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Hai-Kuul – July 05, 2005

Posted on July 5, 2005 by Jorge

Yankee-Doodles (Requested by princess_castle)
You’d think that one guy
With a feather was enough
Now she asks for two


Play Games (Requested by princess_castle)
Some folks are cruel
They string along their lovers
Like some fish for trout


Haven’t Ya Brushed Your Teeth, Hun? (Requested by princess_castle)
I’m not trying to be
An insensitive jerk but
Your breath smells like ass


I Won’t Go to Training School (Requested by princess_castle)
I’m an awesome dog
I behave perfectly well
‘cept for piss problems


What Are U Looking For? (Requested by princess_castle)
I see you look down
Your eyes speak of frantic fear
Did your contacts fall?


Tan Theta Fry (Requested by princess_castle)
Trigonometry
Is better understood when
It’s fried in butter


Mimosa Pudica (Requested by princess_castle)
Medicinal plant
Moderate diuretic
But causes baldness


Yuck!! I Am Not Eating One of Those!! (Requested by princess_castle)
Is this fear factor?
Because I make it a rule
Not to eat bull’s balls


Yawn ‘n Lawn (Requested by princess_castle)
The best days are spent
Reading a book on the grass
And taking a nap


Awww…Baby!!! (Requested by princess_castle)
What a nice gesture
It seems to be a rare thing
To receive flowers


Give..Me..Those Bonessss! My Dog is Hungry…Grrr!!! (Requested by princess_castle)
It is not easy
Being Gollum and owning
A mangy Collie


Recurring Reoccurrences (Requested by princess_castle)
Layers of events
Repetitive déja vu
Reruns of reruns


Raise the Bar? What Bar??? (Requested by princess_castle)
I’ve achieved it all
There is no one above me
I rule the planet


Pat Him On the Back (Requested by princess_castle)
For a job well done
A reward is a great thing
It makes people glad


Give Me a Break (Requested by princess_castle)
That’s a lame excuse
Your dog ate your homework, eh?
Time for detention


Emergency Supplies (Requested by princess_castle)
When Going Camping
Bring a first aid kit with you
Accidents hapen


Spin the Wheel (Requested by princess_castle)
If you want a prize
It has to land on something
Other than bankrupt


You Rock…Umm…But Are You a Rock?? (Requested by princess_castle)
You are so awesome
You saved my life yet again
Thanks, Benjamin Grimm


My Ridiculous Requests…Does That Annoy U?? Muhahahahah!!! (Requested by princess_castle)
I am fine with most
Provided they use proper
Words and some grammar




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Filed under: Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive | 1 Comment »

Contest!

Posted on July 4, 2005 by Jorge

Hai-Kuultest – Part Three

The 500th haiku came and went like a bat out of hell. It is time for another contest to celebrate the milestone. I was supposed to wait for Drea to indicate what the next photo was to be, but she thought it would be better to ignore that and request another ten million poems.

The contest will be similar to the last one. Check out the rules below.


Starting today, at 13:00 EST, I will be taking requests for Hai-Kuul. The 40th request wins. The rules are as follows..

  • The request must be made in the Hai-Kuul post on the sidebar as a comment. Any other Hai-Kuul request will not be counted as an entry, but I will create a Haiku for it regardless.
  • You cannot submit more than one request at a time. Thus five requests in the same comment only count as one entry.
  • You cannot submit more than one comment in a row at a time. Thus, if you were to submit two comments in a row, it would only count as one entry.
  • The Request must be original. No duplicates (which means you have to read the other ones). Duplicate requests will be deleted.
  • No members of my family are eligible for this. Any request from my family will be ignored (I will still write a haiku for the request though).
  • As of August 09, 2005, any request containing over ten topics in length will be deleted, and will thus not count as an entry.
  • The winner of the last contest cannot win this time. However, that person may contribute suggestions, and their entries will count towards the 40 entries. Should this person submit the 40th entry, the 41st will be the winner.
  • To receive the prize (there is only one), you must be able to provide me with a mailing address.


The prize for the 40th requestor will be an 8×10 glossy limited print (4/100) of a Moonlit Night in Algonquin Park (on 8.5×11 Canon Professional Photo Paper).

