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Fig-tionary

yoru (suggested by Tien based upon a Jorge typo)

  1. Function: adjective – of or relating to you or yourself or yourselves as possessor or possessors of powerful Norse objects – Usage: How is yoru new hammer working out, Thor?
  2. Function – adjective – of or relating to one or oneself as a Norse deity – Usage: Jorge said to Thor, “I think Mjolnr is sitting on the table to yoru right, buddy. “
  3. Function – adjective – used with little or no meaning as a substitution for the, but only for Norse gods and Danish people – Usage: Reay is not yoru average Joe.




*Remember, you can submit a request for a crazy definition for a typo by clicking here. You can read about the Fig-tionary here.

Waterloo Visit and a WHAT?

A Man Among Giants

Yesterday I visited my friends in Waterloo. I don’t get to do this that often, due to the fact that I usually have events booked 2 months in advance (no, I am not kidding about this – it’s a side effect of marriage). I miss my friends in Waterloo. When we went to University together, they served to inspire me, and were a comfort. I don’t know how much of this that they know, but perhaps now they will. The lot of them are too smart for words. Indivudually any one of them could take away Ben Stein’s money in an instant. Put them together, however, and light starts to bend around the house for some reason, and teacups begin to levitate in the kitchen.

In attendance were:


Bloggers


Blogless

  • Nath
  • Zac
  • Fiona
  • Zoë


It started out simple enough. I played with Zoë’s Etch-a-Sketch (I drew a duck with a small duck on it’s head. The big duck was wearing an airline jet strapped to its back – perfectly normal art) and we just hung out and talked. Nath made an AMAZING lunch (this is not a surprise with Nath), and we had a grand old time. Then Zac and Fiona showed up.

I knew that things were starting to go downhill when Fiona began spelling her name with Greek letters. No child under 10 should be allowed to use Greek letters. On top of that, no one should be allowed to use them at all, unless they are in a mathematical equation or on a Frat House.

Dave has a theory for moments like this. He believes that when really smart people are around us not-so-smart people we lose intelligence. I call it the “gravity of intelligence theory”. Think of intelligence as a bunch of molecules in your brain. They move around when you have ideas. Mine are generally slacking off in the corner, yawning and probably doing drugs. Then take Fiona, a bright child who I am convinced is actually a 500 year old elf, whose molecules move around her brain at the speed of light. She also has a brain packed tightly FULL of molecules. These molecules are so plentiful, that her skull can’t hold anymore. So they attach themselves to her hair. Her hair goes all the way down her back past her waist. Because of the density of her intelligence, it creates a graviational pull which steals my loosely-packed, slow moving intelligence. These errant molecules attach themselves to her hair. I am convinced that her hair actually grew an inch while I was there.

Shortly after that Elbie, Ecogrrl and clvrmnky arrived.

The rest of the time was spent with us being geeky and talking about geeky things while the kids and cats were running around being cute. I think a highlight of the afternoon was when Zac made himself into a climbing gym for Fiona, and Dr. Thingo and Zoë teamed up on Fiona in a tickling match.

Nath’s carrot cake was awesome too.

Oh yeah, and I am afraid of the second floor toilet that flushes for eternity and makes you cry as the water level keeps rising and rising…

I had a great time hanging around my old friends, even though I lost half of half my brain to Fiona’s mane.

I had to get out of there before I lost the brain cells that are tied to my ability to drink alcohol.



Why Don’t You Get a Key Then?

After Waterloo, I visited Shatton in his new place. Aggies was there, so I got to actually meet him for the first time in real life. You see, I’ve been playing online games with Aggies for something like six months now. It’s amazing how can know someone without ever really meeting them.

Shatton and his wife are moving in together into an apartment in B-Dot. It’s pretty nice. The building is very well maintained, and it doesn’t smell like industrial cleaners or old carpet. Shatton has a pretty nice living space, and I think it will serve them well in the interim until Leslie gets settled.

Shatton offered me some spicy meat (boy that sounds bad), and I agreed. He opened his kitchen cupboard, and it was pretty much bare. He pulled out a small plate (a saucer, I think), and I had my meat on there. I laughed at his lack of eating utensils. To be fair, Leslie will be contributing the bulk of the dinnerware, but Shatton still has to wait for a month. The time will fly quickly, though, and then she will be up here, rolling her eyes at him in person just like Mrs. J rolls her eyes at me (actually, I think everyone rolls their eyes at me).

