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Where Did He Go?

Posted on October 7, 2005 by Jorge

It’s Like I’m Never Here

Hey all, I’m off to Ottawa to be a [handsome] groomsman in one of my best friend’s weddings. Barring any unforseen meteor showers or ninja attacks, I suspect that it will be a great celebration. So I will say congratulations to Natalie and Tien right now, on their tying the knot!

All of you others best behave while I am away. I’ll know what you’re doing, even though I’m not here. I have eyes and ears everywhere.

You can keep yourselves occupied reading my Guide to Toronto. I mean it. This entry that I am writing right now has bumped it down the queue.

Oh yes, be sure to click on the Best of Barking Space link on the side and vote for your favourite stories. It’s kinda tough to have a top ten when you only have eight items on the list.

Filed under: General Dialogue, Spaces Archive, Special Events | 14 Comments »

Always Choose to Accept It

Posted on October 2, 2005 by Jorge

Always Check Your Food

The other day, I was doing some chores and cooking dinner at the same time.

I was cooking a pork chop.

I thought I had finished cooking it, as it was somewhat charred on the outside. Admittedly, our landlady set us up with a new stove and I’m not quite used to it yet, so I thought I had burned the chop but good.

I decided to eat it anyway, slathering rib sauce on it to mask the taste of charcoal.

I would take a bite, do an errand around the house, come back and take another bite, etc.

On the third bite, I realized that it was chewier than normal. I looked at the pork chop and saw that while the outside was charred, the inside was raw.

In my haste to complete some household chores, I neglected to check that the meat I was eating was cooked all the way through.

That was Tuesday night.

Today is Saturday.

I have one word for you…


TOILET


Let this be a lesson. Always make sure you cook your meat properly.

Ugh.



Your Mission, if You Choose to Accept it…

A friend of mine works in a company in the IT department. There are not many of them in this department (two if I understand him correctly).

His departmental accomplice (who we will call Miss X) is an expert in one part of the business while my friend takes care of the rest.

A lot of the time, people are looking for Miss X. They usually ask my friend where she is.

He’s arrived at an impasse for creative answers, so he asked me to appeal to my audience for some suggestions on creative answers.

I had two…



Scenario One

Person asks for Miss X. My friend has a cleverly constructed sock puppet likeness of her. He does an impromptu puppet show to make the person feel awkward.


Scenario Two

Person asks for Miss X. My friend asks the person to wait a sec while he picks up a pen from behind his desk. While down there, he dons a wig (the same colour as Miss X’s hair colour) and applies some makeup. He gets up from behind the desk and proceeds to talk like Miss X, making the person feel awkward.


So, let me know what suggestions you have. He’ll read the comments and I’m sure fun will be had by all. Except, of course for Miss X and her adoring fans.

Filed under: Anecdotes, General Dialogue, Humour, Spaces Archive | 23 Comments »

History Exercise

Posted on September 26, 2005 by Jorge

Blast From the Past

This is a neat little exercise that Kris posted on her blog. It’s great because it’s fast, easy and allows me to be lazy by not really posting anything new.



The Instructions

  1. Delve into your blog archive
  2. Find your 23rd post
  3. Find the fifth sentence
  4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions



The Result

“Of course, in times of need, I turn to Shatton, who had a bunch of headers embedded in his Blog.”



The Follow Up

You can click here if you want to read the whole article that the above quote came from.

Filed under: General Dialogue, Spaces Archive | 6 Comments »

Pear Flowery

Posted on September 23, 2005 by Jorge

Millions of Pears. Pears For Me

The other night I went shopping for groceries. We have several 24-hour grocery stores in the vicinity, so if one needs to refill the larder, it’s not a big task.

I figured I’d go down to Sobeys, but I ended up taking a wrong turn, and ended up in a traffic jam on an expressway.

