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Birthdays Along Give Gathering

Birthdays

Some people believe that birthdays are days that should be celebrated with great fanfare. I’ve never really been one of those people.

My feelings have nothing to do with aging, and little to do with being shy. Honestly, I’m not sure why I feel the way I do.

It might have something to do with the fact that there have been times in the past (before Mrs. J came along) where my birthday has passed with no acknowledgement, save for a phone call from Dave.

Couple that with the fact that my birthday falls on the May long weekend and you have yourself a winner…er…loser for attendance at events thrown on said weekend. It’s the first long weekend of the year, and people tend to be out of town. It’s just the luck of the draw.

So, over the years, I grew to expect nothing special for the anniversary of the day I was born.



Then Along Came…

Mrs. J is accustomed to spending a good week or so celebrating her birthday. While a grand fanfare is not demanded, she certainly enjoys spending her time enjoying spending her time.

I think the only thing she enjoys more than celebrating her birthday is lavishing her loved ones with the same treatment.

And so, my birthdays have been a little bit different for the last seven years.

I usually get two cards, one in the morning and one at night. Each one is carefully picked out and a beautiful message is usually contained within. Mrs. J also gets me very thoughtful gifts. Things that I could use, or that would mean something to me. Sometimes she even bends her rules slightly and gets me something practical that I desperately need.

We sometimes even get to leave the city. One of my birthdays was spent in Niagara Falls, another in Québec City.

So, while I don’t really expect a lot for my birthday, I certainly look forward to it. Even if we do nothing, I know that it will be a wonderful weekend with my wife.



Give the Gift of Gift

I mentioned that sometimes Mrs. J bends her rules and gives me a practical gift. To some this may be a bit disappointing, but I really appreciate it. Getting something practical enables me to spend my money on something else that I may want in the future.

Let’s face it. Practical certainly beats a weird surprise.

Don’t get me wrong, one should appreciate the gift-giving efforts. I’m sure, though, that each of you can think of a gift you have received that made absolutely no sense, as if it screamed I have no idea who you are, but here you go anyway.

This is why Dave and I have created the most efficient and fun gift-giving system.

We will each ask the other what we want for our birthday (or Christmas, for that matter). It’s usually something small, like a DVD or a CD. Then, we will also give something else that we feel the other would like. This way, we each get something we want, as well as a surprise.

This might sound odd to some of you. Perhaps even a bit mechanical. However, if you disagree, let me know when your birthday is and I’ll give you something you would never, ever need, use, or ask for.

For anyone curious about the treasures I got this year…



  • Books – J-Pod by Douglas Coupland, The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie
  • DVDs – The Hilarious House of Frightenstein, Cube, Cowbow Bebop Remix Volumes 3,5,6, Father of the Pride
  • The Legend of Zelda: The Windwaker
  • A 90 minute F/A 18 Hornet flight simulator experience
  • A cast-iron frying pan from Georgia for interior camping*
  • An assortment of fishing lures
  • A one-hour swimming lesson from a national-level Canadian athlete
  • A vintage camera
  • Gift Certificates – MEC, Canadian Tire
  • A boxed set of playing cards with a rulebook and notepad
  • Beef jerky from Chinatown
  • Various drinks – both at the bar, and a thoughtful 8-pack of beers from around the world delivered to my front door


You’re probably scratching your head, but these gifts all meant a lot. My friends are all very generous and wonderful people. Not to mention imaginative.



The Gathering

If anything, I like using my birthday as an excuse to bring together all of my different friends in one place.

I have a very wide variety of friends, most of whom would probably never meet each other under normal circumstances. However, I find that cross-pollinating the groups is a really great thing to do. You never know what sort of overlap you may find.

It was no different this year, when I invited a bunch of people to the Duke of York pub in the Yorkville neighbourhood. It’s a huge, traditional-looking place with lots of seating, a wide assortment of beers on tap, and good food.

I booked a table for twenty. I figured that it wouldn’t matter if we were short, because most places aren’t really busy during the long weekend, on account of people being out of town.

It was a great party. Lots of people came out for drinks. A number were unaware that it was my birthday **, but that didn’t matter. It was just an excuse to get together to have fun.

Everyone got along really well. Much better than I had hoped. Many connections were made, some that will last beyond the weekend. That was really the best gift of all.

I’m sure everyone has memories of Saturday night that they could post here. Shatton already did.

My favourite memory was at the end, when my friend Carlos was saying goodbye…


Carlos: You know, your friends are all really interesting and fun. They’re really great people.
Jorge: I know. That’s why you’re here, too.