We hung out and watched a funny episode of Space Ghost: Coast to Coast as well as SeaLab 2021. Those two find them really funny because if the writing. I find them funny not only just for the weird and twisted humour in the writing, but also because they are just redubbed episodes of cartoons I used to watch when I was a kid. It’s amazing how people are creating new ideas from old staples.

We then played Lego Star Wars (on the PC, which is AMAZING), and I scooted back home for some Sushi.



Fig-WHAT-raphy?

I am trying to create a more professional looking photography site for myself. There is a show coming up in May and I am exhibiting some of my work.

Please click on the Figtography link and let me know what you think!

If you are on dial-up, I apologize.

Hai-Kuul – March 11, 2005

Being Yelled at By the Elderly (Suggested by Shellie)
Old folks sitting there
Yelling as I walk past them
Keep your dentures in!


People Who Stare (Suggested by Cat)
What do you want, jerk?
Your eyes never move away!
You want some of this?!!?!?


Jay (Just because)
Every day she blogs
And makes us all look like dinks
She types way more stuff


Terminator (Suggested by Dave)
He’s made of metal
Sent back from Connor’s Future
He has such bad hair


Don McLean (Suggested by Dave)
A song that kicked ass
And today it still does, too!
Musical Genius


Terminator and Don McLean (Suggested by Dave)
Sent from the future
To write meaningful lyrics
And kill people, too


American Pie (Just Because)
Dave‘s Dad is funny
Even though his name is Don
Guess the right song, man!





*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Fig-tionary – March 11, 2005

womewhat (suggested by Tien based on a Jorge typo)

  1. Function: pronoun – Something to do with women – Usage: That guy is womewhat whipped.
  2. Function: adverb – in some degree or measure in relation to women – Usage: Those pants are womewhat pink.
  3. Function: percussive nonsense word – A substitution to be used for ‘wimoweh’ in the background of The Lion Sleeps Tonight (Originally titled Mbube by Solomon Linda)


ashat (inadvertently contributed by Shellie)

  1. Function: adverb – In the fashion of a hat. Dressed as a hat – Usage: They showed up to the party ashat.




*Remember, you can submit a request for a crazy definition for a typo by clicking here. You can read about the Fig-tionary here.

New Features

Poetic License

We all would like to think of ourselves as being cool. No one really admits that they think this way, because it seems somewhat self-centred. But the need to be cool is there nonetheless. The problem arises when one person tries to emulate another person’s coolness. This doesn’t always work, as one person’s coolness could be another person’s idiocy.

My friend Dave has come up with a new monday feature which poses questions and has you answer them. This is very cool. Should I do the same?

No.

However, my version of cool will be a section where someone can send me a topic, and I will write a Haiku based on the topic. My friend (and massage therapist) Jess sent me a few yesterday, and I will share them with you…



Topic: Jessica
Jessica is great
She massages my shoulders
No Giraffe-neck, please


Topic: Dog Poo
Smelly coils of brown
Freshly laid in the new snow
Don’t forget to scoop!


Topic: Dubya
There is a proud nation
To the south of our homeland
Led by a moron




This is quality material. You would do well to contribute.

This Blog entry will be permanently embedded in the side for ease of contribution. Leave your requests as a comment.



Diction Shmiction

Have you ever made a mistake whilst typing in MSN Messenger or e-mail?

Don’t you hate how once you click send and the person reads your message that you cannot ever take back that typo?

Well, here at Barking Space, we have a service for you. Just send us your mistakes, and we will invent a definition for you so that it becomes a real word!

For example (taken from a recent MSN Conversation)…


Person: I’m so uncreatice [intended word: uncreative]
Jorge: Uncreatice is a cool new word!
Person: Yes, but what does it mean?
Jorge: Uncreatice – A singularly plain carapace worn on the head.
Person: lol!


No longer will you be stuck with no snappy comebacks. The only problem is that they won’t actually be instant. Instead, they will take a few days. We’re still ironing the bugs out.

Again, this blog entry will be permanently embedded on the side of Barking Space to facilitate contribution. Just leave your request in the comments.