The 500th Haiku has already occurred due to the fact that Drea is a request-o-matic. She wins a 4×6 of the photo…



Good luck!

UPDATE (Aug 15, 2005): This contest is now closed.

Filed under: Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive, Special Events | 10 Comments »

Hai-Kuul – July 04, 2005

Posted on July 4, 2005 by Jorge

Tampons (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Only a man would
Design feminine products
That looked like grenades


Ain’t That Sweet? (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Kids inspire giggles
To the childless onlooker
Parents just shudder


Bizarro! (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
You see a stranger
With a large bright blue mohawk
You are strange to him


Let Me Out! (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
You don’t feel like most
You’re in society’s cage
Be your own person!


High Priority (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Every man knows
That the best policy is
To
really listen


Cahoots (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Even great heroes
Need some kind of cavalry
Long live the sidekick!


Bigger=Better? (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Texan frame of mind
Does not take into account
Horrible migraines


Hello Sunshine! (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
It’s rained for so long
I thought I would have to spend
My life under clouds


This One Shall Be the Best and None Shall Ever Top it (Requested by TheresaWarriorPrincess)
Dearest Theresa
Sadly, in Haiku there is
No such thing as best


My Dog Had Diarrhoea While I Was Asleep (Requested by edplue79)
While I was asleep
And my mind was relaxing
So was his sphincter


Being Bored In the Tanning Bed With Fifteen Minutes Left (Requested by edplue79)
My mind is racing
For something to think about
While my body bakes


A Belated Happy Canada Day to my neighbours up here!
A Happy Independance Day to our neighbours in the South!




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Filed under: Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive | 2 Comments »

Something That Popped Into My Head

Posted on June 30, 2005 by Jorge

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts…
William Shakespeare (1564 – 1616), “As You Like It”, Act 2 scene 7



I would like to modify this quote to fit these modern times more appropriately…



All the world’s a stage,
Where most act like nothing is wrong,
Some think the show’s end is fast approaching,
While to others the finale is nowhere in sight…

Filed under: Ponderings, Spaces Archive | 11 Comments »

Hai-Kuul – June 30, 2005 – 500th Hai-Kuul Request Contained Within!

Posted on June 30, 2005 by Jorge

Sick of Me Yet? (Requested by Drea)
It would take much more
For you to drive me away
A gun, for instance


Gold to Cole (Requested by Drea)
If the Olympics
Had events for flamboyance
Cole Porter would win!


Blue Clouds (Requested by Drea)
This is what happens
When you replace the Ocean
With blue Kool-Aid drink


Azaleas (Requested by Drea)
Beautiful flowers
That make many people glad
Including grandmas


Tea (Requested by Drea)
A diuretic
In which you can put lemon
And also honey


Montgomery Burns (Requested by Drea)
Springfield’s richest man
Is also most delicate
Smithers wants him bad


Car Seats (Requested by Drea)
Made for child safety
They must be used properly
For them to work right


Political Conclusions (Requested by Drea)
Elections may come
And then elections may go
And still we trudge on


Heathen (Requested by Drea)
Some fear difference
Persecuting others for
A different belief


Northern Shores (Requested by Drea)
The colder waters
Gather their strength at these points
Resisting freezing


Quail (Requested by Drea)
Why are the Quail’s eggs
So much different than the
Eggs of a chicken?


Faery Dust (Requested by Drea)
Magic beyond us
Some believe it makes us fly
I believe it’s drugs


Clairol (Requested by Drea)
Not just hair products
But some of the best marketing
In Earth’s history



The 500th Hai-Kuul Request

Of course Drea would have to be the one who requested it. Given the fact that this gal sends more requests my way than anyone else, she was bound to hit the number. Here it is…


Canada Rocks My Casbah (Requested by Drea)
Our country is great
Not just because of the land
But because of us!




*Remember, you can submit a topic to inspire your very own Haiku Poem by clicking here. You can read about Hai-Kuul here.

Filed under: Announcements, Hai-Kuul, Spaces Archive, Special Events | 4 Comments »

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