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Juicer

Posted on February 8, 2011 by Jorge

Tight Squeeze

Having children is like having access to a gold mine full of awesomeness. Not only do they come up with some hilarious dialogue, but they inspire us to explore our own inner child; that is, they help us remove the grown-up filter that usually remains intact in most day-to-day situations.

What’s even better is when you have friends with children that you can share your stories with; from these conversations, awesomeness is born…

Jorge: Little J made strawberry juice by squeezing Strawberry Shortcake. “Aaahhh! Fresh!”. I am sleeping with one eye open.
Krk: Take it out on Count Chocula for chocolate milk!
J: Hahahahah! I don’t even want to know how they make Bawls soda.


Filed under: Anecdotes, Convos, Humour | Tagged: , , , | 1 Comment »

The Big Picture

Posted on January 5, 2011 by Jorge

Cart Calls Kettle Black

I was out shopping at the local Loblaws earlier this evening. I deposited my groceries in the trunk of my car and then rode the shopping cart back to the cart deposit area. I’m not sure if any of you have ever done this, but it involves a steady grip on the bar while “skateboarding” the shopping cart and then hunching over and placing both of your feet on the supporting structure over the rear wheels.

It’s fun.

As I was doing this, I saw a guy get out of his car. He was a TTC driver that I had seen before, driving a local bus; I recall him having a good sense of humour. As I walked back from putting away my cart, he commented, “I can’t believe I just saw a grown-ass man do that.” He chuckled.

I laughed, and motioned around the parking lot (there were a whole bunch of carts lying around), “At least I put my cart away.”

He nodded. “That’s true. I’ll give you that. “

As I drove away, I saw him, skateboarding his own shopping cart towards the front doors of the supermarket. As I honked my horn and gave him the thumbs up, he pumped a fist in the air and had a shit-eating grin.

Grown-ass man indeed.




Filed under: Anecdotes, General Dialogue, Humour, Ponderings | Tagged: , , , | 8 Comments »

Job Descriptions

Posted on January 3, 2011 by Jorge

Obvious

I was in the car with Mrs. J and Little J last week when the following dialog took place…

Little J: Daddy, when it’s summer again next year I want to go to Centre Island to ride on the bumblebees.
Jorge: Yeah?
Little J: Yeah. And you can take pictures with your camera because you are the picture guy.
Jorge: I’m the picture guy, eh?
Little J: Yeah. You’re a picture-making machine.
Jorge: [Laughs.]
Little J: You are a picture-making machine just like I am a googie-making machine.
Jorge: [Laughs louder.]

We have all had bad colds recently, so she’s somewhat accurate about the googies.

Filed under: Anecdotes, Convos, Humour | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

Lewd Poisoning

Posted on December 9, 2010 by Jorge

What Goes In…

This is a conversation I had recently with a friend of mine. In the spirit of international comradeship, I am sharing this…

Jorge: Hey dude! How goes?
Jared: Had nasty food poisoning for the last two days.
Jorge: Never fun.
Jared: Like being on that machine that takes your life from Princess Bride.
Jorge: Yup. Except that it takes the life out of your body through your ass.
Jared: LOL!

I am such a sympathetic person.


Filed under: Anecdotes, Convos, Friends, Humour | Tagged: , | Leave a comment »

Wit’s Beginning

Posted on November 27, 2010 by Jorge

Pearls of Wisdon

A snippet of a conversation today…

Jorge: You slept for a long time.
Little J: I’m still tired.
Jorge: Well, save it for tonight. Then you’ll have lots of energy to see Santa tomorrow.
Little J: Well, I don’t want to see him tomorrow.
Jorge: Whaaaat?
Little J: Yeah. I like sleep better than Christmas.
Jorge: Bwahahahahahaha!

To be fair, having a bad cold would make anyone love their precious sleep.


Filed under: Anecdotes, Humour | Tagged: , , , , | 2 Comments »

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