Thanks again for a wonderful time, everyone! I know not everyone could make it***, but it was still a great evening!




* – Cooking a fish caught during the trip in anything less would be a sin.
** – This is completely fine. The last thing I wanted was for people to change plans on account of me. I also didn’t want people to think it was some kind of gift-grab.
*** – You know who you are. It was especially good to speak to some of you telephonically that day.

Depressive Missive

Preramble

A friend of mine has been feeling under the weather (emotionally) lately, and I told her something that actually took me by surprise.

Actually, it was something of an epiphany that allowed me to understand myself a lot better, or at least understand the way I used to be.

It’s essentially my thoughts on depression and why it’s something that’s so hard to shake.
I hope you enjoy it.


Depressive Missive

Depression is one of the biggest problems that plagues our society today. It’s a silent assasin that steals your happiness away from you.

Certainly there are many levels of you upon which it feeds: Mental. Emotional. Physical.

Perhaps this is why it is so hard to pin down.

Is it wrong? I’m not so sure.

We, each of us, is entitled to being in the dumps once in a while. But letting ourselves stay there is when the problem becomes severe.

Why do we let it stay?

Well, let’s just drag the reason out into the light: Sometimes, malaise can become so comfortable that it becomes a habit. We become negative. Withdrawn. We look at ourselves in the mirror and wonder why we would even bother to pick ourselves up and start fresh because we are useless.

So we sink further into the black hole.

This is only really a stop-gap, though. We simply end up at one step waiting to take the next one down a flight that leads us to complete and utter despair. Therefore, the easy way of surrendering to sadness appears more attractive in the face of the hard work to start climbing back up into the light.

But that’s where one would be wrong.

It is only perceived to be easier, when in fact, it will probably turn into just as much work.

Consider the alcoholic: At first, there is simply drinking. After a while, though, there is the withdrawal and the need to fill the emptiness with more drinking, which at this point may take some footwork to achieve.

The same goes for depression. You end up living to sip the next bit of malaise.

Is that’s why it’s so hard to stop? Maybe, like happiness, the body considers depression and sadness to be a deviation from the norm*, and thus wants more because it is different.

Perhaps this may seem odd, but I seriously wonder if that’s what may be happening. Depression and happiness could be two sides of the same coin, affecting the body with the same method yet yielding different results.

It would certainly explain why it affects us on so many levels. It would be something that integrates itself into the fabric of our being, and would take a great deal of coaxing to get it to let go.

Think of it as putting your foot on the accelerator of a car. Almost everyone craves the feeling of more speed. But does it matter what direction they are going in?

I think this might be something I would like to continue to explore. Perhaps you can help with your comments?




* – See this article about contentment.

Wurdz

Do You Remember…

First, read this…




Cocometer? Click here!


We had this conversation a while ago, Shatton and I.

With all of the alternative language being spoken today (think shizzle and pwned). I wondered where these came from.

As kids, we sometimes invent words based on our ideas of what something is. At other times, we try to say the grownup word for something and end up fudging it up a little (or a lot).

I used to have names for practically everything. Even different styles of hubcaps each had their very own moniker.

What sort of words did you use when you were a kid that you can still remember? What did they represent?

Devyl Blue

The Devyl You Know…

My article about chivalry the other day had me thinking about equality issues this weekend.

I ended up coming across some equality literature written by women (read: womyn*).

Think about this…

A lot of these groups will insist that God is a woman, and yet there is no mention that the devil is anything other than male.

Why is this?



Black and Blue. But Mostly Black.

I spent most of yesterday watching some friends of mine grade for their black belt.

I have to say that I was nothing short of proud and impressed. They all did an excellent job, and I’m looking forward to seeing them get their certificates for the levels they have achieved.

It makes me very proud to train with these people. They are an excellent example of martial artists.

Way to go, guys!




* – I will never ever understand this.

Chivalry

Chivalry Is Not Dead. It Never Existed

Today, an older gentleman (and I use that term loosely) gave me pause to think about why men hold doors for women.

Is it to be polite? A gesture of respect?

No.

It’s so that a man can stare at a woman’s caboose without being obvious to her.

This morning on the subway, an attractive young woman and an old man were both standing at the door. When the subway came to a halt, the doors opened, and the man gestured for her to go first…


Old Man: After you, young lady.
Young Lady: Wow. Thank you!


She strolled happily through the door.

As she did so, the old man literally stared at her butt. He leaned down and looked at it.

I shook my head.