Today, after careful consideration, we elected to put our beloved neurotic cat to sleep.
The past few weeks have been filled with angst, frustration and, honestly, bilious piles of orally ejected cat food (to put it politely).
A few weeks ago, Logan couldn’t really keep anything down. Never really being a worry-free cat (having had a heart murmur as a kitten and several bladder infections and crystal buildups to his credit), we immediately suspected that this was something more than hairballs.
The poor little guy was just having a rough go of eating. After having thrown up everything he ate one morning, he just continued to do so at random intervals. All day. This doesn’t bode well when your stomach contains nothing. The mere sound of food landing in their bowls would send him into convulsions and his water intake was down.
After analysis at the vet, they couldn’t find anything wrong with him (they took x-rays), but informed us that not all materials show up in x-rays and that given the configuration of his digestive system, the probable location of a blockage was the stomach exit. If the condition continued he would require detailed analysis and surgery.
They prescribed anti-vomit medication and gave him an injection of subcutaneous fluid to keep him hydrated for a few days. He wasn’t getting better. He would vomit the anti-vomit medication and would not eat. For a few days after, he seemed to get better, but relapsed back to the miserable state he was in before we took him to the vet.
We couldn’t afford the surgery. We couldn’t even afford the detailed analysis, really. And even if we could, the fact that while we did love him, Logan was a goofball that ate everything from carpet to foam, it was a question of whether or not trying to save him would actually stop him from being in the same predicament again.
So the family said their goodbyes (Little J said bye bye Gogan and gave him a kiss on the forehead) and I took him in to be euthanized.
It’s amazing how such a small creature can break your heart.
I miss him already, even if he could be a pain in the ass.
Goodbye, Logan
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I’ll write more soon about our little furry friend tomorrow (good stuff, I promise). I need to get some sleep because I am tired.
We bought a car back in 2001 due to this minor inconvenience. Needless to say, consumer reports will tell you that the car we picked was a piece of crap.
I don’t like pointing fingers, though, so we will call the vehicle in question…
V. Jetta
Wait. That’s too obvious. Let’s just call it…
Volkswagon J.
Anyhoo…
We’ve had quite a number of problems with this car over the years, and so Dave has heard a lot of complaining from me on the subject.
So now Mrs. J and I are thinking about buying a new vehicle, mostly due to space issues. Our current car is just too small.
In a conversation with Dave the other day, I mentioned that we will finally be rid of our old car, which has served us fairly well, but also helped itself to our bank account. I told him that we’d finally be buyng a new one…
Dave: So that’s it eh? Jorge: Yes. I’m looking forward to getting a new car, man. Dave: So, if you could only go back in time once, would you warn yourself not to buy that Jetta or would you kill Hitler? Jorge: Well, I’d go back and warn myself for sure. Dave: Really? Jorge: Actually, now that I think about it, if I kill Hitler, Volkswagon might have become a different company and never made that car in the first place. Dave: Good point.
Every once in a while I have a conversation with someone that is so funny to me that I revisit it several times to brighten my day…
[Chris walks up to Jorge.] Chris: Hey. Have you had your flu shot? Jorge: Nope. Chris: I’m going to go over and get mine now. Wanna come along? Jorge: Nope. Chris: Oh. Okay. Jorge: Yeah. I’ve never actually had a flu shot. Chris: Fair enough. Jorge: I hope you don’t think less of me. Chris: I don’t think that’s actually possible.
As with the other Movie Marathons, this year’s offered a number of funny out-takes. I will detail some of them here for your enjoyment.
Please be aware that this entry will contain spoilers. Also, due to the content of some of the movies we watch, some of the subsequent videos and words in the following entry may not be suitable for some. You have been warned…
The Movie: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid The Scene: Butch and Sundance are on a cliff and have run out of options. Why It Was Cut: This wasn’t really a blooper. Other than Claire crying in the background and Isha turning around while she was snacking, this clip wasn’t bad. The only problem with it was the disjointed ending, as well as the fact that we stopped filming just before Joe said hold me.
Cut due to better line prospect.
The Movie: The Iron Giant The Scene: Doesn’t exist in the movie. We created a scene where some scientists create a new version. Why It Was Cut: We filmed the scene but it turns out that the camera wasn’t running until the end. Dave did this last year during our “Raising Arizona” spot, where he didn’t press the button hard enough and ended up recording the parts in between the actual ones (start was stop and stop was start, if you know what I mean). We call this “Davin’ it up”.
