Another Heart Window Nut

Another Photo Exhibition

The Salvador Darling show is closing today. I’ll be heading over there this evening to take down the photos from the walls, only to send new ones along to Sunnyside Sundays (Portugal Pavilion).

It takes place on Sunday, August 21. It should be a great day.

The only unfortunate part is that I won’t be present, but there will be all kinds of vendors and fun. Check it out if you can!

One day only.



Gorilla My Heart

I love the Toronto Zoo. I realize that not everyone agrees with the concept of a zoo, but in my opinion there are some Zoos that do great work for conservation and preservation of species, and the Toronto Zoo is one of them.

One of my favourite exhibits is the Gorilla exhibit. I’m not sure if it’s their grace, or strength that draws me to them. Perhaps the similarities between us and them make it more fascinating? Either way, a trip to the zoo would not be complete without visiting my lowland brethren.

Today, I will tell you two tales of why Gorillas are better than people.

You will be amazed…



The Window

Before the Gorillas got their new spiffy environment at the Zoo, they had a relatively plain one. There was an outdoor component, and an indoor one (these were visible to the zoo patrons).

The outdoor component has all kinds of ladders and ropes and things for the Gorillas to use for exercise, and the inside was essentially a large space with various open-concept rooms. The visitors were separated from the Gorillas by a thick layer of clear Plexiglas, so that observation of the Gorillas would be unhindered.

On this particular day, the Gorillas were inside, as the weather was quite hot and humid and inside was much cooler. Consequently, a lot more people were inside than usual as well.

There was a crowd along the Plexiglas wall about five people deep. The line closest to the Plexiglas window was made up mostly of kids, but there were also some older teenagers and young guys.

The older boys were leaning right up to the glass, making faces (which was entertaining for all of us, I’m sure, including the Gorillas).

Given the number of people, things were surprisingly calm. Charles (the patriarch of the Gorillas), was sitting near one of the females, who was watching her baby playing in the soft straw of the enclosure floor. The other females were also close by, and there were two adolescent males goofing around with some of the toys and stealing glances at the face-makers.

The problem started when some of those older boys started smacking the glass.

This caused the baby to jump a little and irritated the adolescent males.

Charles looked around and appeared to be communicating with the young male gorillas. When he spoke, they would calm down slightly.

However, this did no good when the teenagers started smacking the glass hard, over and over.

Some of the kids in the front row were getting nervous as the young male gorillas started pacing close to the Plexiglas. The teens kept pounding.

Suddenly, one of the adolescents smacked the wall as a reply, shaking the Plexiglas. There is no doubt in my mind that the barrier would hold, but I’m sure it ruffled a few feathers in the crowd.

Given the level of response, you would have thought that the humans would quit pounding on the glass, but they kept going.

Soon the baby gorilla became upset and made an awful wailing noise.

At this point Charles got up (you have to realize that this guy is huge), picked up the baby Gorilla and nestled him to his torso to protect him. He then made a sharp hissing noise to the other Gorillas, and motioned to the door to the outer enclosure. The rest of the Gorillas followed him out, heads bowed.

The humans, in the mean time, were still making whooping noises and pounding on the glass.

Now think about this picture for a moment, and you tell me who the real animals are…

Gorillas: 1 Humans: 0



Charles and The Nut Thrower

I used to go to the Zoo a lot more than I do now. I used to be a member, which was more cost effective than paying admission several times a year.

One thing about zoos that really bug me is that there are a lot of stupid people. Among my favourites are…

  • Girls who insist on wearing clubbing clothes to the zoo
  • Guys who go there to cruise for chicks
  • People who don’t pay attention to where they are going
  • People who think feeding the geese and birds is a good thing


The most annoying person of all, though, is the nut thrower.

I was standing at the barrier of the outdoor enclosure watching Charles chill in the shade.

Picture a rather large (obese) man, with Weird Al Yankovic‘s Hair and moustache, a really big baseball cap, and an ugly Hawaiian shirt draped over his torn jean shorts. He was loud and obnoxious. He essentially shoved his way up to the enclosure and started telling people how stupid and slow Gorillas were.

This guy had a bag of peanuts and he was throwing them at Charles (the head Gorilla). The peanuts were flying all over, as this guy didn’t have the greatest coordination. The ones that actually hit Charles would just harmlessly bounce off of his furry hide, apparently doing no harm.

Even so, it was quite annoying…


See how stupid he is? He’s just letting me throw shit at him. Hahaha. This is hilarious.


Did I say annoying? I would also like to add embarrassing!

I was about to say something when Charles himself silenced the perpetrator with a simple action.

Peanut guy wound up and whipped a peanut that was going right for Charles’ face. It’s as if the world stood still except for that peanut. People gasped that the guy would throw it so hard.

But it was nothing to Charles.

Quick as a flash he caught the peanut between his strong thumb and forefinger and slowly looked up at the obnoxious man. Meeting his gaze, Charles then crushed the peanut into dust.

The peanut thrower became visibly shaken, and dropped his bag of peanuts as he backed away very quickly and took off.

Charles then collected the peanuts around him into a pile, put them on his belly and enjoyed the rest of his day.

Gorillas: 2 Humans: 0


Conclusion? Humans can be jackasses.

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17 Responses

  1. Hahaha. That guy was such an ass throwing peanuts at Charles the gorilla. I thought you were going to say that Charles threw a peanut right back at the guy. Now that would have been hilarious.

