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Contest!

Posted on July 4, 2005 by Jorge

Hai-Kuultest – Part Three

The 500th haiku came and went like a bat out of hell. It is time for another contest to celebrate the milestone. I was supposed to wait for Drea to indicate what the next photo was to be, but she thought it would be better to ignore that and request another ten million poems.

The contest will be similar to the last one. Check out the rules below.


Starting today, at 13:00 EST, I will be taking requests for Hai-Kuul. The 40th request wins. The rules are as follows..

  • The request must be made in the Hai-Kuul post on the sidebar as a comment. Any other Hai-Kuul request will not be counted as an entry, but I will create a Haiku for it regardless.
  • You cannot submit more than one request at a time. Thus five requests in the same comment only count as one entry.
  • You cannot submit more than one comment in a row at a time. Thus, if you were to submit two comments in a row, it would only count as one entry.
  • The Request must be original. No duplicates (which means you have to read the other ones). Duplicate requests will be deleted.
  • No members of my family are eligible for this. Any request from my family will be ignored (I will still write a haiku for the request though).
  • As of August 09, 2005, any request containing over ten topics in length will be deleted, and will thus not count as an entry.
  • The winner of the last contest cannot win this time. However, that person may contribute suggestions, and their entries will count towards the 40 entries. Should this person submit the 40th entry, the 41st will be the winner.
  • To receive the prize (there is only one), you must be able to provide me with a mailing address.


The prize for the 40th requestor will be an 8×10 glossy limited print (4/100) of a Moonlit Night in Algonquin Park (on 8.5×11 Canon Professional Photo Paper).

The 500th Haiku has already occurred due to the fact that Drea is a request-o-matic. She wins a 4×6 of the photo…



Good luck!

UPDATE (Aug 15, 2005): This contest is now closed.

Filed under: Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive, Special Events | 10 Comments »

Hai-Kuul – July 04, 2005

Posted on July 4, 2005 by Jorge

Tampons (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Only a man would
Design feminine products
That looked like grenades


Ain’t That Sweet? (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Kids inspire giggles
To the childless onlooker
Parents just shudder


Bizarro! (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
You see a stranger
With a large bright blue mohawk
You are strange to him


Let Me Out! (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
You don’t feel like most
You’re in society’s cage
Be your own person!


High Priority (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Every man knows
That the best policy is
To
really listen


Cahoots (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Even great heroes
Need some kind of cavalry
Long live the sidekick!


Bigger=Better? (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Texan frame of mind
Does not take into account
Horrible migraines


Hello Sunshine! (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
It’s rained for so long
I thought I would have to spend
My life under clouds


This One Shall Be the Best and None Shall Ever Top it (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Dearest Theresa
Sadly, in Haiku there is
No such thing as best


My Dog Had Diarrhoea While I Was Asleep (Requested by edplue79)
While I was asleep
And my mind was relaxing
So was his sphincter


Being Bored In the Tanning Bed With Fifteen Minutes Left (Requested by edplue79)
My mind is racing
For something to think about
While my body bakes


A Belated Happy Canada Day to my neighbours up here!
A Happy Independance Day to our neighbours in the South!




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Filed under: Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive | 2 Comments »

Something That Popped Into My Head

Posted on June 30, 2005 by Jorge

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts…
William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616), “As You Like It”, Act 2 scene 7



I would like to modify this quote to fit these modern times more appropriately…



All the world’s a stage,
Where most act like nothing is wrong,
Some think the show’s end is fast approaching,
While to others the finale is nowhere in sight…

Filed under: Ponderings, Spaces Archive | 11 Comments »

Hai-Kuul – June 30, 2005 – 500th Hai-Kuul Request Contained Within!

Posted on June 30, 2005 by Jorge

Sick of Me Yet? (Requested by Drea)
It would take much more
For you to drive me away
A gun, for instance


Gold to Cole (Requested by Drea)
If the Olympics
Had events for flamboyance
Cole Porter would win!


Blue Clouds (Requested by Drea)
This is what happens
When you replace the Ocean
With blue Kool-Aid drink


Azaleas (Requested by Drea)
Beautiful flowers
That make many people glad
Including grandmas


Tea (Requested by Drea)
A diuretic
In which you can put lemon
And also honey


Montgomery Burns (Requested by Drea)
Springfield’s richest man
Is also most delicate
Smithers wants him bad


Car Seats (Requested by Drea)
Made for child safety
They must be used properly
For them to work right


Political Conclusions (Requested by Drea)
Elections may come
And then elections may go
And still we trudge on


Heathen (Requested by Drea)
Some fear difference
Persecuting others for
A different belief


Northern Shores (Requested by Drea)
The colder waters
Gather their strength at these points
Resisting freezing


Quail (Requested by Drea)
Why are the Quail’s eggs
So much different than the
Eggs of a chicken?