Cut due to being cut already.
The Movie: Glengarry Glen Ross The Scene: Doesn’t really exist in the movie, at least not exactly like this. Why It Was Cut: This scene was cut because Dave cracked up way too early and the whole scene could have been done better. We ended up doing a re-take in which Dave doesn’t crack up until the end. Disturbingly, in both clips, Dave latches onto the Pacino line about my balls.
Cut due to not enough swearing.
The Movie: Hard Core Logo The Scene: Doesn’t really exist in the movie, at least not exactly like this. Why It Was Cut: Joe and I didn’t even realize that this was being filmed, so this is just random banter. The second take was way better anyway.
Cut due to not knowing this was being filmed.
The Movie: Dolemite The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview. Why It Was Cut: In the original movie you could see a boom mic hanging down in quite a number of scenes. We wanted to replicate this, but every time Dave looked at the mic he’d lose his shit.
Cut due to Dave losing his shit.
The Movie: Dolemite The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview. Why It Was Cut: Dave cracks up due to the name I made up for the organization who is interviewing him: Neil Bobs Spitz and Swallows.
Cut due to Dave losing his shit, again.
The Movie: Dolemite The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview. Why It Was Cut: One of the ideas we had was to have the boom mic tap Dave on the head. Here we see what happens when an unstoppable force meets a very movable object.
Cut due to Dave almost dying.
The Movie: Audition The Scene: Somewhat made up. Isha plays the evil woman who does bad things. She’s going to go to town on the poor man in the sack, beating him with a big plastic thing. Why It Was Cut: Dave indicated that he would cover his head for the first hit and then flip over so Isha could hit him harder. Isha misinterpreted the instructions and started waiting for Dave to turn over with his butt in the air. I couldn’t keep it together.
Since Dave & Sarah are having a baby early next year, the 2009 Movie Marathon has been moved to 2008.
As usual, we will be covering the event using all the tools in the nerd kingdom, so sit back and enjoy.
I have all of the movies titled already in preparation for the day. Stay tuned! Also, please be aware that this entry will contain spoilers. Also, due to the content of some of the movies we watch, some of the subsequent videos and words in the following entry may not be suitable for some. You have been warned…
Here we have a disturbing view of the future. You know. The future being the year 2000.
The movie is total cheese, but it is pretty awesome so far. How can you not love a movie with Sly Stallone and David Carradine? Even Martin Kove is in it. This movie is all kinds of awesome.
Chris: How come the real year 2000 wasn’t as cool as this?
It’s a strange dystopian vision of the future, that’s for sure. America is not the most friendly place in the world, according to this movie. As to be expected, the special effects are nothing compared to today’s movies. However, given the times it’s relatively gory. This movie must have been pretty shocking back in the day.
You’ve got to wonder how starved for entertainment folks in the past were with such horrible dialogue and wooden delivery.
[Currently Sly is chasing after some poor guy that just called his character Frankenstein. It’s pretty funny.] Mark: They need to play the music from Benny Hill for this chase.
There is a group in the movie called The Resistance that is trying to sabotage the Death Race. Most of their ambush projects look like they were made by kindergarten art classes.
The Verdict
It’s a horrible, horrible movie. But it was pretty hilarious. So bad that it’s hilarious. It’s watchable, but probably not over and over again.
Dave and Isha take it where the sun don’t shine courtesy of Fireplace Tool Joe.
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Davekenstein takes down an innocent for 80 points.
It’s been a while since I’ve seen this movie. At least ten years. I saw this film when I was in university, I think. Actually, now that I think about it, I think I also saw this movie when I was a kid.
I’ve always love how this movie starts out. Going from a sepia tone to colour. In fact, I haven’t watched the digitally remastered version and I have to say that they did a really good job.
Butch and Sundance have just finished off a job and are celebrating in a brothel. Isha got really excited…
Isha: I KNEW there’s be old-time whores in this movie! Jorge: Versus what, new-time future whores?
This movie is amazing. What’s strange, though, is that you could never apply the same formula to a modern movie. Maybe that’s what makes this a classic.
A lot of jokes were made about this being the precursor to Brokeback Mountain due to the closeness of Butch and Sundance. Cathy came up with a pretty hilarious line…
Cathy: Could you imagine if these two actually made a porn together? That would be the best selling porn ever!
Crap, we just had a blown fuse for the first time in our run!
After a few minutes we’re back on schedule.