Eventually, I ended up at a Dominion and proceeded to shop. After spending almost an hour in the traffic jam (at 1 AM no less) I had forgotten what we had at home in terms of fruit, so I ended up getting a basket of pears, not realizing that we already had a basket at home.

I’ve been averaging 3-4 pears a day.

All I can say is…

PEARS!



Flowery Observation

Yesterday my wife was having a bad day.

I decided to get her some flowers*, so I stopped off at the flower shop in the concourse level of the building I work in.

I picked up a bunch of Gerber Daisies with some greenery and headed home.

As I walked, I noticed that women I walked past would smile at me. Or maybe they would just smile and happened to be looking sort of at me because I was holding the flowers (which is what they were most likely looking at).

It was a strange phenomenon.

And I’m not talking about a few women. I’m talking about every woman I walked past.

It was a little unnerving.

My brain was formulating a hypothesis…


BRAIN CELL 1: It appears that upon seeing flowers, women become happy!
BRAIN CELL 2: Indeed. This is a most interesting discovery.
BRAIN CELL 3: How could we not have known this before?
BC1: Not sure, chap. Not sure at all.
So, is it safe to say that to make women happy, we should buy them flowers?
BC3: I don’t think the wife would really appreciate us spending money on other women, even if it would make the world a better place.
BC1: Yes. But it seems that just holding the flowers and walking makes women happier, if only for the time they see us carrying the flowers.
BC3: You might have something there.
BC1: Well, I’m not just good-looking, you know.
BC2: I’m just writing this down…women…complete strangers…see flowers…carry the one…
BC1: We might have ourselves a new law!
ALL: Hooray!


Good old brain.

Always thinking.

Anyhow, another thing I noticed is that guys that caught sight of the bouquet would have one of two reactions…

  • A guilty look
  • An angry look


What’s up with that?


BC2: Have you noticed how many guys are glowering in our direction?
BC3: It is odd, isn’t it?
BC1: Oh! Oh! New law!
BC3: Indeed!
BC2: Men will feel negative emotions when looking at other men carrying flowers.
BC1: Weird.


The most amusing reactions, though, were the guys with their gals. Here’s the play-by play.

  • Couple walking along.
  • Girl sees flowers I’m carrying and smiles.
  • Guy with girl sees girl smiling at me.
  • Guy looks at me and scowls.
  • Guy holds girl’s hand.
  • Guy moves closer to girl.


Like I’m going to steal your lady, Chuck. One guy on the subway even turned to his girlfriend and held both of her hands, desparately trying to hold her gaze.

Sometimes I’m ashamed to be a guy.




* – Yes, folks. Sometimes you can get people flowers for no other reason than to make them smile…

Filed under: General Dialogue, Ponderings, Spaces Archive | 18 Comments »

Bubu Lost

Posted on September 22, 2005 by Jorge

Good Luck to Bubu

My friend Christian is grading for his Nidan in kobudo this weekend (why does that sound perverted?).

Christian is affectionately called Bubu by his girlfriend and her friends.

What does it mean?

Who knows?

Either way, Bubu the Warrior sounds kinda funny, don’t you think?

Good luck, Mugen!



Lost…In Translation?

I regularly watch House M.D.. In my opinion, it’s one of the best shows on television. Indeed, it is my favourite non-animated television show of all time.

Lost is also something that I watch, but only because I want to see how it ends. I don’t enjoy it as much as House M.D., not by a long shot. I do, however, enjoy the days of speculation before and after each episode…

  • Will Locke say the word Boon any less than twenty times every episode?
  • Will Jack and Kate kiss?
  • Will Walt us his mind powers to send beams of superheated plasma into Shannon’s pouty face so that she stops whining?
  • Does JJ Abrams actually have a plan?


I’m curious what you all think of this series?

Do you think that the season is planned out carefully in advance? Or do you think that it’s a day-by-day thing?

Filed under: Friends, General Dialogue, Interactive, Spaces Archive | 9 Comments »

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