Barking Space

Just so you know, there were some complications this year; both in terms of: the movies we selected and the circumstances under which we were placed to film the fanpics. Not everything was able to make it in this year. Also: we are lazy.

After what seems to have been an eternity, another 24 Hour Movie Marathon is upon us. Having skipped 2010 (although the official position is that we HAVE maintained the average of one per year since we doubled up in 2008), we are very much raring to go. The dynamics of our free time have changed a bit, but steps have been taken to make room for the event. Booya!

The lineup this year, in my opinion, is the strangest yet (or maybe the space in between this year’s and the last has clouded my memory); however, I am very much looking forward to these twelve films. The challenge will be staying awake and doing a good job on our fan films. Every year that we do this we wonder if the idea well for our multimedia hilarity will run dry; so far we have managed to come up with -according to us- some good material.

I am repeating my good idea of pre-writing a good chunk of this; creating place-holders for videos and photos, as well as having the general plot outlines written down really helps keep things moving while I’m watching the movies. Also, due to the content of some of the movies we watch, some of the subsequent videos and words in the following entry may not be suitable for some. So without further ado…

The pile o’ of movies.
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10:00 – The King of Kong

This documentary from 2007 is about two men and an old-timey video game (Donkey Kong). In a nutshell, Billy Mitchell set the record for the game; the record stood for twenty-five years. Steve Wiebe, an earnest teacher from Washington, breaks Mitchell’s record at a public tournament. Mitchell strikes back with “video evidence” of a new, even more unbelievable score. Wiebe travels to Florida to challenge Mitchell. Who will end up holding the record?

So far this movie has more nerds per second than anything else in the history of the known universe. This is a new unit of measure.

One of the lines talked about Steve having some sort of social hangup.

Dave: Like listening to The Cure.

Rebecca: [Referring to Billy.] So, that guy with the mullet… Is he the bad guy?
Chris: Don’t look at it that way. This is a documentary. There are no good and bad guys.

After watching this movie for a while, it’s pretty obvious that there are a lot of politics involved in the seedy underworld of video game players…

Dave: The theme of the movie marathon this year is about people that you would never want to meet in real life.

I want to announce my new favourite word, used by Mr. Awesome (Roy Shildt): Chumpatize.

Chris made a point earlier about this movie making Billy Mitchell look like a douche. Then he wondered if Billy Mitchell is actually a douche. I said that the answer is: “yes”.

Chris: You know, I like playing video games, but I want to punch everyone in this movie in the face.
Rebecca: I guess that would mean you want to donkey punch him.

We universally agree that Steve Wiebe is awesome. Chris brought up the fact that he has kids, which pretty much sets him ahead of everyone else featured in the film.

The Verdict

You can’t help but like Steve Wiebe in this movie. The guy has heart and he is a good guy. Billy Mitchell ends up looking like an asshole, no matter which way you slice it. In a way, this reminds me of Pumping Iron. Billy Mitchell employs mind games and implies that these tactics are essential to competitive video game playing. I beg to differ.

Dave offers some helpful coaching to Chris.
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Donkey Kong has had enough.

11:44 – New Jack City

Dubbed as one of the first and best films to crack open the underworld of cocaine, New Jack City is also the film that caused people to keep their peepers on Wesley Snipes. Director Mario Van Peebles brought vivid authenticity and urgency to this crime story. He also has one of the wussiest sounding names in the history of the world.

Shelley: Who’s in this again?
Dave: Ice-T, Wesley Snipes, Judd Nelson and Chris Rock.
Shelley: Oh yeah. This is when he still had fucked-up teeth.
[A few minutes later Chris Rock appears on screen.]
Dave: His teeth are not as fucked up as I remember.
Shelley: Yeah.

It’s pretty amazing how this movie makes one ashamed of the late 80’s (modes of dress and talking). Then you think about the way things are now; things are not that much better (take a look at some of the teenagers walking around these days). That being said, this movie is fantastically riveting.

Chris Rock has just been rehabilitated by Ice-T. Apparently a dental plan was part of the process because his teeth now look awesome.

Wesley Snipes has a moment with his friend and talks about how nothing can come between them (and their success). He puts his hand on his friend’s face, almost tenderly. Then he hugs him.
Jorge: Now they’re going to make out.
Cathy: New Jack City is the story of the repressed homosexuality of African-American druglords.
Jorge: Brokeblack Mountain.

Wesley Snipes and his buddy are watching some girl flirting with them. She’s shakin’ her booty while makin’ longin’ eyes at them.
Dave: I’ve always wanted to dance-flirt with someone. [Dave proceeds to dance like a weirdo while winking.]
[A short time later, the woman is screwing Wesley’s friend but looking (longingly) at Wesley.]
Dave: I have always wanted to fuck-flirt someone, too.

