Alternatives

Owning a Language

My daughter loves a wide variety of music; we listened to a lot of different styles of music even when she was an infant. So, it’s not strange to hear her singing something by Creedence Clearwater Revival, or Corb Lund.

The other day, after coming back from the Zoo, she was singing a song, and kept changing one of the words to a non-word; it still worked in the context of the song, and it made sense in the way that she used it, but it was still not really correct…

J: Sweetheart, that’s not the right word.
Little J: I know. I’m just using a different kind of English.
J: A different kind of English?
Little J: Yeah. It’s mine.

Smart alek.


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If You’re Gonna Send Something…

Is There a New Word?

Spam is most idiotic thing ever. Wait. Scratch that. The people that must be clicking on the links in spam e-mails (thus propagating the spam in such volume) are the most idiotic things ever. Spam is second place.

As much as I hate the idea of spam, what I really can’t stand about it is how horrible the spelling is in a lot of those joyful notes. Yes, I understand that some worlds are required to be misspelled, due to the fact that they will pass through the spam filters more successfully. V agin eh will surely be more successful than its properly spelled counterpart. But once in a while the “typos” make me laugh.

I received an ad for a bone-ified sexual enhancer this morning (whose name begins with “v”) with the following subject line…

Be a superstart in bed!

Seriously, what the hell does that even mean?

I’m thinking about starting a company to proof-read these things. I’d make a crap-ton of money, I think. Anyone want in on this action?

In the interim, I am curious to know what people think would be a good word for spam that’s obviously written by idiots who can’t spell. Fill the comments field, folks.