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WTHITA?*******

I am going to hell.

My online english has become atrocious, and I continuously violate the sanctity of the written word in day-to-day e-mails and MSN Messenger.

It’s bad enough that I am met with blank stares from people when I tell them that I have a blog*. But I’ve been catching myself using abbreviated non-words to represent actual words, because, sadly, it’s just faster.

Or maybe I’m just getting lazy.

It all started with the abbreviated text in chat rooms and messenger programs:

Things like LOL**, ROTFLMAO***, HCIFTATFS****.

I remember using them for the first time back in university. I remember how convenient they were to use, and how much they sped up the conversation. Now I have become an abuser, and have taken my crimes to whole new levels. I have started using emoticons as a substitute for words.

For example…



Dave‘s Email: Hey Manus! How was your evening?
Jorge’s Response:
😀


Or…



Shatton‘s E-mail: Jorge! Holy crap! What did you think of that BFME game last night?
Jorge’s Response:
😯


And even…



Reay‘s E-mail: Jorge. How would I get from Union Station to the Airport using the TTC? Do you know which station I would have to transfer at? And do you know which bus I would need to catch?
Jorge’s Response:
🙄
Reay‘s Response: Thanks for nothing, Ass-Hat
Shatton‘s Response:
What are you talking about? It’s so obvious!

(My friend Suzy actually pointed out that I usually finish off every other line in MSN Messenger with a :). I have since gone to therapy to try and solve this problem.)


I’ve become the propagator of online idiocy. The lazy person’s way of communicating. This is not really very good.

What’s worse is that my e-sloth is constantly evolving. I have (as I mentioned before) started using non-words to represent real ones based on how they sound. Non-words like ‘prolly (probably) and mebbe (maybe – which makes no sense, as they contain the same number of letters) have started to infiltrate my dialogue on the net.

The funny thing is that when it comes to profanity, I will usually type out my expletives in full. In fact, I will even add letters to them, or run several together as one word to express my mood. Seventeen exclamation marks after a particularly good swear is not unheard of. So, not only am I lazy in the wrong area of communicating, but I have successfully managed to trip the alarms on all kinds of Spam Alert applications. My friend Reay has created an equation for this…



((H*E)^b)/(((BFME+A)*poo)/B) = S

Where


  • H = how often Jorge replies

  • E = Jorge’s replies of just emoticons

  • b = brown

  • BFME = Number of times Jorge has played Battle For Middle-Earth

  • A = Number of times Jorge has played Academy

  • poo = poo

  • B = Number of times Jorge has played Battlefront

  • S = The % likelihood the message will be SpamBlokkr2000(TM)-trapped e-mail

(Please note that Reay is not a mathematician)



You know things are not good when people are making equations out of your habits*****. I guess we’ll have to see what happens to me on this crazy road to perdition that I have chosen. At least my entries on my blog are written in full. Right?

Ah well.

😉******





* – blog – Web Log. A frequent publication of personal thoughts.
** – LOL – Laugh Out Loud
*** – ROTFLMAO – Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Ass Off
**** – HCIFTATFS – Holy Crap I Forgot To Add The Fabric Softener
***** – REAY = BEDWETTER
****** – 😉 – Van Hammersly
******* – WTHITA? – What The Hell Is This About?

Genetalia Gets Out of Hand. Cleanup in Aisle Three. More at Eleven.

Nothing makes a blog more popular than genitalia.

Well, at least it appears so from my Valentine’s Day entry. Considering I never mentioned anything overtly related to genitalia, I think that is quite an amazing feat. I wonder what would happen if I actually wrote about genitalia. Weird.

However, today’s rant is about the NHL, which has just kicked a lot of season’s pass holders in the genitalia.

I really don’t understand some people. First of all, they whine about how much hockey players get paid. And then when the hockey players are called on it, and denied an opportunity to play, these same people whine about how there is no hockey. Again, this doesn’t apply to all hockey fans. But it does apply to a good number of them

It’s entertaining that people complain during teacher strikes about how teachers are spoiled because they work only three quarters of the year and get a decent pension and summer vacations. Yet some of these same people think hockey players do not get a fair shake. Um….Yeah….

In general, professional sports are overrated. Seriously.

Does a person REALLY need to get paid millions of dollars to have fun? I mean, if this is the case, then maybe I should become a professional Jedi Academy or Battle for Middle Earth Player.