Line of the movie (said by Wesley Snipes): “Sit your five dollar ass down before I make change!”

The Verdict

This was a great movie. I haven’t seen it before, and it’s pretty easy to see how it opened the floodgates to movies dealing with similar issues. I would recommend this to anyone, provided you don’t want to throw up when you see a plethora of gold chains and Zoot suits.

Dave succumbs to the allure of the worst narcotic of all time: snack mix.
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The captain can’t believe who his underlings want on the case…

14:05 – Once

A guitarist/singer-songwriter from Dublin (who makes a living fixing vacuum cleaners in his dad’s repair shop by day and performing at night) meets a Czech pianist (who plays whenever she can, does odd jobs during the day, and takes care of her mom and daughter at night). They basically get to know each other and find love through their collaboration. Either that, or they team up and fight M. Bison. I’m not sure which. I’ll let you know by the end.

The movie has started and Dave has turned on the subtitles because of an exchange between one of the main characters and an Irish druggie. I couldn’t actually see the subtitles because my laptop screen was in the way.

Shelley: This guy looks like fifty percent of the Irish population.
Jorge: Like, all of them at once?

They have established that the singer/songwriter is pretty down on his luck. Seriously. I don’t think I can feel more sorry for this guy.

The main characters are singing together in a music store. The song is very touching.
Dave: If I had a nickel for every time I sang this song at the top of my lungs like a ginger-haired Irishman in the car, I’d have a whole ‘lotta nickels.

In one of the songs he’s singing, he’s talking about little cracks forming, escalating into a bigger problem.
Jorge: Wasn’t that in the last movie we watched? Wasn’t that movie about little cracks escalating?
Shelley: No, that was about little cracks undulating.

Shelley is in love with the guy when he said the word “cool”. It’s so cute. He says it on the screen and a half second later Shelley is beaming.

The Verdict

A friend of mine at work told me that he really liked this movie; it’s not hard to see why. This is one of those instances where a low-budget film moves you much more than any big Hollywood blockbuster. The movie certainly has heart. I’m glad that I got a chance to watch it.

This new Irish band will warm the cockles of your heart. Or…the heart of your cockles?
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This shows you why a pairing of a rock guitarist and triangle player is unlikely.

15:51 – Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

A petty thief posing as an actor is brought to L.A. for an unlikely audition and finds himself in the middle of a murder investigation along with his high school dream girl and a detective who’s been training him for his upcoming role.

Robert Downey Jr. is awesome. He is in this movie. So far he is acting as the narrator (with his usual flair), so it’s all kinds of awesome so far.

I took a quick break from the movie to make a phone call for a few minutes – I have no idea what’s going on now. TO THE INTERNET!

All right. Caught up. This is pretty surreal. Film noir tribute? Yes!

Shelley commented about how this is one of those movies that moves so quickly that even just blinking can cause you to lose all sense of this movie.

There are so many twists in this movie that Chubby Checker would be proud. Best part ever: Val Kilmer keeps a Derringer “in his balls” (his words) and shoots some guy through his pants. Thus, the Dick Gun is born.

The Verdict

The movie was really great. Once you figure out what’s going on, it’s pretty awesome. The ending is really hilarious. The point of view makes half of this movie; RDJ as a narrator is fantastic and having him kick it all off in his usual manner is great.

Disposing of Dave’s body that was found in Chris’ hotel room.
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Shelley answers questions about the movie.

17:43 – Singin’ In the Rain

Complications are abound in this movie that starts off with the story of an on-screen romantic pair (Don and Lina). Lina mistakes the fake chemistry for the real stuff. When their latest film is transformed into a musical, things get a bit more complicated. Don’s voice is perfect for the role; Lina’s – not so much. So they bring in Kathy, an aspiring actress, to dub over Lina’s voice. Don falls for Kathy. Hopefully there is an accompanying flowchart.

Gene Kelly is really awesome in this flick. I saw this a long time ago and I enjoyed it immensely. Already ideas for our fan film are bubbling in my mind.

There is something honest about these kinds of pictures. Casting is really well done.

The guy who plays the director in this movie is such a ham. You certainly get the sense that he is a perfectionist.

The title song is playing right now. This has to be one of the best scenes in a musical of all time. It’s tough to see something like this these days.

We are at the longest singing and dancing scene ever. In the middle of the scene, Gene is approached by an attractive woman who is lured away by a guy offering her jewellery (who happens to be flipping a very large coin. Shelley said something where the rest of the joke just wrote itself.
Shelley: She’s leaving with that guy because he has a huge coin.

