Something Happened Cryptic

Something to Think About

A few days ago, I posted the following item…


When does 1×1=3?


Some people got it. Some people didn’t.

Surprisingly, it was my friends in positions requiring immense amounts of brain power that took the longest to get it.



What Happened?

Shortly after I posted it, I had to take it down. It revealed too much about something that we needed to tell a few people in person (or on the phone) before it became public.

Apologies to those who commented already and found their comments deleted. Also, some of the people who figured out the answer were worried when I took it down. I assure you everything is fine.



Why Are You So Cryptic?

Deal with it. And to that end, here is a joke that answers the original cryptic question…


What does Jorge say when someone grabs Mrs. Jorge’s Arm?

Leggo my preggo!


Now it shouldn’t be hard for anyone to figure out what I meant.

The Real World Auction

The Real World

I was riding the subway to work this morning, and ended up standing by two girls who were most likely in their second year of university.

Some of what they were saying was refreshing. One girl was obviously trying to appear more worldy than she was though. Can’t fault her for that as we’ve all fallen into that bit at least once in our lives.

My favourite line, though, was when one of the girls started talking about how stupid she thought high school was…


Girl 1: I love University life.
Girl 2: Yeah. Me too.
G1: It’s so different from high school. People are so much friendlier.
G2: Totally.
G1: I’m glad I will never have to go through the high school experience again.
G2: Yeah?
G1: I mean, you wake up. You go to school. You work all day. You go home. Sometimes you do work there. Then you go to bed. And then you repeat.
G2: Tell me about it. University and everything after is totally different.


Er…

I must still be in high school.



Auction Time!

My friend Beth is auctioning off something unique on e-bay.

If you have a heart (or $14.34 extra lying around) go bid!

Click here to see what the buzz is about.

Respect All Grown Up

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

I was in the subway recently, making my way across the city to help a friend move to her new place, when I witnessed this exchange on the subway…


[Two girls in their mid teens are sitting on one side of the car. An older lady abruptly shuffles over from another part of the car for no reason and sits across from these two young gals.]
Girl 1: [Eyes the tote bag that the lady is carrying with obvious admiration.] Is that bag homemade? Did you make it?
Crotchety Old Lady: [Sneering.] What do you think?
[This abrupty ends the conversation. The train arrives at the next stop, and the older lady shuffles out.]
Girl 2: What was that all about?
Girl 1: I don’t know. All I asked was if she made that bag, it was cool. And she was all, like [Makes grouchy face and hand gestures (not unlike claws).] to me.
Girl 2: Weird.
Girl 1: Yeah. I don’t know why I bother being respectful to older people. I’m pretty tired of having so much respect for everybody.


That sucked for Girl 1, eh?

Of course, Girl 1 was sitting sideways across three seats with her dirty shoes up on the last seat.

Respectful my ass.



All Grown Up

It’s pretty much official.

Mrs. J and I are now proud card-carrying home owners.

As we handed our deposit cheque to the agent, I realize that the word owners begins with OW.

How appropriate.



Check out our new crib.
Click to enlarge…


Seriously, it’s a nice little bungalow in a nice neighbourhood.

I’m pretty happy about it.

However, anyone that wishes to give me money to pay down this little nest can feel free.

Today is Awesome

Why?

Because four years ago today I married Mrs. J.

See here for the vows.

I’d write more today, but so much has happened in the last 24 hours that I feel entitled to some laziness.

Wanted: D

For being the best brutha from anotha mutha anyone could want.

Aliases: “Dave”, “D-Mac”, “Man-A-Tee”, “Davey”, “Innatub”, Dave




Seen here in various states of disguise. Note the nice rack.
Click to enlarge…



Description

Date of Birth: September 12, <Aught Seventy Five Plus Nineteen Hundred>
Place of Birth: <Some Party Somewhere>
Height: Tall Enough
Weight: Yes
Complexion: Pale as freshly fallen snow
Hair: Brownish, like freshly fallen…er…
Eyes: Blue
Sex: Male
Build: Lego
Race: Former Bay St Rat




After what became known as the Skewer
Incident
, things would never be the same.
Click to enlarge…


Occupation(s): 46-Year-Old Researcher
Nationality: Canadian
Remarks: D has ties to Georgetown, Windsor Toronto and Newfoundland. He started his blog at the end of 2004 and has kept everyone in stitches since. It’s all part of his devious plan to render everyone helpless so that he might make off with their Jägermeister and cookies. With a penchant for what the French call le fun-nay, he wins the hearts of people everywhere, before making off with their goodies.




Ladies man. Man’s man.
Click to enlarge…



Caution

Dave is wanted for having far too much wit for one person, as well as kick-ass parties at his parents house when we were younger. He is notorious for upholding the proper definition of the word irony (sometimes violently) and has been known to edit excellent online literary magazines. His sense of adventure and his try anything once attitude make him a risk to national security. He is resourceful, sometimes disguising himself in strange roles in plays and as the devil’s advocate in most arguments.




Seen here in his youth, honing his card trick skillz.
Click to enlarge…



Considered Armed (with superior grammar) and Extremely Dangerous (ability to carve totems that can change the course of a weekend’s beautiful weather to gales from hell).



Spreading Christmas cheer.
A little too well.
Click to enlarge…


If you have any information concerning this person, please contact Barking Space as soon as possible.




Dave and his
come hither lips™.
Click to enlarge…



Reward

Barking Space is offering a reward of up to 5 haiku poems for information leading directly to the capture of D.




Even in his former days, he
cut a fine figure.
Click to enlarge…



Happy Birthday, my friend.

Did Somebody Call 9/11?

Around five years ago, something happened that has caused me to question the nature of our species.

The cause of the questions and the answers may not be as obvious as you think.


My heart goes out to all people and their families – not just those from New York – who have needlessly lost their lives in the name of something other than freedom.

Birthday Wishes

Birthday, You Say?

That’s right.

Today is my Mom’s birthday. Share some lovin’ in the comments section if you wish…



Me. Chillin’ with Mom. This
particular trick is much harder
to do now that I weigh 225 lbs.
Click to enlarge…




Happy Birthday Mom!


Love, J