The Verdict
This movie is awesome. It has one of the best endings of all times. This movie is definitely one that you could watch a few times. I mean, any movie with Cloris Leachman as an old hooker is a winner in my books!
Dave Cassidy and the Sundance Jorge make their final stand.
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Joe Cassidy and the Sundance Chris get ready to escape the posse.
Our first true black and white movie and the oldest of the bunch. Constance Porter is currently smoking cigarettes and then throwing them into the ocean. She also seems to be resistant to all forms of dirt.
During one of the scenes, after picking up a bunch more people, Constance is using her typewriter…
Isha: Is she using her typewriter? Rebecca: She’s blogging. Old-time blogging.
Wow. For an old movie the special effects are pretty good. The issues that are dealt with are pretty serious as well. Lots of moral quandries.
The Verdict
The movie was really compelling. There were a lot of really great moments. The struggle of humanity away from humanity. I would highly recommend this movie to anyone.
Rebecca comforts Chris. How long will it take to be rescued?
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This is one of the best animated movies of all time. I’ve seen it a number of times, and Mrs. J actually didn’t mind this movie so much.
She has high standards.
The Iron Giant is the story of an alien robot that crashes on Earth and befriends a little guy named Hogarth. It’s a story about outcasts and understanding. The animation is really great, and the voice work is great.
We tried to figure out the different actors that participated…
Jorge: Is that robot Brad Garrett? Sarah & Rebecca: Vin Diesel. Jorge: Really? Sarah: Yeah. Jorge: Wow. Cool. They even have the same hair.
The Verdict
If you ever want a good family movie that’s not too “kiddy”, this is your movie. Not only are there powerful lessons, it can be awesomely upbeat and ends in a way that’s powerful and moving. I know that when Baby J is old enough, she will be watching this movie with us.
The Iron Giant has the whole world in his hand. Or just Dave.
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The scientists create a new Iron Giant. Unfortunately it’s not as cool as the first one.
This movie doesn’t sound like the most exciting prospect. The machinations behind the real estate business? Oooooooh!
However, with such a stellar cast, it will most likely be an amazing film. So far, Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris, Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey? Holy smackerel!
Some of the lines in this movie are hilarious, for instance…
You ever take a dump made you feel like you’d just slept for twelve hours?
Gold. Solid gold.
Man, I watch these guys work, and they are slicker than oiled eels. It really gets you wondering about how low some people can go.
The Verdict
It’s a depressing movie. It doesn’t end well at all. Even though it did. You have to watch it to know what I’m talking about. I wish that we counted how many times they used the word fuck in this movie. I can safely say that the number of times they said fuck is much higher than the number of people that died in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
A professional Real Estate meeting.
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Some of the boys in Real Estate, discussing things politely.
This is an interesting mocumentary about a punk band on a last-ditch tour of Western Canada. Mockumentaries are pretty cool, so I’m looking forward to it.
It’s well done. It’s raw and honest (if you can call a work of fiction honest). The characters take you through a series of emotions. Sometimes you hate them, sometimes you love them. It’s like watching a car ride?
The Verdict
Not too bad as far as movies go. I don’t know if I would bother seeing it again, but I am glad that I did. The music was pretty good and the acting was pretty awesome. The ending was…interesting.
Meet Softcore Diagram.
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United we stand, divided we entertain the hell out of everyone.
This movie is all about the Big O. If you don’t know what that is, I’ll take a sec and wait for you while you Google it.
Back? Good.
This movie is about disfunctional relationships and the healing thereof. There are some pretty hilarious moments in a film dealing with an awkward topic.
Jack: Are you eighteen? Kristen: I think you mean the age of consent, which is sixteen. Dave: Too bad you’re twelve. Shelley: And still full of the clap
[Jack runs into Kristen’s father at the video store.] Mr. Taylor: The world needs more teachers like you. Dave: I mean, you’re no Danny DeVito… Rebecca: He’s like a big teddy bear. Dave: Yes! Shelley: He’s like a big teddy bear inside. Dave: YES!
Wow. This movie actually has a Danny DeVito montage! I don’t know if it’s awesome or horrible.
The Verdict
Well, this movie did not turn out the way that I thought it would. I think we were all genuinely surprised by this story. I have to say that I’m not sure if I like the message this movie conveys. Ah well. It was still a good watch. Awkward moments aplenty, but good. The lesson? No matter how hard you work at something, you will get fugged over by Danny DeVito.
What we named our eyenas.
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One of the love scenes that was cut from the movie.
