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If Another Tree Falls In the Forest…

If Jesus Blogged No One Would Ever Know

In the face of comments posted from zealots (who don’t listen to my requests to stop posting crap on my blog), a peculiar thought entered my head…


Picture the second coming of Christ. Jesus sits at his computer wearing jeans and a nice long-sleeved collared shirt and some Tevas, and he’s typing away on his self-coded blog (Self coded? It’s Jesus for God’s sake! He can do anything!). He finishes a thoughtful and insightful article on the latest political happenings and then retires to his study to read some books by Deepak Chopra…


I wonder how many people would read that article written by Jesus and just scan over it to move onto the next blog? Would anyone even guess it’s Him, or would they even care?

I doubt that anyone would really pick up on Jesus blogging. Heck, I doubt that any of the religious heavy-hitters would really get noticed, for that matter. Mohammed and Brahma would probably be as frustrated as Jesus with the lack of real response to what they are writing. It’s because they would get eclipsed by people’s faith.

People’s faith, you ask?

Let me break it down for you…

I have respect for people’s beliefs. I think that it’s wonderful when people stand up for what they believe in. Religious faith is part of that. While I may not believe in what others do, it doesn’t mean I can’t repsect their point of view.

Now on the other hand, some people really take their faith far too seriously. I’m not referring to conviction here, either. I’m talking about how they show people how faithful they are. They go over the top.

Blogging has made it very easy to do this. People express their faith with bells and whistles, and go around to others’ blogs and leave lengthy messages about how to live your life. They have ten million emoticons and pictures on their blogs of all things glitzy to emphasize how much they believe in what they believe in. It’s like Las Vegas, in a convenient, easy-to-read format.

This kind of thing doesn’t impress me. I believe that this doesn’t really impress a lot of people.

In fact, it probably turns a lot of people off of believing in anything, because it has too much flash and not enough thought.

And so what would one more person be expressing their views about religion, even if it was Jesus or Mohammed or Brahma? Probably nothing to a lot of people. Just another slob, like one of us (borrowing from Joan Osbourne a little), posting what we believe to be nothing of consequence.

It’s a shame, really. No matter what you believe, you can always learn something new from a well-expressed opinion.

Hai-Kuul – July 22, 2005

Don’t Know How to Party (Requested by The Shellie)
What am I doing?
I am agoraphobic!
I can’t even dance!


Jimmy Crack Corn and I Don’t Care or Do I? (Requested by The Shellie)
My master is dead
I’m not even in his will
Stupid Blue-Tailed fly


Anything Tastes Good Fried (Requested by The Shellie)
Coat it in batter
And it will taste like butter
Great, greasy goodness!


Wedding Crashers (Requested by The Shellie)
Who the hell are you?
Where’s your invitation, punk?
Or at least, a gift!


Thunderstorm On the Lake (Requested by Cat)
Rolling thunder and
Twice as much lightning as it
Reflects in the lake


Kids Feeding Ducks (Requested by Cat)
They feel so useful
Throwing breadcrumbs on the ground
To watch the results


Diving Into Deep Water (Requested by Cat)
Water rushes past
As your surroundings darken
You dive to the depths!


Cannonballs (Requested by Cat)
Leaping. Hurtling
Curled into a tight, round ball
To make a big splash




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

I Like the Creative Education Story

Why I Like Superman

A lot of my close friends will tell you that I am obsessed with Superman. Not in a crazy-nutcase-fan way, but in a more subtle, thoughtful way.

One of my favourite shows of all time is the animated series created in 1996. In my opinion it is more consistent than the comic books (which change the story every five seconds).

I recently ordered this on DVD, and I was watching an episode the other day when my wife sat down beside me to pass some time. She’s pretty cool for watching some of my favourite shows with me and asking questions about the characters.

She asked me why I liked Superman above all other superheroes.

This was a good question. I told her I would think about it, and here is the result.

To say I like Superman might be a bit of a misleading statement. Instead, I’ll state that I have a particular vision of Superman that I really like a lot. To find out what this images is, and why I like it, we’ll have to start at the beginning.

Growing up, I would catch episodes of Superman on television. Superman was even on Sesame Street once. As a kid, I liked the fact that superman could fly, and that he was very strong. Above those qualities, I admired him for his principles, and how he would use his gifts to help those who needed assistance. One thing that I really wanted to be when I was a child was helpful (who knows what happened since then).

Here was a guy who had unlimited potential. He could use his powers to get money and toys and whatever else my imagination could think of, and yet he just helped out.

As I got older, my mother introduced me to comic books. She bought a big box and I would read and re-read everything in there. I used to know most of the stories by heart. I enjoyed some of them immensely.

Unfortunately, not all of them were to my liking. Being a nerdy kid, I had a better-than-average understanding of science. A lot of what happened in the comic books was very odd, and didn’t make sense. Also, at that time, I would watch Justice League of America and Superfriends on television. Superman was much stronger in these newer cartoons. In fact, in one episode the Earth’s orbit was disrupted, sending our planet hurtling into the sun. Superman actually moved the planet back into orbit.

While superpowers are a thing of fantasy, this didn’t really jive with me. No one should ever be that powerful. It was too fantastic.

I fell out of my Superman admiration phase, and kept up with Batman. I started reading more Marvel comics, and enjoyed Daredevil and Wolverine. Two of the most flawed heroes you can imagine. Superman had no flaws anymore, and that made him uninteresting.

Fast forward to my university days and a book called Kingdom Come. This comic book should be read by everyone. It is the story of how Superman leaves Metropolis because people want more violent heroes. Eventually things spiral out of control and he comes back. It’s a great commentary on the state of comics, and on the state of people in these modern times. There are moments where Superman believes that he is right in taking control of the situation. But then there are times when he despairs at his lack of perspective, and has no idea what to do.

