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The Wilderness Greeting

A Return From the Wilderness

I just returned from an interior camping trip today and I am beat. The one crappy thing about camping is cleaning up and putting away everything you used for the trip. I will post more about the trip in the days to come.

In the mean time, I will post a link to ten of the photos I took during the trip. I took more, of course, but these are among what I consider to be the best ones.

You can check them out here.



A Birthday Greeting

Warm wishes to my friend Elbie. I’ve known this guy since university, and he is a wonderful friend. Quirky and highly intelligent, he will go that extra mile to make sure you’re always taken care of. So here’s to him! Happy Birthday, man!


The little boy grew
Another year this fine day
Good tidings to him

An Extra Impractical Not-Quite-Connected Rubber Magnifico

An Extra, Extra Long Weekend

Well, I’ll be gone on a camping trip this weekend, so you won’t be hearing from me for a while. My last non-haiku entry ended up being somewhat serious. However, it seemed to generate a lot of great comments and that is a good thing.

This entry will be comprised of several not-so-serious pieces.

Have yourselves a great week, and I’ll be back on Monday!



Impractical Fashion

I understand that there are some articles of clothing out there that raise some eyebrows. Most of these are worn to make a statement, and they end up either showing more skin, or accenting something else. It’s all good.

However, when the style becomes an act of idiocy I shake my head.

I saw a girl on the subway the other day, who was probably fifteen or sixteen (it’s hard to tell because I’m convinced they put breast-growth juice™ in the water in Toronto). She was wearing a tank top which showed off her midriff (which is an acceptable thing, for the most part, these days), and she had on black cotton panties. There was nothing really all that special about them.

They were very plain. I could even draw a picture for you.

How could I do this? How do I know what they looked like so well? Easy. She was wearing her pants below her butt. I kid you not. Rather than allowing her hips to do the work of holding up her pants, she seemed to have decided that it would be far more efficient to wear her pants in a way that caused them to fall down every ten seconds.

When fashion becomes physically impractical it becomes stupid. I was hoping for some kind of emergency evacuation, just to see her try to run with her pants constantly falling down…



Not Quite Connected

Another little tidbit of conversation between Dave and I. We’ve known each other for so long that the stupidest things seem funny. I have no idea how this conversation came up, but Dave turned it into something so silly that it became hilarious. Well, it did for us, anyway…


Jorge: So, I was talking to this girl once about a female hygiene problem.
Dave: Yeah?
J: You know, a problem that has something in common with an ingredient involved in baking bread.
D: Flour?
J: And an ingredient involved in making beer.
D: Rolling pins?
J: There you go.


Incidentally, the girl I was talking about was not my wife. Also please bear in mind that I don’t just talk to women about these kinds of things for no reason. I believe that a commercial aired around the time of that discussion involving a yeast infection treatment. It was quite funny, as the commercial addressed a man’s awkwardness in dealing with stuff like that. As a solution to this problem, the commercial had a small picture-in-picture window in the bottom righthand corner with a football game in progress, just for the guys.

Classic.



Rubber Johnny

Has anyone seen this film? It is insane. It is a bit creepy, but you have to stick with it to see the really strange part. Check it out. There is no way you can predict movies like this.



Cinco Magnifico

Last year on our trip, one of our friends would handle things in the fire with his bare hands. This earned him the nickname Gloves For Hands. This sparked a conversation about what the rest of us should be called…


Jorge: So, if you’re Gloves For Hands, what does that make me?
B: How about Big Sack?
J: Er….How did you get that?
B: Because you have a big sack?


(Incidentaly, he was referring to the obscenely large backpack I had bought for the trip. The capacity was 110L. It was crazy.)

And so, the Cinco Magnifico was born. A group of superheroes with strange powers. The best power, though, was Prehensile Penis Man (Dave, of course). How did we come up with that name? I don’t even remember.

To celebrate our newfound diversion, I created some t-shirts. During the design process, I was chatting with Dave about logo colours. Essentially, each guy would have a simple man symbol (like the one on washroom doors), with the appropriate part changed to match the power (The logo for Gloves For Hands for example, has red oven mitts superimposed onto the hands of the man symbol). You can imagine what would be superimposed onto the man symbol for the Prehensile Penis Man t-shirt…


Jorge: So I am almost finished with the t-shirts.
Dave: Sweet. Does they look good?
J: I think so. I just need to finish the logos.
D: Awesome.
J: So, what colour do you want your penis?
D: Man, the things you say out loud on the phone.
J: Seriously. I need a colour for each guy. Mine is blue, what do you want yours to be?
D: I don’t know. Purple?
J: Okay.
D: Wait a minute. I don’t know about that now…
J: Don’t worry, it’s just a symbol. Besides, it will be the standard run-of-the-mill purple, not an engorged, veiny purple.
D: That sounds so much better now.


Yep. That the way we usually hash out our ideas. Scary, huh?

I Like the Creative Education Story

Why I Like Superman

A lot of my close friends will tell you that I am obsessed with Superman. Not in a crazy-nutcase-fan way, but in a more subtle, thoughtful way.

One of my favourite shows of all time is the animated series created in 1996. In my opinion it is more consistent than the comic books (which change the story every five seconds).

I recently ordered this on DVD, and I was watching an episode the other day when my wife sat down beside me to pass some time. She’s pretty cool for watching some of my favourite shows with me and asking questions about the characters.

She asked me why I liked Superman above all other superheroes.

This was a good question. I told her I would think about it, and here is the result.

To say I like Superman might be a bit of a misleading statement. Instead, I’ll state that I have a particular vision of Superman that I really like a lot. To find out what this images is, and why I like it, we’ll have to start at the beginning.

