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Hai-Kuul – June 03, 2005

Posted on June 3, 2005 by Jorge

Guest Book (Requested by -deadites-)
When you visit me
Leave a piece of you behind
Please write in the book


Not Anymore (Requested by princess_castle)
You never listen
I’m closing this chapter now
And walking away


Drowned (Requested by princess_castle)
You are all around
You saturate my senses
Now it is too much


There Was (Requested by princess_castle)
A long time ago
I remember my grandpa
Cheating at card games


Thx! But No… (Requested by princess_castle)
You offer peanuts
But I’m allergic to them
Thanks, but you keep them


Just To Be Nice (Requested by princess_castle)
Take the time to smile
Help people for no reason
Make a better world


No Need To Please Me (Requested by princess_castle)
It’s nice that you try
But I’m happy as I am
Save Your Energy


So What… (Requested by princess_castle)
You argued with me
Pepsi is better than Coke
I don’t really care


Something Wrong With Her (Requested by princess_castle)
Her eyes lack lustre
And her bruises speak of pain
I hope she’s okay


They Don’t Date (Requested by princess_castle)
They laugh and cuddle
But they’ve never shared a kiss
I guess they’re just friends


I Am Indian (Requested by princess_castle)
I come from a place
With over a billion folks
Who eat jalebis


I’m not sure if Michaelmage meant for this to be an entry, but I took it as such…


Happy Guest Book Signing Day (Requested by Michaelmage)
Another blog “thing”
I’m too busy for this stuff
Writing my haiku


I Hate Sales Reps (Requested by My Wife)
All day they’re babbling
About how much they rake in
And yet they don’t work


Don’t Leave Three Minute Voicemails (Requested by My Wife)
You just called me up
And left too huge a message
Get to the point, dick


Shut the Fuck Up (Requested by My Wife)
You are in my face
And you are making no sense
You know where to go


Snowfall In July (Requested by TeresaDawn-Armetiel)
Why is it snowing?
It is so improbable
Here in Florida




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Filed under: Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive | 9 Comments »

Fig-tionary – June 03, 2005

Posted on June 3, 2005 by Jorge

worj (Requested by princess_castle)

  1. Function: noun – to work in Armenia – Usage: My friend Berj plans to worj this summer.




*Remember, you can submit a request for a crazy definition for a typo by clicking here. You can read about the Fig-tionary here.

Filed under: Fig-tionary, Spaces Archive | 1 Comment »

Knockback Apology In the Night

Posted on June 2, 2005 by Jorge

Knockbacks In Toronto Part Deux

I wanted to thank Ian for coming over last night with a bottle of wine! Mrs. Jorge and I enjoyed the company of the Haligonian, and we conferenced The Shellie on the phone to make the triumverate complete. Talk about your crazy parties!

It’s always great to make new friends, especially when they are as nice as Ian. We enjoyed cedar-plank barbecued salmon, some grilled veggies, and some fine beers and wine. For dessert we had cholocate chip, walnut/brown sugar encrusted banana bread.

A great time was had by all.



Hai-Kuul Apology

I want to apologize if I don’t get any Hai-Kuuls out today. I don’t usually like writing them at work, so I write them at home the night before and e-mail them in so the format conforms to the style that I like.

I worked on a whole whack of them last night and e-mailed them to work so I could post them, but I don’t see them in my inbox. I’ll be right pissed if they went the way of the dodo, to be sure.

Stay tuned!



Sometime Quietly During Tuesday Night…

My blog slipped into the 10000+ region. Thanks to all of you for your support. While I am not normally a stats whore, this information made me a bit giddy yesterday.

Filed under: Friends, General Dialogue, Spaces Archive | 5 Comments »

Hai-Kuul – June 02, 2005 (250th Hai-Kuul Request Inside This Entry!)

Posted on June 2, 2005 by Jorge

It’s a good thing these arrived. Having them lost in cyber-space would suck donkeys.

Enjoy!


Stupid Questions From Stupid People (Requested by Cat)
Why do you bother?
When you open your big mouth
I hear naught but crap


Bite Me (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
I have had enough
Get off my cloud, you jackass
Go play in traffic


Fly Away (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Imagination
One of the most powerful
Forces in the world


Gorillas In the Mist (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Jane Fossey was cool
She showed the world a new way
To eat bananas


Closed Eyes (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
I’m tired of counting
I can hear you. You’re close by
Time for me to seek


Gin and Juice (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
I’ve become thirsty
But in a specific way
Bring on my alky


Minty (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Gargle your mouthwash
When breath is smelling funky
Guaranteed Action


Misogynist (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Why do you hate girls?
There is nothing wrong with them
Something’s wrong with you


Frizzy Hair (Requested by edplue79)
Don’t mess with the hair
It has a life of its own
It will mess you up


Being Bloated (Requested by edplue79)
I ate too much food
Sitting here on this sofa
I might just explode


Girls In Short Skirts (Requested by edplue79)
They have confidence
They are proud of their bodies
Check out those gams, yo!


Trucker Caps (Requested by edplue79)
They’re full of sweat stains
Telling the tale of the road
Here comes the convoy!


I Accidentally Farted (Requested by edplue79)
Why here? And why now?
At the worst possible time
During my review


Pink Cadillac (Requested by St-Martini-of-the-Vodka)
I’m cruising along
Top down and wind in my hair
Pinnacle of cool


Birthday Party For a Cat (Requested by TeresaDawn-Armetiel)
Happy Birthday, cat
I made you this cake out of
Little, fuzzy mice


Congrats to VisitingSweethonesty for requesting the 250th Hai-Kuul! While she doesn’t win the main prize, it’s certainly something to be recognized! You will receive a small token of appreciation at the end of this contest.


Crazy Ex’s (Requested by VisitingSweethonesty)
What’s with these people?
For sure, that is the last time
I use Lavalife


On with the show…


Tony. Danza. (Requested by patresa74)
Who’s the boss? He is!
Only on his own talk show
Crazy tapdancer




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Filed under: Announcements, Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive | 11 Comments »

Fig-tionary – June 02, 2005

Posted on June 2, 2005 by Jorge

adgenda (Requested by TeresaDawn-Armetiel)

  1. Function: noun – an ideological plan or program delivered through obvious (almost forceful and hypnotic) advertisements – Usage: Some of the latest handheld gaming systems have a crazy adgenda.




*Remember, you can submit a request for a crazy definition for a typo by clicking here. You can read about the Fig-tionary here.

Filed under: Fig-tionary, Spaces Archive | 2 Comments »

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