This book portrayed the most human Superman ever, in my opinion. I was hooked again. The regular series was mediocre, and enjoyable enough, but it didn’t strike as resonant a chord as Kingdom Come did.

Shortly after the release of that book the new animated Superman show aired. Superman was not so perfect. He took his lumps, and he got angry just like a normal person. While mostly benevolent, he had his moments where it looked like he was thinking about pounding the crap out of some criminal.

In the pilot episode a large battle suit is stolen. The terrorists use it against Superman. Over and over the terrorist John Corben keeps hammering Superman with all manner of weaponry. Finally Superman takes the suit apart, pulls John out, and asks (with a very angry expression) maybe we can go a few rounds without the suit? It is this realistic emotional portrayal of a fictional character that really draws me to the series.

To me, this is Superman. A person gifted with power who tries his best to do good and fit in. A person who makes mistakes, and has his share of problems, but does his best to persevere in the face of adversity (and the occasional alien invasion). Plus the costume is cool.

What’s not to like?



Another Creative Spam Name

Anyone remember Brontosaurus B. Intemperance?

Well I think I got a spam from his brother…


Uncomplimentary H. Fuzziness


Wow. The believability of that name is hard to dispute.



Ire Education

A friend of mine sent me a news article that talked about how the word fail should be banned from British classrooms. It would be replaced with the phrase deferred success to ensure that students are not demoralized.

Indeed, even here in Canada it’s getting harder to give students accurate marks. Failed student statistics are usually made to reflect poorly on the teacher, and ultimately on the Principals.

Sugar-coating failure is just another step towards the softening of our society. Shielding children from negativity is just going to create a false sense of security which will lead to problems.

Unfortunately, it’s our government that implements the policies that lead to this idiocy. Most likely it is about keeping our country competitive in the global arena.

Our government doesn’t want Canadian kids to look stupid, as that would eventually reflect poorly on our country.

Much better to make them falsely look good so they can display all of their stupidity to the world later when they become politicians.



What’s Your Story?

I received a comment a while back from someone from MSN who indicated that I might be on What’s Your Story?.

Essentially it’s a front page to MSN Spaces that highlights a couple of blogs and also has a section highlighting other spaces (which changes on a weekly basis).

Unfortunately, due to the fact that I have profanity on my blog (mostly in the Hai-Kuul section) I didn’t make the cut. What’s Your Story? is a family-rated space, so profanity is a no-no.

If you are planning on making it onto there, I would suggest you change your swearing ways.

I also want to take this opportunity to thank MSN for considering me. It feels great to be recognized for creativity.

Hai-Kuul – July 21, 2005

Jorge Doesn’t Like Lunch (Requested by Drea)
Jorge used to eat food
Now he simply writes haiku
Send him some muffins!


Burden? What Burden? (Requested by Drea)
I’m not complaining
So why don’t you take your whip
And leave me alone!


Drea’s Hai-Kuuls Are Fun (Requested by Drea)
Leandra’s requests
Fly in a mile a minute
But they make me think


This Side of the Country (Requested by Drea)
It’s the wild, wild West
But instead of the horses
We’ve got wild salmon!


Pianos and Piccolos (Requested by Drea)
The strangest duet
You will ever hear for sure
Expensive tickets


Van Gogh’s Earring (Requested by Drea)
Vincent’s gold earring
Sparkles brightly on the ground
Since his ear left town


Maple Leafs and Other Red Things (Requested by Drea)
In the wind it flaps
Who knew that this bright colour
Would make us so proud?


Irish/Scandinavian Who Speaks French (Requested by Drea)
An accent can be
A very attractive trait
But a triple? Whoa…


The Taj Mahal (Requested by Drea)
Some guy built this thing
To make his lady happy
Flowers are cheaper


Morning On My Mind (Requested by Drea)
When I go to bed
I think of the sun’s greeting
I can’t wait ’till morn!




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

More Stupider Feature

People Are Becoming More Stupider

I was on the subway today listening to some kid bragging about his typing speed. He mentioned that he had the bestest technique, which allowed him to type more faster.

Honestly, do I really need to elaborate on this?



This Might As Well Be a Weekly Feature

Dave and I (and a number of others) are going camping next weekend. In his attempt to be a good guy (which he will always be, regardless of what he does), he offered to buy me a propane tank so that he might use my camp stove for cooking (we tend to do food preparation with a partner, and as sexy as Dave is, Mrs. J wins the hottie competition hands down, and so Dave is partnered with another stoveless person).

Note the exchange…


J: Hey Mano. You don’t need to worry about the tank.
D: Really?
J: Seriously. First of all, my stove burns white gas, so you showing up with a propane tank would help no one.
D: Err…That might pose a problem.
J: Secondly, we already have three canisters.
D: What do those cost? How much do they charge to fill them?
J: Napthalene comes in big drums. It’s pretty cheap, and it lasts forever. We only used a tank and a half at most last year.
D: Oh.
J: I appreciate the offer, but it’s not needed, and the cost is so small as to be relatively insignificant.
D: Well I have to do something.
J: Nah.
D: Really, is there anything I can do in trade?
J: Ummmmm….
D: Not that.

To be honest, I wasn’t even trying to be funny, but I was laughing like an idiot after Dave‘s line.

Dave and I have so many funny conversations that this should become a regular feature. Of course, by doing that, I would feel as if it were an obligation, and it would stress me out. So forget that nonsense. For one thing, I don’t really need another feature spiraling out of control. Secondly, while we find these conversations funny, we are not so egotistical as to believe that everyone would like them. That damned 10% holdout pisses us off.