The Verdict

I enjoyed this movie before and I enjoyed it today. I don’t really know what else to say about it except that, other than the crazy-long dancing scene, it’s one of those movies that stands the test of time.

Chris, Rebecca and Dave are a happy trio.
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Chris single-handedly finds out about the death of musical shtick.

19:51 – North By Northwest

What happens when Alfred Hitchcock makes a romantic-comedy-thriller? This. This is what. The main character, an ad executive, is mistaken for a U.S. undercover agent by enemy spies (this happens to me all the time). Convinced that they are trying to kill him, he flees and ends up meeting a sexy stranger on a train. After this, it’s a roller coaster ride leading up to a cliffhanger atop Mount Rushmore (ha ha).

I thought that I hadn’t seen this movie before, but I think I actually have. There is no mistaking the scene from the cornfield. Granted, it would have been a long time ago that I would have seen this movie; possibly in university.

Cary Grant is fantastic in this movie. One of the coolest parts of the movie so far is when Cary Grant is taking a shower and starts whistling “Singing In the Rain”.

Shelley thinks that every movie would be better if all the major characters carried “dick guns” like Val Kilmer in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.

The Verdict

Parts of this were coming back to me as we watched it. I really enjoyed watching this again. We are officially at the halfway point now (actually, just past). Dave is currently obsessed with improving every video that we are doing. So far: no injuries. Again: only halfway through.

Our hero and heroine dangle precariously from a modern interpretation of Mount Rushmore.
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Dave flees for his life from foreign spies.

21:57 – Micmacs

The “Micmacs” (a group of tinkerers, toolsmiths and circus folk) live in a junkyard warren of their own devising. Here they are joined by the film’s hero, Bazil, a nondescript video-store clerk whose “career” is cut short when he takes a stray bullet to the head. Surviving this, Bazil vows vengeance on the city’s fat-cat arms manufacturers (for the record, his dad was killed by a land mine). He enlists his super-quirky band of buddies to help. It’s like Looney Toons meets the A-Team. Buckle up!

The movie has a surreal quality about it. This is to be expected, given that the director is the same man that helmed Amélie. So far it’s really endearing.

Not quite as crazy-random as Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, this movie has its fair number of twists and turns.

A lot of people aren’t really paying attention to this movie. It is worth noting at this point that one of the movies we originally planned (Hausu) is not working. We have replaced it. Also, we have moved The Black Hole to the end of the marathon.

The Verdict

A cute little film about a group of misfits who went about revenge in a very creative manner. I want to watch this again at some point soon. Part of that, though, is admittedly because I think I missed a bit due to working on something else.

Dave and Chris perform the rare contortionist pose: “Bridge Over Troubled Water”
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Jorge needs to hire some folks for a job. He went to the wrong place.

12:43 – [REC]

This film focuses on a young TV reporter and her cameraman who cover the night shift at the local fire station. Receiving a call from an old lady trapped in her house, they reach her building to hear horrifying screams — which begin a long nightmare and a uniquely dramatic TV report. Seriously, this movie is like a Scooby-Doo adventure on drugs. Well, harder drugs than what Shaggy has been smoking, anyway.

For this movie we turned off all of the lights and I closed the laptop so that it was as dark as possible. Not much stuff going on other than talking about how we suspected that one of the people in the movie had genital tonsilitis. It’s a long story.

The Verdict

This movie scared the crap out of me. It started off in such a way as to make it really easy to take lightly. Taking it lightly, though, was not the best idea. Shit got pretty damned real pretty damned fast. I don’t want to give too much away; as predictable as it was, though, it was pretty damned scary.

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02:04 – The Human Centipede

Not for the casual horror fan, The Human Centipede is about a mad doctor obsessed with the creation of a human centipede. Uniting two American tourists and a Japanese truck driver, the doctor successfully makes one of the strangest creatures on the planet. The creation of this abomination is horrible enough to make you cringe; however, the way that these poor people are treated by the doctor will make you throw up in your mouth a little (or maybe in someone else’s in honour of the film). This is probably going to be the most uncomfortable movie to watch.

We’re five minutes in and Shelley is getting stressed. Basically two tourists are in Germany and are lost somewhere.
Jorge: Shelley gets stressed when people get lost, particularly in Volkswagons.
Shelley: I just get stressed when I watch movies with the words “human” and “centipede” in the title.

I have seen this movie before. As freaky as it is, I am actually more interested in watching the reactions of other people in the room that have not seen this before. In a way, it reminds me of the time that we watched Deliverance.