We’ve been trying to get this movie for four years. For some reason nowhere seems to carry this. So far we’re not even ten minutes into the movie and it might be giving Glengarry Glen Ross a run for it’s money in the fuck department.
There is no way in hell this movie can possibly be taken seriously.
Isha: There’s something about the way they block their scenes that reminds me of the way we block our scenes when we do our videos. Dave: What? Like they only had fifteen minutes? Isha: Yeah. We’re on a schedule here!
Wow. Now we’re about twenty minutes in and we have a very realistically portrayed massage parlour scene. It’s interesting that their fight scenes are so unrealistically done compared to their massage parlour scenes.
There are a lot of scenes of absolutely nothing in this movie. It’s like they kept the camera rolling at all times. Also, the fact that the boom mic is hanging down in most of the scenes is also all kinds of awesome.
The Verdict
I feel dirty that we bought this movie. Somehow our quest seems empty. But, it was funny. Shelley pointed out that her favourite parts were when Dolemite was rapping. I would have to agree. Rudy Ray Moore’s line delivery is horrible unless he’s ‘preachin’.
Our first horror movie of the night, this one promises to be much better than last year’s selection. There is apparently going to be a lot of gore and blood, but nothing so far and we’re twenty minutes in.
Dave: This movie needs more torture or I’m not going to make it.
The movie is moving slowly and feels like a romantic comedy more than anything else. But inside information indicates that this is all going to change soon.
The shit was just scared out of Isha, which scared the crap out of the rest of us. Dave is now awake. The movie has shifted into the realm of the creepy. The tension was built for a while and now that the first little shocker is out of the way they’re building it up again.
[One of the characters just settled down for a drink out of a bottle in his own house (which has obviously been tampered with).] Dave: This tasted like burlap, dog and extra tongue. Damn this is good Bourbon!
Now the movie is even worse than I thought it could ever be.
[The horrible woman is now cutting of this poor guy’s feet after shoving needles in his eyes.] Dave: What the hell could ever top this?
The Verdict
What. The. Hell.
Isha is replacing her lucky rabbit’s foot.
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When you order and receive a Dave-In-a-Sack™, you have to make sure it’s dead.
Ah, Stephen King. It’s been a while since I’ve watched anything by him. The last book I read was the last of the Dark Tower trilogy.
This is a sort of Lord of the Flies type of movie. Everyone is stuck outside of their normal routines and trapped together. On top of it all the threat of the mist is looming outside.
This movie contains a reference to brass balls. Our second tonight.
A lot of this movie is horribly unbelievable, but at the same time it makes me feel sick. Especially how it ends.
The Verdict
Wow. This movie was awesome. But at the same time I hate how it goes. I HATE IT. I’m glad I watched it, but I feel really, really bad for the main character. Like…sick to my stomach bad.
The aftermath of Dave’s charity-based rampage.
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Nothing like washing away the horror from our eyes by using a comedy thriller. It’s been a while since I’ve seen this movie, but in the first few minutes some of the cheese is flooding back.
This movie is so cheesy it can’t possibly be scary to anyone older than the age of eight. Currently Kevin Bacon and his compatriots are busy pole-vaulting across the barren countryside. So ridiculous.
Ooooh! A jazz-hands death! Sweet!
I’ve dozed off a few times during this movie. It’s not that it’s not exciting. It’s just…uh…meh. It’s not really that exciting.
The Verdict
Cheese-filled cheese croissants with cheese on top. A fun romp, for most. A cult following? Not for me though.
Joe is about to get his hair styled by Graboids.
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Joe and Isha get attacked by the Graboids. Look how worried they are!
This is a first. A stand-up comedy act. It should be interesting due to when this was filmed. Rather than being a self-contained story, this piece is specific to the 80’s, so Eddie would lay all kinds of bombs that would make people feel really uncomfortable if he did that same kind of humour today.
This movie brings back a lot of memories of listening to Dr. Dimento and the Sunday Night Funnies on CHUM FM.
This movie is all swearing and crazy opinions. It’s pretty entertaining.
The Verdict
It’s awesome to watch just because of the time period it takes place in. Things have really changed over the last few years. A lot of Eddie’s stuff is hilarious just because of his incredible delivery. The guy just oozes confidence.
We Made It!
So we made it (sort of). Dave made it all the way through. Chris and I nodded off for a few minutes during Tremors. But, like troopers, we did pretty good as a team. A big thanks to everyone for hospitality, electronics, equipment and food.
The crew at the end of the night.
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Barking Space 
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