I think it will serve them well in the interim until Leslie gets settled.

Shatton offered me some spicy meat (boy that sounds bad), and I agreed. He opened his kitchen cupboard, and it was pretty much bare. He pulled out a small plate (a saucer, I think), and I had my meat on there. I laughed at his lack of eating utensils. To be fair, Leslie will be contributing the bulk of the dinnerware, but Shatton still has to wait for a month. The time will fly quickly, though, and then she will be up here, rolling her eyes at him in person just like Mrs. J rolls her eyes at me (actually, I think everyone rolls their eyes at me).

We hung out and watched a funny episode of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast as well as SeaLab 2021. Those two find them really funny because if the writing. I find them funny not only just for the weird and twisted humour in the writing, but also because they are just redubbed episodes of cartoons I used to watch when I was a kid. It’s amazing how people are creating new ideas from old staples.

We then played Lego Star Wars (on the PC, which is AMAZING), and I scooted back home for some Sushi.



Fig-WHAT-raphy?

I am trying to create a more professional looking photography site for myself. There is a show coming up in May and I am exhibiting some of my work.

Please click on the Figtography link and let me know what you think!

If you are on dial-up, I apologize.