Wanted: D

For being the best brutha from anotha mutha anyone could want.

Aliases: “Dave”, “D-Mac”, “Man-A-Tee”, “Davey”, “Innatub”, Dave

Seen here in various states of disguise. Note the nice rack.
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Date of Birth: September 12, <Aught Seventy Five Plus Nineteen Hundred>
Place of Birth: <Some Party Somewhere>
Height: Tall Enough
Weight: Yes
Complexion: Pale as freshly fallen snow
Hair: Brownish, like freshly fallen…er…
Eyes: Blue
Sex: Male
Build: Lego
Race: Former Bay St Rat

After what became known as the Skewer
, things would never be the same.
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Occupation(s): 46-Year-Old Researcher
Nationality: Canadian
Remarks: D has ties to Georgetown, Windsor Toronto and Newfoundland. He started his blog at the end of 2004 and has kept everyone in stitches since. It’s all part of his devious plan to render everyone helpless so that he might make off with their Jägermeister and cookies. With a penchant for what the French call le fun-nay, he wins the hearts of people everywhere, before making off with their goodies.

Ladies man. Man’s man.
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Dave is wanted for having far too much wit for one person, as well as kick-ass parties at his parents house when we were younger. He is notorious for upholding the proper definition of the word irony (sometimes violently) and has been known to edit excellent online literary magazines. His sense of adventure and his try anything once attitude make him a risk to national security. He is resourceful, sometimes disguising himself in strange roles in plays and as the devil’s advocate in most arguments.

Seen here in his youth, honing his card trick skillz.
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Considered Armed (with superior grammar) and Extremely Dangerous (ability to carve totems that can change the course of a weekend’s beautiful weather to gales from hell).

Spreading Christmas cheer.
A little too well.
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If you have any information concerning this person, please contact Barking Space as soon as possible.

Dave and his
come hither lips™.
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Barking Space is offering a reward of up to 5 haiku poems for information leading directly to the capture of D.

Even in his former days, he
cut a fine figure.
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Happy Birthday, my friend.