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Fig-tionary – April 21, 2005

Brian has requested a definition for a word, but we must first go back to the root of that word…


soudn (Provided by Jorge)

  1. Function: noun – A particularly harsh, full auditory impression. A broken sound – Usage: When fine china falls off the table it makes a horrible soudn.


resoudning (Requested by Brian R)

  1. Function: adjective – Characterized by resonant soudn – Usage: What a resoudning racket that fine china made when it hit the floor!




*Remember, you can submit a request for a crazy definition for a typo by clicking here. You can read about the Fig-tionary here.

Hai-Kuul – April 20, 2005

Blogo (Requested by mapleleafkideh)
There is a strange game
Played by MSN Bloggers
I don’t quite get it


Obsession (Requested by bbyGrrl)
A dangerous thing
Wanting something so badly
It’s beyond reason


Stalking (Requested by bbyGrrl)
Following Someone
Changing celery’s structure
Climbing to giants


Wanting (Requested by bbyGrrl)
See that object there?
I must have it for myself
I’ll pay any price


Wishing (Requested by bbyGrrl)
Wishing upon stars
Doesn’t really do that much
For a bad headache


Overweight Antelopes (Requested by Jay)
Lounging in the grass
Chewing on Vegetation
Not giving a damn


Pineapple Tidbits (Requested by Jay)
Handy for cooking
These beauties come in syrup
Not quite natural


The Number Nine (Requested by Jay)
Nestled betwixt eight
And ten. Stealing the spotlight
Nine is a damned tart


Inverted Eyelashes That Poke You In the Cornea (Requested by Jay)
Just walking along
Suddenly a flash of pain
Stupid Eyelashes!





*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Fig-tionary – April 20, 2005

sok (Requested by Tien)

  1. Function: noun – A sharp resounding noise (as of a hard impact to the face). Comic book sound effect – Usage: Sok! Tien punched Jorge in the face!




*Remember, you can submit a request for a crazy definition for a typo by clicking here. You can read about the Fig-tionary here.

Hai-Kuul – April 19, 2005

The Challenge Continues…

Drea sent me several requests, but a couple of them are ambiguous, so I will do my best. The first was Casper and Cobwebs, but I am not sure if she wanted those separately or not, so I will do one of the words together and one for each word. That makes three (for the math-impaired).


Casper and Cobwebs (Requested by Drea)
Casper and cobwebs
Casper is intangible
The cobwebs are not


Casper (Requested by Drea)
Casper is a ghost
Most people say he’s friendly
He’s really a jerk


Cobwebs (Requested by Drea)
You’ll find them inside
In all the basement corners
Clean your house, wanker!


This one is self explanatory, if not a little disturbing…


Drunk Tank (Requested by Drea)
People who drink lots
Will usually find that
Jail really does suck


This one has two interpretations, so…


The Rock (Requested by Drea)
There is a large man
Who likes to wrestle a lot
His eyebrows are weird


The Rock (Requested by Drea)
One must travel out
To Canada’s Eastern coast
To see where God lives


A new contributor…


April Showers (Requested by Krista)
April Showers is
What brings may flowers, they say
Well, they can eat me


Spending Too Much Money At the Bar (Requested by Krista)
Sometimes one’s money
Disappears far too quickly
Sirosis ain’t cheap


Bad Job Interviews (Requested by Krista)
Great resume? Check
Fulfill critera? Check
Wearing no pants? Shit




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Sleeping is Realistic

Sleep Has Never Been So Easy to Not Get!

I spent this last Friday night and most of Saturday in a sleep clinic. It was much better than the last time, as I actually had a decent night’s sleep this past Friday night. The last time I was there was my first time, and I wasn’t used to the wires and straps they attached to me, so I had a very restless sleep.

This time was much better, as I was pretty tired to begin with, and controlled the schedule as much as I could to make sure I fell asleep as close to my normal time as possible.

The other great thing was that Mrs. J spent the day with me on Saturday, which was nice. There were four periods consisting of a half hour where I had to sit alone, in a dark room to see if I could stay awake.

That sucked.

But the rest of the time was spent watching television, or playing games. It was nice.

Three cheers for my wife!



You Call That Realistic?

I have a love of animation.

It is a pure kind of love. Not the dirty kind. Not the kind that Dave has for the Barenaked Ladies.

Animation is great because you are removing the risk of injuring people in filming of stunts. Not to mention that animation allows for a more seamless interface between people and backgrounds.

What do I mean by this? Well, let’s take Blade Trinity, for instance. A lot of the background was obviously computer generated. This goes beyond the fact that we know certain things cannot exist in our world (or can they?). The problem is that in some instances, the CGI is almost too realistic. Look at The Phantom Menace and let me know what planet would be as clean as Naboo. Seriously.

I am referring to genres like science fiction and fantasy, of course. Drama and comedy are a little different (although these have been effectively done in animation as well).

In terms of anime, movies like Ghost in the Shell or Princess Mononoke are incredible. Both have a great plot and incredible character depth.

In the end, that’s what it’s all about. You can have the most beautifully filmed movie with the best actors. But if the writing is akin to manure, then you are pretty much wasting your money on drivel.

The downside to anime is that it can be quite graphic, and the wardrobe of some of the characters is very odd. Once you get over that, it’s pretty amazing what you’ll find.

My recommendation for newcomers to anime is Blood: The Last Vampire. Perhaps not the most realistic sounding title, but it’s an exquisitely crafted adventure, and has some of the best character development and plots that I have seen in full length feature films. The animation is also amazing. Considering the piece is less than 50m in length, that’s pretty impressive!

Try some anime today! I’ll be reviewing anime movies and shows on here in the near future. I’ll also be focusing on some North American fare as well.