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The End is Nigh

Good Thing We Get to Start Over Again Tomorrow

That’s the wonderful thing about our species. We are so fixated on redo’s that we created a cyclic calendar.

Seriously.

Some medieval jackass probably screwed up things with his wife and invented a calendar to allow himself to achieve redemption.

But enough about my theories of history…

What was this year all about?

Challenges.

Moreso than any other year, I would say.

Certainly last year, the year of Two Thousand and Suck (as coined by Dave), was a challenging year.

But this year was insane.

Let’s review things that I have learned…

  • When they say that contractions are a certain amount of time apart, they are referring to an average, not that every contraction is exactly five minutes apart.
  • If your first baby arrives after four hours from the onset of active labour, you should consider preparing to have your second child at home.
  • The strongest friendships weather any storm. Even ones thrown at you by the devil himself.
  • Sometimes you find a new friend where and when you least expected it. Most likely closer than you might have imagined.
  • While friendship is the glue that binds us all together, WhyNattes is the solvent that melts away life’s problems.
  • Having a child makes you want to live forever.
  • No matter how little you change when you have a baby, almost everyone will treat you differently. Sometimes this is good. Sometimes this is bad. Just be ready to be considered different.
  • Life is never as bad as you think. And while it could always be worse, being passive about improving it is stupid. You need to get your hands dirty.
  • I never get to see the Biologist, Turtle Woman, the Mife, the Blife, or Farley and Company very often. But we’re all still close, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
  • I do get to Manchu with Shatton on a regular basis, which is awesome.
  • Achieving a Black Belt is more about sacrifice than hard work.
  • Achieving a Black Belt while landscaping your back yard is not only tiring, but probably idiotic.
  • Grandparents are fueling the housing market. Seriously, if you have ever had the thought where the hell are we going to put all of these presents?, you’ll know why the suburbs are so populated.
  • Toronto Thumbs is awesome. And not just because I write for it.
  • No matter how awesome your spouse is, if they get you a Nintendo Wii for Christmas, they will become creatures of legend for the duration of your natural life.


Not really a long list, but I don’t want to get all teary-eyed on you.

This has been a year of learning and wonder. I wish you all the very best for the New Year.

May you make all of your dreams come true.

Convopalooza

Is That the Date? Yikes!

So…

I haven’t posted in a while. Sue me.

I’ve been busy with other things, thus sending this place to the end of my list of priorities.

That being said, today I am going to post a whack of MSN conversations.

It’s not much, I know, but enjoy!



President Evil

My friend Shatton talking about his complicated approach to Resident Evil 4



Click to enlarge…



Fatality

One of the rare occasions where we had more than two people in a chat window at once. It’s rare for good reason, apparently…



Click to enlarge…



Hot Brown…

My friend Shatton has game nights every friday at his place. Due to me being busy half the time, I tend to miss out on the fun. Here he tries to entice me…



Click to enlarge…



Sleep? That’s Where I’m a Viking!

I enjoy utilizing the drawing feature of MSN Messenger.

Observe as I render a true-to-life portrait of Dave



Click to enlarge…



Does Not Compute…

Kim and I were having a perfectly civil conversation when my silly sense of humour hijacked our window and drove us to the state of insanity…



Click to enlarge…



Smashed

Rituro and I share a love of gaming. We also share a love of Hulk-dominated conversations…



Click to enlarge…



Friends

Here is a conversation between Kelly and I about friendship…



Click to enlarge…



TMI

Not content with our previous level of insight, Kelly and I change gears…



Click to enlarge…



Priorities

Here I demonstrate to Tug that I have a one-track mind…



Click to enlarge…



Pan-Dimensional

Did you know that Dr. Beth is a being who can defy the laws of physics? I sure didn’t…



Click to enlarge…


Stretching My Legs

Circles Have No Beginning

My friend (and Capoeira instructor) Lang invited me out to attend her classes during my month away from Karate, so I took her up on her invitation and attended a few classes. I have to say, it’s been a long time since I did any structured class for Capoeira, and let me tell you, the first time I went my legs were sore as hell.

But the energy of Lang’s circle is strong. Much stronger than it’s ever been. So strong that it actually compels you to shrug off the fatigue and soreness and keep the games going.



It was nice to go back to something familiar,
even if it was just for a few hours…
Click to enlarge…



Circles Have No End

On top of the fact that Lang was teaching, my friend Tien also takes the class. Capoeira is where we met and became friends, so that was another reason to really enjoy my time there.

The icing on the cake was Mestre Augusto. He’s a great master from Brazil, full of mischief and incredible technique. He’s a lot of fun, and it was an honour to play several games with him. He is, as they say, a true malandro.



Three malandros. Mestre Augusto
is in between Tien and myself.
Click to enlarge…


It has been about four years since I have done Capoeira. I managed to meet Mestre Acordeon a short while go. That made me nostalgic, but I was embroiled in Karate at the time. I was determined to not let anything distract me.

It was only recently when I performed a short demo at my Shodan grading that I realized how much I missed it.

Mrs. J asked me an interesting question the other day…


If you had your choice to travel and study a martial art at its source, which one would you do? Capoeira? Karate? Which one of the arts that you know would you choose?


I realized that I couldn’t make the choice. It was too hard. I love all martial arts.

So I said…


France, to study Savate.

🙂

Phenomenal Woman

Birthday Girl

A friend of mine recently turned seventy.

This woman is simply amazing.

Not only is she vibrant and fun, she’s also driven. For instance, she just received her black belt this year. That’s right. THIS YEAR.

She is an inspiration to us all, a shining example of the saying you are as old as you feel.

She recently threw a party for her birthday and invited her friends.

I was slow dancing with her at one point, and she mentioned that she used to stay out until four in the morning. I joked about her cutting down to calling it a night at three A.M., but she laughed and said that it was because the venue was closing at eleven that she couldn’t stay out longer.

She read us a poem by Maya Angelou that, in my opinion, suited her perfectly…


PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.


Happy Birthday, Eileen. You are an inspiration to us all and you make every day a better one! Thank you for making seventy look amazing!

🙂

The Places We’ll Say, the People We’ll Do…

Racial Fignorance

Sometimes the thing that slips out when somebody is talking just makes me laugh. Even though if that same thing could be said on public radio and cause an uproar…


Jorge: I am trying to figure out how to incorportate Little J into my Hallowe’en costume.
Dave: Yeah?
Jorge: I’m thinking I will be Indiana Jones and I can put a baseball cap on her and she can be Short Round from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.
Dave: Cool.
Jorge: Fifty dollar bill! Fifty dollar bill! Oh wait, that’s not from Indy. It’s from The Goonies.
Dave: Haha. Yeah. That’s true.
Jorge: I wonder where that guy is now? What other movies has he made?
Dave: Wasn’t he one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?
Jorge: No. That was Ernie Reyes Junior.
Dave: Really? Aren’t all chinese people the same guy?


Please direct all outrage towards this site.

🙂



WTF?!?

There have been some entertaining hits from search engines to my blog. For the life of me, I can’t figure out how these are actually valid.

Of course, after typing this article, they will cause even more hits for the same things.

Ah well…

  • lots of recycling bins
  • freaky boys
  • rubber panties
  • truck drivers nuts
  • weed and crashes


Toto, we’re not in Kansas anymore…