Every once in a while I have a conversation with someone that is so funny to me that I revisit it several times to brighten my day…

[Chris walks up to Jorge.]
Chris: Hey. Have you had your flu shot?
Jorge: Nope.
Chris: I’m going to go over and get mine now. Wanna come along?
Jorge: Nope.
Chris: Oh. Okay.
Jorge: Yeah. I’ve never actually had a flu shot.
Chris: Fair enough.
Jorge: I hope you don’t think less of me.
Chris: I don’t think that’s actually possible.


Silver Platter


These days I haven’t really been feeling all that great. A general meh I suppose. Reasons? I have no idea, or maybe I do. In any case, I’ve got Mrs. J and Baby J, so I’m guaranteed at least ten smiles a day.

But once in a while, someone from the outside world (ie: the world outside my home) says something that just makes me crack the hell up…

[Jorge is in Home Depot, talking to one of the employees about topsoil. They’ve talked about how to tackle a particular problem and have moved on to part of the solution…]
Jorge: So, now that I know how to deal with my gravel pit, I guess I should ask you what sort of topsoil I should buy? And how much?
HD Guy: Triple Mix. But honestly? Given the size of your job, I wouldn’t buy any bags from here. It would be cheaper to get it in bulk from a garden center.
Jorge: Seriously? Wow. That’s good to know.
HD Guy: Well, you could get bags from here. Next weekend they are going on sale for ninety-nine cents a bag. That’s dirt cheap, man.
Jorge: It certainly is. Good one, dude.


Is That the Date? Yikes!


I haven’t posted in a while. Sue me.

I’ve been busy with other things, thus sending this place to the end of my list of priorities.

That being said, today I am going to post a whack of MSN conversations.

It’s not much, I know, but enjoy!

President Evil

My friend Shatton talking about his complicated approach to Resident Evil 4

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One of the rare occasions where we had more than two people in a chat window at once. It’s rare for good reason, apparently…

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Hot Brown…

My friend Shatton has game nights every friday at his place. Due to me being busy half the time, I tend to miss out on the fun. Here he tries to entice me…

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Sleep? That’s Where I’m a Viking!

I enjoy utilizing the drawing feature of MSN Messenger.

Observe as I render a true-to-life portrait of Dave

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Does Not Compute…

Kim and I were having a perfectly civil conversation when my silly sense of humour hijacked our window and drove us to the state of insanity…

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Rituro and I share a love of gaming. We also share a love of Hulk-dominated conversations…

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Here is a conversation between Kelly and I about friendship…

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Not content with our previous level of insight, Kelly and I change gears…

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Here I demonstrate to Tug that I have a one-track mind…

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Did you know that Dr. Beth is a being who can defy the laws of physics? I sure didn’t…

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Valentine’s Props

A Valentine’s Tale

This story was originally told to me by one of my psychology profs at University. It is about an exchange between her and her young son, and the result of that exchange. I’m embelleshing the story a little, by fooling around with the format (third person vs. first person).

Some small details might have changed slightly, as I am getting old and my memory is failing, but the bulk of it is spot-on. For the ease of the story we’ll call my prof Mrs. BF and we’ll call her son Danny

Mrs. BF and her husband had friends over every Valentine’s Day. It was an annual ritual that they looked forward to. She was in the kitchen, preparing dinner when her son walked in.

” Hey mom, ” he said.

” Hello, sweetie, ” she replied, ” Is there something I can do for you? “

” Not really, ” smiled the six-year-old tyke.

” Really? ” She looked dubious.

” Well, ” he scuffed his feet together, shy about what he was about to say, ” I was wondering if I could help with stuff? “

Mrs. BF looked surprised. Her eyes softened, and she tousled his hair, ” That’s very sweet, Danny. “

Danny blushed and hugged his mom’s leg.

Mrs. BF looked around the kitchen for something her son could do. She still needed to take care of dinner and set the table. He was too small to handle hot cookware, and a little too clumsy to handle the china, so she decided that she would let him have a very special job.

” Danny, ” she reached over and grabbed the cake that she had baked and iced earlier that afternoon, ” I have a big job for you. “

” Really? ” he looked excited.

” Yes, ” she winked, walking over to the kitchen table and placing the cake down on it. She grabbed a tube of red frosting and helped him up onto the chair, ” I would like you to decorate the cake. “

” Really? ” he looked stunned, ” REALLY, Mom? “

” Yes, ” she smiled, foldly remembering him watching her decorate a birthday cake earlier that year, ” Your writing is much neater now than it used to be, and I think it’s time for you to do some grown-up stuff. “

” That’s so cool! ” he beamed.

” Here you go, ” she gave him the tube.

” Um, ” he scratched his head with his free hand, ” What should I do? “

” Why don’t you write Happy Valentine’s Day? ” she went to the refrigerator and removed one of the cards she had received, placing it on the table next to the cake, ” You can use that as a guide. “

” Wow! Thanks, mom! ” Danny kissed her, and looked at the cake, sizing it up.

Mrs. BF was too busy to supervise the tyke, but she would steal glances as she walked by. She took note of how careful he was writing each letter.

A fair amount of time had gone by, and she saw the word Happy in surprisingly neat, large letters on the cake.

After that, she paid him no mind, allowing him to do his special job, allowing herself to trust him complete his task.

The guests were about to arrive, and she was straightening out the dining room table when she heard him call out from the kitchen.

” Mom, I’m done! ” he sounded very proud, ” Did you want to check it? “

She had her hands full, and didn’t really have time to spare to see his handiwork. She figured she’d enjoy it later.

” No, it’s okay Danny, ” she called, back, ” Just put the lid on it, and we’ll serve it later! “

” Okay, ” he replied.

A few minutes later he came out of the kitchen, all smiles. He ran up to his mom and hugged her.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Company had arrived.

A sumptuous dinner came and went, and Mrs. BF went to the kitchen to fetch the cake that she made and her son decorated.

She brought it out in its container with the opaque lid still on, aiming to maximize her pride in her son by making it a big presentation, and placed it on the table in front of everyone.

” I now present to you the great work of Danny the cake decorator, ” she then lifted the lid off of the cake with a flourish.

There was stunned silence, and then good-natured laughter followed by clapping all around the table.

It seems that Danny had not budgeted his space properly, and the latter part of the message had to be abbreviated…



I don’t normally give into the commercialism of Valentine’s Day.

I think it’s important to share well-wishes with your loved ones often, and not just on special days.

To that end, here are three haiku for three people I mentioned recently…

To the Blife
You make blogging fun
Keep DC warm for our gang
Don’t hog the blossoms

To the Mife
You rock all kinds, dude
Thanks for your support and your
Eternal friendship

To My Wife
What else can I say?
The world is a better place
With you living here

Love to all,