One of the Many Reasons…

The Wonderful Mrs. J

Everybody loves my wife.

It’s true.

One of the many reasons they do is because she can put me in my place (which is very much appreciated by all, I assure you.

For instance, today a friend of mine e-mailed me this joke…

A young man was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from college. While he was walking through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air.

The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant’s foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he worked the thorn out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen — thinking of nothing else but being trampled.

Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned and walked away.

The man never forgot that elephant or the events of that day Twenty years later the man was walking through the zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail. The large bull elephant stared at him and lifted it’s front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times, all the while staring at the man.

The man couldn’t help wondering if this was the same elephant. After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him.

The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man’s legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn’t the same elephant.

Now I found that joke funny.

Mrs… J on the other hand…

MRS. J: [Obviously not amused.] Hmph.
JORGE: What? Didn’t you find that funny?
MRS. J: [Silence.]
JORGE: At all?
MRS. J: Sometimes I wonder if I don’t have a sense of humour, or if yours is wrong.
JORGE: I like how you’ve made it so that there’s no possible option I can take in which I would win.
[Both of them burst out laughing.]

Mrs. J also has a way of helping me achieve clarity by stating the obvious…

[Jorge and Mrs. J are discussing what sort of beverages they want to take camping. Crystal Lite is fine and dandy, but tastes like plastic, so they are trying to find alternatives…]
MRS. J: What about Tang?
JORGE: That’s cool. But it’s only orange flavoured.
MRS. J: So?
JORGE: Variety.
MRS. J: Oh.
JORGE: If only there was some sort of alternative. Some sort of drink flavours made up with something sweet but not Aspartame. Some sort of Anti-Splenda.
MRS. J: They have that.
JORGE: [Getting excited.] They do?
MRS J: Yes. It’s called sugar.
[Both of them burst out laughing.]

So good!

9 Responses

  1. Your wife is a genius.

    Which just supports the notion that opposites attract.


  2. Dave and I have this problem with movies. He’ll bring something new home thinking that he’s scored a winner, and I’ll just sit there. He’s laughing hysterically, and I’m just trying to figure out why he thinks that what happened it funny.

  3. …I did laugh at the punch line of the elephant joke…but I felt guilty about it. And then I inwardly chastised myself for giggling at someone else’s demise. Mrs J indeed has a pure heart. 🙂

  4. I also got that elephant joke and was all “meh.” But I get the “Hmph” from Wife all the time as well.

    Thanks for the nice “sub” comments. It’s always a joy for the big right hander in the bullpen to get brought into the game.

  5. I found the joke funny. But there is a rumour that I am cold inside.

  6. I loved that story and there are no rumours about the coldness of my heart. I took care of that the last time someone laughed when I told them my favourite book is The Bunny Suicides.

    I do however, think your wife is a gem.

  7. Much like looking in on neighbours, I like anecdotes between partners. They are usually interesting. Kinda like these. Your wife sounds lovely.

    [Now, to show how conversations go in my house…
    K: I have our song stuck in the head this morning. Uh, I mean My head, not the head. Although… I did get the radio stuck in the severed head that is curently residing in my drawer. And our song is playing in the head too, but it’s stuck in a different way.
    R: Uh, Kelly? Are you tired?
    K: Zzzzzzzz

  8. Thank you for warm hearted chuckle!!!

  9. Mrs. J rocks!

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