The main villain in this looks like an evil version of Lance Henriksen.

The Verdict

Disturbing. Disturbing. Disturbing. Seriously do not watch this if you are squeamish at all. It is freakishly disgusting and you will wonder how anyone could possible create this thing. Now, granted, it’s not the worst movie in the world – but it’s really bad.

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03:43 – Machete

Machete, a highly-skilled Federale, is hired by some unsavoury chaps to assassinate someone. Of course, when he goes to do the job, he realizes that he has been set up. He barely survives the altercation and (of course) swears revenge. With the aid of his non-violent-now-in-the-priesthood brother, Machete takes his enemies to task. Watch for the vagina-phone™!

Time for some Danny Trejo kick-ass action.

Stephen Segal is in this movie. He hasn’t aged well. He is also a reminder that I really need to lose weight; soon.

Holy crap! Everyone is in this movie! Seriously: DeNiro? DeNiro?!?!?! This is going to wake everyone up.

Lindsay Lohan is in the movie as…guess what? A druggie!

This movie has possibly the best scene where someone jumps out the window with a rope that I have seen in any movie.

It’s 05:10 right now. Everyone has been asleep for about 30 minutes. EVERYONE. *sigh*

The Verdict

Machete is a hilariously awesome action movie. Danny Trejo is the strong, essentially silent type who pretty much cuts his way right into your hearts. Well, not really. But he does know his way around a butcher shop. Lots of great one-liners in this movie; not to mention, a fantastic ending.

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05:30 – The Fall

At a Los Angeles hospital in the 1920s, Alexandria is a child recovering from a broken arm. She befriends Roy Walker, a movie stunt man with legs paralyzed after a fall. At her request, Roy tells her an elaborate story about six men of widely varied backgrounds who are on a quest to kill a corrupt provincial governor. Between chapters of the story, Roy inveigles Alexandria to scout the hospital’s pharmacy for morphine. As Roy’s fantastic tale nears its end, Death seems close at hand.

Everyone (except for me and a recently self-awakened Rebecca) is asleep. I guess age is getting to everyone; perhaps the somewhat copious amounts of alcohol. Who the hell knows? Anyway, I’m dead tired, but someone has to put the damned movies in the PS3 so that we can watch them.

We are at the beginning bit of this movie (the intro credits) and I can already tell that this is going to be a very surreal experience. Part of this is because I am probably going to be hallucinating from how tired I am.

The little girl who is in the lead role is pretty awesome. Rebecca told me that she had to learn english phonetically just for this role.

The style of this movie reminds me a bit of The Princess Bride; specifically, the narrative style and the way that it melds with the story.

The little girl’s interpretation of the stuntman’s stories is really, really cool. The imagery in this movie is simply fantastic.

The Verdict

I am going to need to see this movie again. Due to the fact that we had to turn the volume down (sleeping people; especially sleeping baby) and also because I had to take a bio-break, I missed some stuff. This is a movie where leaving even for a few minutes means that you will be lost for the rest of it. Be warned.

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23:57 – The Black Hole

This movie scared the crap out of me when I was a kid. A small craft manned by an equally small crew made up of people and one robot make a startling discovery: on the edge of the universe, sitting precariously in the pull of a black hole, sits the Cygnus – a craft thought lost to the ravages of one of the most destructive forces in the known galaxy. They land and discover that there are people still living aboard the beautiful spacecraft – or are they? Amazing visuals and an interesting premise make this movie enjoyable. Too bad the acting sucks.

The Verdict

I made the command decision not to play this movie, seeing as over fifty percent of the viewers were asleep. Also, the only way I could get this movie (our own copy was faulty) was to rent it off the PSN, and I didn’t feel right just using Dave’s credit card without his permission.

Finito

Well, it was an odd year for the MM. There were a few serious-type movies in a row, which cause some folks to start drifting (especially since they were drinking copious amounts of the alky). Also, some of us were up the night before due to a sick kiddo that kept waking up crying (and also, said kiddo was present at the marathon, so we couldn’t be as crazy as we normally were). Fan films had to be cut short, which is too bad. Hopefully, at some point, I’ll fill them in with video descriptions of what we were going to do.

I make it sound like it wasn’t fun; it really was. It was just a bit different than the usual MM experience. Looking forward to next year’s shindig!

Filed under: Friends, Humour, Interest, Special Events | Tagged: 24 Hour Movie Marathon, Hausu, House, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Machete, Micmacs, Movie Marathon, New Jack City, North By Northwest, Once, Singin' In the Rain, The Black Hole, The Fall, The Human Centipede, The King of Kong |