Hold Your Applause

Armed and Dangerous

Sometimes I wonder if I’m going to be spending the afterlife in a very warm place.

Observe: a friend tweeted this…

I replied with this…

Anyone have an extra portable air conditioner they don’t need?

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MM6 – 24 Hour Movie Marathon – 2011

Just so you know, there were some complications this year; both in terms of: the movies we selected and the circumstances under which we were placed to film the fanpics. Not everything was able to make it in this year. Also: we are lazy.

After what seems to have been an eternity, another 24 Hour Movie Marathon is upon us. Having skipped 2010 (although the official position is that we HAVE maintained the average of one per year since we doubled up in 2008), we are very much raring to go. The dynamics of our free time have changed a bit, but steps have been taken to make room for the event. Booya!

The lineup this year, in my opinion, is the strangest yet (or maybe the space in between this year’s and the last has clouded my memory); however, I am very much looking forward to these twelve films. The challenge will be staying awake and doing a good job on our fan films. Every year that we do this we wonder if the idea well for our multimedia hilarity will run dry; so far we have managed to come up with -according to us- some good material.

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The Funnier Way

Excuse Me, Sir. Your Daughter Just Said…

My daughter had a sleepover at Nana’s recently. It’s a great arrangement because Nana doesn’t live too far from where I work, so it’s just a matter of her dropping off little J to my office. Win-win, really; Nana gets to spend time with the wee one and I get a traveling partner for my commute.

On the subway, every station is announced several times beforehand (something to do with being sued when people miss their stops or something). More often than not, the on-board speakers are on the fritz and it’s hard to determine what they are saying. Here is a list of “translations” courtesy of my daughter.

TTC: The next stop is Christie. Christie Station.
Little J: Daddy! We’re going to Rice Krispies Station!

TTC: The next stop is Bathurst. Bathurst Station.
Little J: Daddy, are they really thirsty? They are bad thirsty? Is that what that means?

[This one is the most embarrassing one; only because it was declared very, very loudly.]

TTC: The next stop is Spadina. Spadina Station.
Little J: Daddy! That voice on the speaker just said ‘vagina’ two times!


Where’s Bill Cosby when you need him?


Emm Emm Sicks

The Countdown Begins

Really, the countdown began a few months ago when I purchased my train ticket to Ottawa; Movie Marathon Six is almost upon us! Here is the program…

  1. The King of Kong
  2. New Jack City
  3. Once
  4. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
  5. Singin’ in the Rain
  6. North By Northwest
  7. Micmacs
  8. The Black Hole
  9. House (Japan)
  10. The Human Centipede
  11. Machete
  12. The Fall

In a word: insane-o! I have seen only a few of these; the rest I am very much looking forward to watching.

So the usual hijinks will be hinjinksed: movie watching; tableau picture-taking; fan-film-making; sleep-deprivation. We might even do some webcasting and live chats; or maybe we won’t. Ah, movie marathons are the bomb!

For a sampling of our previous events, click here.


Juicer

Tight Squeeze

Having children is like having access to a gold mine full of awesomeness. Not only do they come up with some hilarious dialogue, but they inspire us to explore our own inner child; that is, they help us remove the grown-up filter that usually remains intact in most day-to-day situations.

What’s even better is when you have friends with children that you can share your stories with; from these conversations, awesomeness is born…

Jorge: Little J made strawberry juice by squeezing Strawberry Shortcake. “Aaahhh! Fresh!”. I am sleeping with one eye open.
Krk: Take it out on Count Chocula for chocolate milk!
J: Hahahahah! I don’t even want to know how they make Bawls soda.


The Big Picture

Cart Calls Kettle Black

I was out shopping at the local Loblaws earlier this evening. I deposited my groceries in the trunk of my car and then rode the shopping cart back to the cart deposit area. I’m not sure if any of you have ever done this, but it involves a steady grip on the bar while “skateboarding” the shopping cart and then hunching over and placing both of your feet on the supporting structure over the rear wheels.

It’s fun.

As I was doing this, I saw a guy get out of his car. He was a TTC driver that I had seen before, driving a local bus; I recall him having a good sense of humour. As I walked back from putting away my cart, he commented, “I can’t believe I just saw a grown-ass man do that.” He chuckled.

I laughed, and motioned around the parking lot (there were a whole bunch of carts lying around), “At least I put my cart away.”

He nodded. “That’s true. I’ll give you that. “

As I drove away, I saw him, skateboarding his own shopping cart towards the front doors of the supermarket. As I honked my horn and gave him the thumbs up, he pumped a fist in the air and had a shit-eating grin.

Grown-ass man indeed.




Job Descriptions

Obvious

I was in the car with Mrs. J and Little J last week when the following dialog took place…

Little J: Daddy, when it’s summer again next year I want to go to Centre Island to ride on the bumblebees.
Jorge: Yeah?
Little J: Yeah. And you can take pictures with your camera because you are the picture guy.
Jorge: I’m the picture guy, eh?
Little J: Yeah. You’re a picture-making machine.
Jorge: [Laughs.]
Little J: You are a picture-making machine just like I am a googie-making machine.
Jorge: [Laughs louder.]

We have all had bad colds recently, so she’s somewhat accurate about the googies.