Engineered For Hitz. W00T!

How Many Hits…

And so, it has come to pass.

The time has arrived to attempt to hold a Darth Vader-like sway over the internet. The goal of this particular piece of writing is to capture as many hits from as many search engines as possible without using obvious references to sex, porn, or swearing (other than writing them there, of course).

I could easily just make a top ten-type list of words that would hopefully be hit by the spiders of the web, but this would be a cop-out. To truly be the bomb, this article has to be done with some manner of style. Thus, I intend to write about myself, while living up to my own little challenge.

I’m not really sure why I want to write this article. It’s not like I am some stats-hungry moron with some kind of agenda. Nor do I have hopes of gaining notoriety or celebrity with it. Indeed, the last thing I’d want to be is one of those celebrities like Tom Cruise or Katie Holmes, who seem to do things for the sake of attracting attention.

Indeed, if I write without any meaning, how can I hope to attract intelligent comments?

Normally I tend to write about things other than terrorism or the moronic activities of George Bush (which seem to me to be quite similar at times). I write about things locally that bother me (like jerks in the subway, or how insensitive people can be). I also write about the good things that I see around me, as well as some of my adventures in nature (that is, camping). I also write haiku poetry.

Originally, my intention was to use MSN Spaces to draw people to my photography. As am amateur it is great to get as much exposure as possible. The naked truth, though, is that selling art helps to keep the art going. I suppose the ultimate goal would be to have my art as my sole source of income. Money is not the most important thing in the world, but it’s tough to buy food with nothing.

Back to the blogging.

As I stated before, my original intention was to bring attention to my photo work. But things changed a bit.

I started to enjoy writing. The process of tapping out words on my keyboard became a therapeutic release. Writing is something I liked to do when I was younger. School almost drove that love out of me. Now that there is no other judge other than public opinion (which is, in all honesty, much more forgiving than a crotchety old prof), it has become enjoyable again. Orgasmic, even.

I don’t have crazy events on my blog for the most part. No requests for cancer research donations, or any other charity (I tend to do that on my own, privately). Instead, it’s just a place to hang out. People are even free to kidnap a poem from my collection to use on their sites.

It’s all good.

What does the future hold for Barking Space? I’ll most likely continue to do this for a long time. It doesn’t take a Superman to keep something like this up (insert Viagra joke here). It’s surprisingly easy to maintain.

It’s a great way to express yourself and a great way to share news.


So let’s see how I did…



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16 Responses

  1. Good Morning… Hey, you know. I have had some really strange hits from search engines. My most recent being….*drumroll* “pictures of my stepmom naked” ta da! Isn’t that great?! I have had some “real” ones though, like pictures of 80’s toys, and pictures of daughter’s pride and family rings. Anyway, off to work I go!!! Woo!! *waves* Linette

  2. Are we allowed to help you in the comments section? In otherwords, pornography Britney Spears Boing Boing Jean-Luc Picard ice skating Celebrity Skin nuclear war Frodo Spiderman my bum?

  3. Quite some time ago, I thought it would be a fun challenge to write a post around some search-engine terms. The funny thing is, that post does not generate any hits at all. The hits I get, which are many these days, come from the funniest, most innocuous thing.

  4. See how silly racism really is? I’m glad you liked the message about coloured people. Take care ChRiStY

  5. I just giggled my whole way through reading this most brilliant of entries. Here’s hopin’ those hits keep rollin’ in. Re: pomegranate juice. My G-ma Sinn gave me my very first pomegranate sometime in grade school, and I loved it. I also spent hours at a time trying to squish each seed, without splattering juice on myself, so that I could make juice from them. Never worked terribly well. Thank goodness someone else had the good sense to try this also because now I can just buy the juice at the store. Re: Bears in the woods. People are so unaware and slightly crazy. Don’t let your kids play near a mama bear. Don’t let your kids play near a flooded highway. Unless, of course, you are trying to get rid of your kids. Why is this so hard to understand?

  6. Wow- those stats sure are a-climbing… you’re beating me by a good 5000… and that gap will likely widen if I don’t start posting more than once a week… Anyway, I’m happy to be yet another hit on the ol’ counter πŸ™‚

  7. Jorge! Those photos are so fantastic! I LOVE them and they are making me so homesick! (I know that the Algonquin is nowhere near Revelstoke, but the feeling is the same!!) I was going to tell you which one was my favorite… but then I couldn’t decide! I think maybe the third one… the fourth one looks rather faery-like though. Sigh. Love them! I’m so impressed. I’ve tried to take “light” pictures… even though I know that is futile with my ol’ point n clicker. But it is my favorite thing to look at! Especially rays of light or light reflecting off shiny leaves. The streets in the gothic quarter of Barcelona had the most fantastic early morning light… it is one picture I wish I could have taken with skill… it just turned out dim though. Look, you’ve inspired a ramble. Take care, T

  8. My eyes are up, let me know what you think πŸ™‚ I never would have thought Toastmasters would have been something I enjoyed as it’s so far out of my comfort zone. I’ve gotten so much out of it though, and I have no problem shouting the benefits to who ever may be listening πŸ™‚ Even if people just go for one introductory meeting, you learn a lot… Enough rambling about me… I love your entry today, very well said! πŸ™‚ Karen

  9. From my experience tracking hits on another blog, I’ve found that having the word “nasty” and “preteens” or “german shiza video” tend to result in lots of hits. Someone even found that site searching for just the word “sister” — go figure. Beth =)

  10. Theresa, I’m nothing if not Faerie-like.

  11. It is quite amazing what ppl search for that makes a space turn up two days ago I got “Never trust a naked bus driver” thats just off the wall. I think you`ve done very well with this one πŸ™‚ Have a great week!!! Hasta Luego.

  12. I get at least 10 hits a day going to my blog from a while ago about men in speedos. And always, the search is ‘fat men in speedos’. Some people are weird. Like me. πŸ™‚

  13. Jorgie, I really don’t think you need to TRY to up your stats! You get a lot of hits already. πŸ™‚ It is weird, though, the things that continue to bring search engine hits to my site. Very very weird. πŸ™‚ Cat

  14. This blog will be a constant reminder of me eating your dust as you speed off to blog super-stardom. Search engines…Some interesting things in my stats of late: 1) Thai Tube Sock Fetish 2) Tube Socks Hot Mommas 3) Breakdancing dork 4) Anything to do with painting a couch Really liked the entry today….

  15. ok wiley network nerd – i will try your experiment πŸ™‚
    -jules

  16. […] Engineered For Hitz. W00T! The Anniversary of My Near-Death Experience » Blog at WordPress.com. • Theme: […]

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