  2. A) I love the zoo, I went for the first time this summer, I had a fantastic time.
    B) I saw the clubbing outfits….what are these girls thinking? ( I was beginning to think I was under dressed in my jeans, tank top and sweater. I thought I missed the “dress like a hooch” memo that went out to the patrons of the Metro Toronto Zoo.
    C) These guys that go looking for girls at the zoo…nothing more than primates. Think about that for a minute. (These ones should be lesser on the chain though, and they should be throwing poo at each other, and the hoochie girls)
    D) I am outspoken enough that I would have said something to Weird Al’s fat twin. The fact that Charles proved him wrong on his own is fantastic.
    E) Would have said something to the obnoxious kids too…they belong with the poo throwing species.
    F) People are sometimes drivelling imbiciles. They are pretentious, and need attention no matter what the cost. It seems that despite positive reinforcement for the good things, and negative for the bad things, they continue to go toward the negative at least Pavlov’s dogs learned faster! This is not to say that all people are like this…just a select few, the “jackasses” that you speak of. These are the jackasses that should be put on display at the Zoo, naked with their whole family inside with them, and then, let them have no form of communication that the average human would understand. Let them grunt, let their babies be terrified by the hairier form of themselves. Let’s see what that accomplishes. I agree. People are jackasses…sometimes. Hope your day is better. 😀

  3. Great stories, Jorge. Those kids & that guy were jackasses. Of course, that’s kind of an insult to jackasses! 😉 I totally agree with you about stupid people: Girls who insist on wearing clubbing clothes to the zoo. Um yeah, you are walking on miles & miles of trails, some hilly, some with stairs, some muddy….. Why they hell would you wear stiletto heels???? I always just shake my head at these types who wobble all over the place and then get too tired to walk anymore. DUH! Guys who go there to cruise for chicks. They should just follow the girls in the stiletto heels…they’ll get tired eventually and have to stop. People who don’t pay attention to where they are going. TOTALLY. Especially the ones pushing strollers AND not paying attention. Ever get hit in the back of the shin with a stroller? OUCH! The kids in the stroller get jolted too. If you want to look at an animal, stop walking! Don’t bump into people! People who think feeding the geese and birds is a good thing. The gees & birds should sh!t on THEIR heads! 🙂 Cat

  4. I am always awed by the people-monkey/gorilla thing. Given the opportunity to show superiority, which they obviously crave, so many fail.

  5. WWoooooo! Go Gorillas! Part of why I can’t go to zoos all that often is because I can barely deal with the stupididiotmorons. Rarely will I remain quiet.

  6. Hahaha, nice. Outta throw him in the cage next time.

  7. Hey Jorge…. I love the zoo…but the Toronto zoo…is way to huge….it takes forever to check things out…. I frequent this zoo in Elmvale….(whenever I head to the summer house in Wasaga Beach)…. This zoo is small and has everything you can imagine….and your very close to the animals…. I once squared a monkey in the “you know whats” and he was holding himself…..we laughed our asses off ..then the monkey begaon mimicking our laughter…. it was a blast…. thanks for the idea….when it gets cooler I will have to check out the zoo….but then again working in Toronto I see the zoo everyday….lol Have a great weekend…and keep in touch…. Cheers…. Diana

  8. Hey Dude….. I so agree with you on the Gorillas….. I especially love and adore Charles the silverback. I’m also especially impressed with the Toronto Zoo’s reconstruction of the gorilla exhibt which was completed a few yrs ago. I was awestruck by it and I think you could see the gorillas smiling too. lol. It’s a lot nicer and happier space for them. __{~._.~} ___ ( Y ) __()~*~() __ (_)-(_) TeDdy DeAr CuDdLeS & HUGS!!! Just stopping by to spread some love. A few days late (dsl was down) & a dollar short but always welcome! Keeping it REAL!!! Booyah!! D€ Gûr£ ô¿~

  9. Hey J knock knock….**new mail**…*new mail* check ur mail box mr haikul..lol hehe…i m srry *smile* lata

  10. I see animalistic actions such as these each day at my work. I think that we’d all be better off if we lived in a rain forest somewhere with monkeys as companions. Seemingly half of the population has the brain capacity of a snail and the heart of well; I can’t compare it to anything as most creatures are more compassionate. Boo on the wankers who act uncivilised; but in a bad way! Grr…hss…swat… (we could all learn alot from Charles and my cat Bodhi) :), Drea

  11. LOl ants between the sheets…. nasty. 😀 Yay to the web comics of fun. Oh and I changed your quote on my site like you wanted. So it is all good now. I love the zoo. Well the ones I have been to, except the one in Las Vegas. The one owned my those two magician guys that I can’t spell their name this early in the morning. It was ok, as in nice vegetation, but the enclosures seemed kinda small. I hate people like that, with the banging on the windows and the throwing of the food. Ugghhh, it reminds me of Free Willy. Charles sounds great! This one time when I went to a zoo, the gorillas, or one of them, started throwing feces at the window and some people wondered why. It’s cause of cruel stupid dumbasses like you described. I think I would throw poo at them too. XD

  12. Good stories Jorge. But I have to add this: I once knew a gorialla who not only littered, but he wouldn’t give up his seat on the bus for little old ladies. He was a real asshole.

  13. LOL good one. Have a Great Weekend!!! Hasta luego.

  14. My 2 weeks in Toronto and I never made it to the zoo. I was simply on a quest to catch up with friends and search for yummy cuisine that I could not find in the International cuisine challenged metropolis of Halifax. My favourite zoo so far is the Bronx Zoo. That place is amazing. Next time I’m in TO, I’m totally hitting the zoo. Hope you had a nice weekend’ Cheers ~ian

  15. Animals rule! I love the zoo. If I see people misbehaving at that stuff, I get very mad!

  16. Amazing – delivering thought without even saying a word. Sometimes I wish that I had Charles’ communication ability! And I think that the photo album would be a great idea Jorge!

  17. Totally agree with the post. I thought that your points were spot on !

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