Not to mention the fact that the NHL (among other professional leagues) is not (in my opinion) the greatest place for kids to look for role models. I mean, you have conspiracy, assault, drunken antics, and that’s not even naming half of the crap that goes on.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s a good thing for rabid fans to cool their jets for this season. It might bring things into perspective.  Perhaps amateur sports would make entertainment.  There is more heart there.

Just think that those unfortunate professional hockey players are not getting paid their normal salary. The poor chaps are are getting merely $8000 to $10000 a month for doing nothing now.

Nice…

Another Hallmark Event Passed – And a Recommendation

So, Valentine’s Day has come and gone. Or as my PhD friend calls it, “Made-Up Day”.

I was sitting with my wife for a nice dinner out last night, when I told her that I didn’t really believe in Valentine’s Day. She understandably looked a little shocked, as I am an aspiring romantic, and admittedly enjoy things that would prompt other guys to label me “a sissy” (The last label they would ever give, I might add).

It is true, though, that I don’t really believe in it. In my opinion, Valentine’s Day should not just be limited to one day. And by Valentine’s Day I mean, of course, the non-commercial aspect of it. Yes, I like to buy cards (or make them if I can), and yes, I like to buy flowers. However, I don’t really need a reason for these.

Why am I writing this? One would think that my intentions are to make you think I am cooler than I actually am (which would be an outright lie. I could never make anyone believe that I am actually cooler). In reality, it’s just a reminder to share good experiences with those you care about. Valentine’s Day is great for this because restaurants go out of their way to make things more romantic, and they also step away from their standard fare. I like this. It’s like a one-day Winterlicious.

Once in a while, I will drop the names of some great places to eat. Now, it goes without saying that my opinion of these places is just that: my opinion. So if you go, and have a bad time, please don’t blame me. You can feel free to leave comments here so that other people can judge whether or not they would like to go based on the opinions of more than just one person.

Last night, we went to a restaurant called Merlot. It is located on Bloor St W just East of Royal York Rd. It is a nice French place in The Kingsway. The meal experience there is the opposite of the one that we had at Bloom. The atmosphere is relaxed, and the staff are very nice. The food is out of this world.

We tend to celebrate special events in our lives there, because it rocks.

Let me know if you would like directions.

Zing!

Every so often I’ll hear or say something that everyone thinks is funny. Maybe you will think these thigns are funny, too! Or, maybe you won’t. Either way, I’ll post them here, and maybe people will laugh.

This little exchange happened yesterday. The setting is our local watering hole….



Guy: I am an artist in the bedroom.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yes. My canvas is my bed.
Jorge: Yeah, but your medium is urine, so what does that tell you?

Other Guy: NICE! Best…line…ever…

TTC Woes (Again)

Riding the subway every day usually creates a callous on the soul for most people. I don’t know why it doesn’t seem so for me. Most of the time I just like to watch people, and some of the things they do amuse me. Some things I see are plain stupid, and I’ll become a little annoyed. I can’t seem to turn the emotions off and become a zombie like some people. I’ll give some examples.

One thing that bothers me a little are some of the younger crowd that need to sit.

They make their way onto the subway, and seach for any available seat. This act is not something horrible in and of itself. It is the fact that a lot of these kids don’t get up when an elderly person enters the subway. I rarely take a seat, as I prefer to stand. But if I happen to be sitting, and someone wanders into the car who needs a seat more than I do, I’ll give it up. No questions asked.

Another thing that irks me are the people who have the need to get off the subway before everyone else.

Even before the final approach to the station, a lot of people will elbow and nudge their way past everyone else, just to be in front of the line to get out. What is funny is the fact that half the people they shove past are usually getting out at the exact same station.

In places like Japan and China, the trains are packed to capacity. But from what I understand there is still a fundamental respect for others. There is just a smaller zone of personal space. People pack themselves in like tuna, and flow into any and every empty space possible. No one really cares. People get off at their station when the train stops, because there is nowhere to go.

The worst are those fine, upstanding people who sit down, and then get up and try to get to the front of the exit queue halfway through the ride. This is just silly. And it’s almost always teenagers that do it. As far as I’m concerned a person waives their right to get out of the train first if they are too lazy to stand up near the door.

It’s only fair.