Growing up, I would catch episodes of Superman on television. Superman was even on Sesame Street once. As a kid, I liked the fact that superman could fly, and that he was very strong. Above those qualities, I admired him for his principles, and how he would use his gifts to help those who needed assistance. One thing that I really wanted to be when I was a child was helpful (who knows what happened since then).

Here was a guy who had unlimited potential. He could use his powers to get money and toys and whatever else my imagination could think of, and yet he just helped out.

As I got older, my mother introduced me to comic books. She bought a big box and I would read and re-read everything in there. I used to know most of the stories by heart. I enjoyed some of them immensely.

Unfortunately, not all of them were to my liking. Being a nerdy kid, I had a better-than-average understanding of science. A lot of what happened in the comic books was very odd, and didn’t make sense. Also, at that time, I would watch Justice League of America and Superfriends on television. Superman was much stronger in these newer cartoons. In fact, in one episode the Earth’s orbit was disrupted, sending our planet hurtling into the sun. Superman actually moved the planet back into orbit.

While superpowers are a thing of fantasy, this didn’t really jive with me. No one should ever be that powerful. It was too fantastic.

I fell out of my Superman admiration phase, and kept up with Batman. I started reading more Marvel comics, and enjoyed Daredevil and Wolverine. Two of the most flawed heroes you can imagine. Superman had no flaws anymore, and that made him uninteresting.

Fast forward to my university days and a book called Kingdom Come. This comic book should be read by everyone. It is the story of how Superman leaves Metropolis because people want more violent heroes. Eventually things spiral out of control and he comes back. It’s a great commentary on the state of comics, and on the state of people in these modern times. There are moments where Superman believes that he is right in taking control of the situation. But then there are times when he despairs at his lack of perspective, and has no idea what to do.

This book portrayed the most human Superman ever, in my opinion. I was hooked again. The regular series was mediocre, and enjoyable enough, but it didn’t strike as resonant a chord as Kingdom Come did.

Shortly after the release of that book the new animated Superman show aired. Superman was not so perfect. He took his lumps, and he got angry just like a normal person. While mostly benevolent, he had his moments where it looked like he was thinking about pounding the crap out of some criminal.

In the pilot episode a large battle suit is stolen. The terrorists use it against Superman. Over and over the terrorist John Corben keeps hammering Superman with all manner of weaponry. Finally Superman takes the suit apart, pulls John out, and asks (with a very angry expression) maybe we can go a few rounds without the suit? It is this realistic emotional portrayal of a fictional character that really draws me to the series.

To me, this is Superman. A person gifted with power who tries his best to do good and fit in. A person who makes mistakes, and has his share of problems, but does his best to persevere in the face of adversity (and the occasional alien invasion). Plus the costume is cool.

What’s not to like?



Another Creative Spam Name

Anyone remember Brontosaurus B. Intemperance?

Well I think I got a spam from his brother…


Uncomplimentary H. Fuzziness


Wow. The believability of that name is hard to dispute.



Ire Education

A friend of mine sent me a news article that talked about how the word fail should be banned from British classrooms. It would be replaced with the phrase deferred success to ensure that students are not demoralized.

Indeed, even here in Canada it’s getting harder to give students accurate marks. Failed student statistics are usually made to reflect poorly on the teacher, and ultimately on the Principals.

Sugar-coating failure is just another step towards the softening of our society. Shielding children from negativity is just going to create a false sense of security which will lead to problems.

Unfortunately, it’s our government that implements the policies that lead to this idiocy. Most likely it is about keeping our country competitive in the global arena.

Our government doesn’t want Canadian kids to look stupid, as that would eventually reflect poorly on our country.

Much better to make them falsely look good so they can display all of their stupidity to the world later when they become politicians.



What’s Your Story?

I received a comment a while back from someone from MSN who indicated that I might be on What’s Your Story?.

Essentially it’s a front page to MSN Spaces that highlights a couple of blogs and also has a section highlighting other spaces (which changes on a weekly basis).

Unfortunately, due to the fact that I have profanity on my blog (mostly in the Hai-Kuul section) I didn’t make the cut. What’s Your Story? is a family-rated space, so profanity is a no-no.

If you are planning on making it onto there, I would suggest you change your swearing ways.

I also want to take this opportunity to thank MSN for considering me. It feels great to be recognized for creativity.

Exhibition of Antics and Blood

Exhibition Today

Today is the day that we are holding the reception for our photo exhibition. My friend Mark and I have a show we’ve called Town and Country. If you are in the neighbourhood tonight, come out and hang with us!

Munchies will be served (yes, the famous Banana Bread that I make), and the venue is pretty cool. Salvador Darling (1237 Queen St W) is a clothing store with a twist.

The exhibition will be going until August 12. However, tonight is the only night that both Mark and I will be there.



Dave and Jorge Antics Redux

Recently, I was having a chat with Dave. The topic turned to Legends of the Fall. The following is what was said…


J: I don’t care what people think of me. I like that movie a lot.
D: Yeah?
J: Yes. Although it is kinda funny how Julia Ormond gets around in the movie.
D: Indeed
J: [Poorly imitating Julia Ormond‘s voice.] I like you, and you and you. But I especially like you because you’re the biggest. How do I know? Because I had all three of you, and I know fo’ sho!
D: [Chuckling.] Man, she fell off the face of the Earth. I wonder why?
J: They stopped making movies about the woman in the middle.
D: True enough.
J: Except porn, of course.
D: That’s where she is…


Why did I use the word redux in the heading? I don’t know. I’ve always thought it a cool word…



How Many Bloody Posts?

I think I’ve posted more in the past 24 hours than I have in my life. What the hell is with that? Weird.

Have a Great Weekend!

Hey all! Just a quick note to have a great weekend. I might not be answering for a few days, so make sure you enjoy yourselves, and check out the blog tome on the right side bar. You might be able to get your fix there!