Faery Dust (Requested by Drea)
Magic beyond us
Some believe it makes us fly
I believe it’s drugs


Clairol (Requested by Drea)
Not just hair products
But some of the best marketing
In Earth’s history



The 500th Hai-Kuul Request

Of course Drea would have to be the one who requested it. Given the fact that this gal sends more requests my way than anyone else, she was bound to hit the number. Here it is…


Canada Rocks My Casbah (Requested by Drea)
Our country is great
Not just because of the land
But because of us!




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Filed under: Announcements, Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive, Special Events | 4 Comments »

Material That Shocks Me and MSN

Posted on June 29, 2005 by Jorge

Material That Writes Itself

A wise person once said the best things in life are free.

Sometimes this is true. Especially when it comes to golden bits of dialogue that we come across in everyday that are just plain funny.

I know a character (who shall remain nameless) that has a great outlook on life, and an amazing sense of humour. Part of what makes this person so funny is that half of the time he doesn’t mean to be funny, which makes it all the more hilarious.

I figured I would share a few of these moments with you to brighten your day, because God knows I need it…



Scene 1

This individual got a new cell phone a few months ago. One of the ringtones is the theme song from The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly. On this particular day, his phone rang, and we all laughed, as we usually do.

After his conversation he was talking about his ringtone, and spoke of all of us re-enacting the movie. So I thought I would ask him a simple question…


JORGE: So which one are you? The good, the bad or the ugly?
GUY: I just want to be the horse…



Scene 2

This guy and I were discussing the merits of deodorant. English not being his first language, he was puzzled as to why cologne sometimes translates to toilétte (I always thought it was aftershave, but what do I know?).

Afterwords, the conversation turned to personal usage. I mentioned that I use a little stick deorodorant and a spray of cologne (Tommy – The best). He laughed and implied that it was overkill. This is what was said…


GUY: I don’t use deodorant or cologne.
JORGE: Well I do because I tend to sweat a bit. Maybe you don’t sweat, which might lead me to believe that you don’t really smell bad.
GUY: Well, I do sweat. But I usually plan to go home when I sweat.
JORGE: Well then maybe you do smell.
GUY: Not as bad as other people.
JORGE: Well, you can’t really know that. No one can ever know how bad they really smell, because it’s their own odour, and they habituate.
GUY: Oh. That might explain why I’m still single…


Man, self-writing material is the bomb!



Shock Therapy

It’s been a while since my last TTC rant. This won’t be a long one. It’s not so much about the TTC as it is about stupid people.

I observed a guy get on this morning (during rush hour) and just stand a few feet in from the door. Please note that the subway was crowded, and that if he had taken a few more steps, he would have freed up a path for the ten people behind him to occupy free space beyond the entrance.

Clueless Joe (as I have decided to call him), stood there nearly until the warning bells sounded (which means the doors will close momentarily), and only moved because the gentleman behind him asked politely (three times). Five people never made it on.

I think that the TTC should have workers with cattle prods by every entrance to ensure a smooth operation.



It Just Snuck Up On Me

While it is not apparent, I know for a fact that we have hit our 500th haiku. It hasn’t been written yet, but we are sitting at 486, and the ever-present Drea has submitted 14 (Which makes her last one the 500th).

Unfortunately, I’ve been a bit busy as of late, and I wasn’t paying attention, so I don’t have a photo picked out.

So what I will do is invite Drea to pick a genre of photos from which to draw a new prize (or even a photo itself at my photography page), and the winner of the contest will get that one (8×10). Seeing as she is not allowed to win the main prize (according to the rules, no one can win two main prizes in a row, but can win more than one if their wins are separated by other winners), I figure this is a safe bet.

She will get a 4×6 of whatever she picks, seeing as she requested the 500th haiku.



Kudos to MSN

A big round of applause to MSN for opening up the extended editor. Those of you who are on Spaces know what I’m talking about.

Now we can take even more time out of our lives refining our posts!

Filed under: Humour, Rants, Spaces Archive | 8 Comments »

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