Barking Space

• Buy a model of a complete skeleton. Make sure it is kid-sized. Adult skeleton will not work
• Hang it in a spare closet in the house
• Wait until children misbehave and then start mentioning their older brother who didn’t listen
• Inevitably children’s curiosity will prompt them to ask about said older brother
• Make a show of not wanting to talk about it
• Arrange to have them find the model skeleton by accident
• Problem solved

An Open Invitation

Contact has officially started (actually it started last week). Contact is the largest photo exhibition in North America. It runs for the month of May. Tomorrow (the 7th) there will be an opening for my work at Cornerstone Furniture.

Please come out if you are interested in seeing what it is that I like to photograph (actually, what I have on display is a small cross-section). There are also quite a number of other photographers showing their work in the neighbourhood, making it quite the evening if you like photography.

I will have some munchies and juice, and there will be a guestbook for people to sign.

Check my Photography Page for information.

My Worst Habits

I am a very enthusiastic person. I’m sure this can be quite a positive thing (infectious, hopefully), but at the same time, I know it can annoy the hell out of people.

This enthusiasm leads to some of my worst habits.

Yes, that makes it sound way better than it is. A very annoying thing that I do is tell people that they should go look at something, and then completely describe it in the next breath, thus ruining the wonder of their discovery. This is not to say that I spoil movie endings or anything like that. On the contrary, those are sacred, and the law states that spoiling movies is punishable by castration. No, the things I am referring to are blog entries, or something publicly available for viewing. Sometimes I relate stories to people who aren’t even interested in the topic, but they listen politely, and nod in all the right places.

This is a bad habit that definitely annoys everyone. I will reply to every e-mail that I see in my inbox, regardless of content. I will reply most of the time with short phrases that really are best left untyped.

Observe…

To: All employees
From: CEO
Subject: Meeting
I wanted to thank everyone for coming out to the meeting today. It was a good experience and I think we are all re-affirmed of our place in the market.

Sincerely,
CEO

To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Meeting
The pleasure was ours. The meeting was informative, and I know I took away quite a number of things to consider.

Thanks,
Jorge

To: Jorge
From: CEO
Subject: Re: Re: Meeting
This type of feedback is most appreciated. Have a great day!

Sincerely,
CEO

To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Meeting
You too.

Thanks,
Jorge

To: Jorge
From: CEO
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting
Ok, that’s enough.

With warning,
CEO

To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting
Okay.

Thanks,
Jorge

To: Jorge
From: CEO
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting
Honestly, stop it.

I’m not kidding,
CEO

To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting
Gotcha.

Thanks,
Jorge

To: Jorge
From: CEO
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting
You’re fired.

With Vengeance,
CEO

To: CEO
From: Jorge
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Meeting
🙂

Thanks,
Jorge

It’s odd. I’m not normally about getting in the last word. But something about e-mail induces obsessive-compulsive behaviour in me.

Just thought I would share these with you. I know I torment a lot of you with these things, and so I apologize. Will I stop? Probably not. I at least acknowledge these bad habits though, which is the first step towards building a better illusion for myself.

Filed under: Humour, Spaces Archive, Top 10 | 18 Comments »