Barking Space

Tien’s Stag or The Weekend of Debutchery in Montréal (Day 1)

This past weekend saw me, your faithful Barking Space creator travelling to Montréal for a stag.

It was not a typical stag though…

• There was no significant consumption of alcohol
• There were no visits to strip clubs
• There was no clubbing and endless flirting with members of the opposite sex as a last hurrah

I’m sure a lot of people would find this odd.

Tien doesn’t drink for reasons of his own (I think he’s only had a glass of wine in his whole life), so we didn’t really imbibe. In fact, I never ordered anything alcoholic all weekend to support my friend’s stag style. What about strip clubs? I know that I, for one, don’t particularly care for strip clubs. They tend to cut into my drinking money. As for the clubbing aspect, none of us are really into the meat market thing. I know a lot of guys drag the groom-to-be to a strip club or dance club under the guise of having a celebration of the last night of freedom. They push the groom to do stuff that he should be doing to celebrate his last chance at going out like: getting blitzed, scoring with women and making an ass of himself. I find that the friends of the groom are the ones who usually use these events as an excuse to misbehave themselves. That is their right, I suppose. Later, when they get home, it’s their wives’ right (usually a jab) followed by a left cross to the face. Spectacular.

No, Tien’s stag was none of this.

Tien wanted to go to Montréal to eat.

That’s right.

The only deadly sin we committed this weekend was the sin of gluttony.

The Reason?

Tien used to attend McGill University in Montréal when he was younger. Montréal is a city that he remembers fondly and he returns to this wonderful place any chance he gets.

Tien also loves food.

Montréal has a lot of wonderful food. So it seemed the perfect way to celebrate was to travel to his favourite city, to eat his favourite foods, with his favourite friends (most of us are his groomsmen).

I have to admit that I was a little skeptical at the beginning. I don’t normally drive distances in excess of 500 km just to eat food.

But it turned out to be a great idea.

So Many Choices, So Little Time

The weekend started off with Tien, Dan and I driving to Montréal. Other than a quick stop at McDonalds and a quick fill-up of gas along the way, the drive was uneventful. We arrived in Montréal in the evening and met up with Sanny (Tien’s sister) to dump our stuff at her place (where we were staying for the weekend).

It wasn’t long before we were headed out to our first eating location…

Kanda

Kanda is a sushi restaurant around the corner from Sanny’s place.

They have an all-you-can-eat sushi special. $27.99 for as much sushi as you can cram into your stomach…

Click to enlarge…

We walked in and joined Steve (another one of the groomsmen) and his wife Lisa at the table Sanny had reserved for us.

I hadn’t met Steve (or Lisa) before. They’re both really nice people.

Lisa wasn’t really into sushi, so she didn’t partake in the buffet. In truth, I caught her staring at us wide-eyed later on, most likely in disbelief.

I don’t blame her.

We probably had at least a hundred pieces of sushi and sashimi hit the table within fifteen minutes of sitting down.

I know I personally had over fifty pieces the whole evening (I was a little behind due to the fact that I ate a big lunch). Dan ate most of the white tuna sashimi in about two minutes.

It was a great way to start of the weekend, especially when Dan turned to Sanny (while she was eating a handroll, no less) and asked this question…

Do you have enough toilet paper at home?

We were joined by guy named Mike later on (DJ Static to the locals), who could also put the food away. You’d never know by looking at him that he could probably eat a whole buffalo given a fork and a few drops of HP Sauce.

This meal experience was great. The Sushi at this place was delicious, and the service wasn’t too bad either.

Character Profile

Name: Tien
Height: Short
Eating Prowess: Once I watched Tien eat a 32 Oz steak, with all the trimmings as well as dessert. There were four of us at the table. He ate as much meat as the rest of us combined. Tien also never gains weight.
Trip Highlight: Eating everything in front of him without pause.

The Bagel Marathon

After Kanda, Sanny was in the mood for dessert. Unfortunately, Mike hosts a radio show, so he had to leave us. We walked him to his street, and then continued on to our destination. Sanny figured Rockaberry would be a great place to get dessert, so we made our way to there. After that we would head over to Fairmont to pick up bagels.

When we got to Rockaberry, it was crowded, and there were not a lot of desserts left.

We figured we’d cut our losses and head over to Fairmount.

Fairmount Bagel is a wonderful place. A magical wonderland where the best bagels in the world are made…

Click to enlarge…

It’s a modest building that you would think contains elves that do nothing but make bagels all day, every day.

In actuality, it’s a bunch of hairy guys who laugh a lot (And a girl, actually, who was not as hairy). The place is actually open every day, every hour, all year round.

We picked up some bagels, and Tien insisted that we eat them, as they were fresh out of the oven.

It does taste good, but I believe that freezing them, microwaving them for twenty seconds and then throwing in the toaster oven for a minute will yield the same experience.

Character Profile

Name: Sanny
Size: Petite
Eating Prowess: Sanny can eat as much as Tien and not gain a pound. We suspect that she has a dimensional rift in her stomach that leads to some poor girl on the other side of the planet, who eats nothing, but constantly gains weight.
Trip Highlight: Goading everyone into eating more and then eating more than them.

The Long and Winding Road

After Fairmount, we headed back to Sanny’s place. It was past midnight by now.

Dan looked extremely uncomfortable the whole time. The fact that he ate so much sushi so fast probably had a lot to do with it.

We walked a lot that night. All over town, it seemed.

We eventually ended up back at Sanny’s place (Steve and Lisa went back to their hotel), and ended up falling into a stuffed slumber.

Character Profile

Name: Mike (aka DJ Static)
Size: Skinny as a toothpick
Eating Prowess: Mike will eat poutine anytime, anywhere.
Trip Highlight: Arriving late for dinner and then catching up to us by the end.

More to Come

Click here for the rest.

Filed under: Anecdotes, Friends, Spaces Archive, Special Events | 8 Comments »