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I am a Mayor Pain in the Ass

Help Me Grow My City

I don’t normally get into the habit of asking people to click things. At least not on here.

The links I am posting do not benefit anyone other than me. They will not create world peace, nor will they donate money to the poor.

However, I am pretty sure that nothing bad will happen. No viruses or spam will haunt you, so at least there is no risk of annoyance.

MyMiniCity is a web-based SimCity-type game. Every click (you can only click one option per person per day) grows the city. It’s fun to watch. Like electronic Sea Monkeys.

At the outset, you can only grow your base population. After a while, though, other things are unlocked that allow your city to thrive.

So go ahead, and click already. Barkingtowne awaits…


  • Click here to grow my population by one person.
  • Click here to expand my city’s industrial sector.
  • Click here to expand my city’s transportation infrastructure.
  • Click here to reinforce my city’s security force.
  • Click here to improve my city’s environmental program.
  • Click here to improve my city’s business sector.



Sister Cities

Similarly, my friend Rituro has started his own city.

Show him some love…


  • Click here to grow the population of Jeramain by one person.


Elbie also has a rather large metropolis.

But it could always be bigger…

  • Click here to grow the population of Elbiville by one person.
  • Click here to expand Elbiville’s industrial sector.
  • Click here to expand Elbiville’s transportation infrastructure.
  • Click here to expand Elbiville’s security infrastructure.
  • Click here to improve Elbiville’s environmental program.
  • Click here to improve Elbiville’s business sector.


Snucking the Googies

Things You Should Know Before Having Kids

Adults who are sick with colds tend to be pretty miserable.

It’s true.

Think about the last time you had a cold. All of the endless nose-blowing and throat-clearing. So many tissues. Chicken soup leaking out of your ears because you ingested so much of it.

Now picture the same sickness, but the horrible inability to blow your nose because you don’t know how.

Welcome to the world of being a baby.



Enter…The Aspirator

For this purpose a wonderful tool was invented. It is called the nasal aspirator


It’s a wonderful utility that allows you to use suction to extract mucus.

Mrs. J calls it The Snot Sucker.

Rightly so. That’s essentially what it does.

Even such a small device can evoke a lot of humour.

The other day I was talking to her on the phone. She was sleep deprived, as the whole household had been embroiled in a battle with the cold virus and due to this condion, she was inventing new words. These words made complete sense, even though they didn’t exist in the official English Dictionary.

This one word, though, is one of the best words ever invented…

Snucking


As for googies, you will have to ask my friend Kirk about that.


The End is Nigh

Good Thing We Get to Start Over Again Tomorrow

That’s the wonderful thing about our species. We are so fixated on redo’s that we created a cyclic calendar.

Seriously.

Some medieval jackass probably screwed up things with his wife and invented a calendar to allow himself to achieve redemption.

But enough about my theories of history…

What was this year all about?

Challenges.

Moreso than any other year, I would say.

Certainly last year, the year of Two Thousand and Suck (as coined by Dave), was a challenging year.

But this year was insane.

Let’s review things that I have learned…

  • When they say that contractions are a certain amount of time apart, they are referring to an average, not that every contraction is exactly five minutes apart.
  • If your first baby arrives after four hours from the onset of active labour, you should consider preparing to have your second child at home.
  • The strongest friendships weather any storm. Even ones thrown at you by the devil himself.
  • Sometimes you find a new friend where and when you least expected it. Most likely closer than you might have imagined.
  • While friendship is the glue that binds us all together, WhyNattes is the solvent that melts away life’s problems.
  • Having a child makes you want to live forever.
  • No matter how little you change when you have a baby, almost everyone will treat you differently. Sometimes this is good. Sometimes this is bad. Just be ready to be considered different.
  • Life is never as bad as you think. And while it could always be worse, being passive about improving it is stupid. You need to get your hands dirty.
  • I never get to see the Biologist, Turtle Woman, the Mife, the Blife, or Farley and Company very often. But we’re all still close, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
  • I do get to Manchu with Shatton on a regular basis, which is awesome.
  • Achieving a Black Belt is more about sacrifice than hard work.
  • Achieving a Black Belt while landscaping your back yard is not only tiring, but probably idiotic.
  • Grandparents are fueling the housing market. Seriously, if you have ever had the thought where the hell are we going to put all of these presents?, you’ll know why the suburbs are so populated.
  • Toronto Thumbs is awesome. And not just because I write for it.
  • No matter how awesome your spouse is, if they get you a Nintendo Wii for Christmas, they will become creatures of legend for the duration of your natural life.


Not really a long list, but I don’t want to get all teary-eyed on you.

This has been a year of learning and wonder. I wish you all the very best for the New Year.

May you make all of your dreams come true.

MehWii Christmas!

Luckii

I thought my wife was tops for our collaborative Little J project.

Apparently she has iced the cake with a little electronic device that I was trying to figure out how to save up for next year.

While not so outwardly demonstrative, you can bet your bottom dollar that what I’m doing on the inside kinda looks like this…





Just replace the words “Nintendo 64” with the words “Nintendo Wii”.



🙂

Keeping it Simple

Just a simple wish that all of your wishes come true, everyone.


Unless, of course, your wishes involve harming people.


Then you’ll have to deal with me.



🙂