So, Mrs. J and I are looking for a new vehicle on account of our own vehicle being too small these days. Baby J is growing faster than Industrial Hemp, so it’s important to be ready for such things.
So we’ve been bouncing a bunch of ideas around as to which car we were looking for when I asked Mrs. J about a Hyundai model.
Which one? Well, let me illustrate…
What I Was Referring To The Hyundai Tuscon
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How It Should Be Pronounced Tuscon, Arizona
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How I Pronounced It A Tusken Raider
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I really don’t think I need to write any more about this.
Every once in a while I have a conversation with someone that is so funny to me that I revisit it several times to brighten my day…
[Chris walks up to Jorge.] Chris: Hey. Have you had your flu shot? Jorge: Nope. Chris: I’m going to go over and get mine now. Wanna come along? Jorge: Nope. Chris: Oh. Okay. Jorge: Yeah. I’ve never actually had a flu shot. Chris: Fair enough. Jorge: I hope you don’t think less of me. Chris: I don’t think that’s actually possible.
As with the other Movie Marathons, this year’s offered a number of funny out-takes. I will detail some of them here for your enjoyment.
Please be aware that this entry will contain spoilers. Also, due to the content of some of the movies we watch, some of the subsequent videos and words in the following entry may not be suitable for some. You have been warned…
The Movie: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid The Scene: Butch and Sundance are on a cliff and have run out of options. Why It Was Cut: This wasn’t really a blooper. Other than Claire crying in the background and Isha turning around while she was snacking, this clip wasn’t bad. The only problem with it was the disjointed ending, as well as the fact that we stopped filming just before Joe said hold me.
Cut due to better line prospect.
The Movie: The Iron Giant The Scene: Doesn’t exist in the movie. We created a scene where some scientists create a new version. Why It Was Cut: We filmed the scene but it turns out that the camera wasn’t running until the end. Dave did this last year during our “Raising Arizona” spot, where he didn’t press the button hard enough and ended up recording the parts in between the actual ones (start was stop and stop was start, if you know what I mean). We call this “Davin’ it up”.
Cut due to being cut already.
The Movie: Glengarry Glen Ross The Scene: Doesn’t really exist in the movie, at least not exactly like this. Why It Was Cut: This scene was cut because Dave cracked up way too early and the whole scene could have been done better. We ended up doing a re-take in which Dave doesn’t crack up until the end. Disturbingly, in both clips, Dave latches onto the Pacino line about my balls.
Cut due to not enough swearing.
The Movie: Hard Core Logo The Scene: Doesn’t really exist in the movie, at least not exactly like this. Why It Was Cut: Joe and I didn’t even realize that this was being filmed, so this is just random banter. The second take was way better anyway.
Cut due to not knowing this was being filmed.
The Movie: Dolemite The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview. Why It Was Cut: In the original movie you could see a boom mic hanging down in quite a number of scenes. We wanted to replicate this, but every time Dave looked at the mic he’d lose his shit.
Cut due to Dave losing his shit.
The Movie: Dolemite The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview. Why It Was Cut: Dave cracks up due to the name I made up for the organization who is interviewing him: Neil Bobs Spitz and Swallows.
Cut due to Dave losing his shit, again.
The Movie: Dolemite The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview. Why It Was Cut: One of the ideas we had was to have the boom mic tap Dave on the head. Here we see what happens when an unstoppable force meets a very movable object.
Cut due to Dave almost dying.
The Movie: Audition The Scene: Somewhat made up. Isha plays the evil woman who does bad things. She’s going to go to town on the poor man in the sack, beating him with a big plastic thing. Why It Was Cut: Dave indicated that he would cover his head for the first hit and then flip over so Isha could hit him harder. Isha misinterpreted the instructions and started waiting for Dave to turn over with his butt in the air. I couldn’t keep it together.
What the hell, weather? You’d think that we lived in Vancouver and not Toronto given how much precipitation there has been this month.
Earlier this month saw me with my snow shovel moving water out of my backyard and over the lip of the asphalt that is the top of my driveway. I cannot even hope to tell you how much I moved. Needless to say that I was doing this for an hour.
After a leak in the basement last year, I’ve been a bit paranoid about lots of earthbound skywater.
Mrs. J called me in a panic, indicating that it had been raining for an hour where she works. Considering that it wasn’t raining at all where I was, on the other side of town, I was a bit nervous so I asked my awesome neighbour to check.
The report came back: No Puddles. PHEW!
The Dark Knight Semi-Triumphant
I posted a comment across my various status updates stating that I was not as impressed with The Dark Knight as I thought I would be…
Predictably, a number of people sent me messages imploring me to like the movie better.
Um.
I never said I didn’t like the movie. I just said it didn’t live up to my expectations.
I think that Heath Ledger’s death has catapulted this movie into that fuzzy area where people need to make more out of something to justify the loss of life.
I will tell you right now, that the movie is great. And whether Heath died or not, he was perfect in this movie. Absolutely perfect.
Camping Guitar Challenge
So Dave and I were talking about how camping always reveals how little we know about music. Specifically, we’ll start up a song around the campfire and inevitably trail off after the first verse and chorus.
So this year, we’re going to learn a bunch of songs in their entirety, so that we don’t look like ignorant jackasses. Here’s my list…
BRr>
Redemption Song – Bob Marley
Jack & Diane – John Cougar Mellencamp
Black Hole Sun – Soundgarden
Sucker – John Mayer
Some Fantastic – Barenaked Ladies
One Thing – Finger Eleven
The Luckiest – Ben Folds
Everlong – Foo Fighters
First of May – Jonathan Coulton
Disarm – Smashing Pumpkins
The Last Saskatchewan Pirate – The Arrogant Worms
Down to the River to Pray – Alison Krauss
Not really the easiest songs to learn. This could be great or it could be a disaster. I’ll let you know how it turns out next week, unless my camping friends murde rme in cold blood and dance about on my grave singing Allelujah
These days I haven’t really been feeling all that great. A general meh I suppose. Reasons? I have no idea, or maybe I do. In any case, I’ve got Mrs. J and Baby J, so I’m guaranteed at least ten smiles a day.
But once in a while, someone from the outside world (ie: the world outside my home) says something that just makes me crack the hell up…
[Jorge is in Home Depot, talking to one of the employees about topsoil. They’ve talked about how to tackle a particular problem and have moved on to part of the solution…] Jorge: So, now that I know how to deal with my gravel pit, I guess I should ask you what sort of topsoil I should buy? And how much? HD Guy: Triple Mix. But honestly? Given the size of your job, I wouldn’t buy any bags from here. It would be cheaper to get it in bulk from a garden center. Jorge: Seriously? Wow. That’s good to know. HD Guy: Well, you could get bags from here. Next weekend they are going on sale for ninety-nine cents a bag. That’s dirt cheap, man. Jorge: It certainly is. Good one, dude.
Barking Space 
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