Phenomenal Woman

Birthday Girl

A friend of mine recently turned seventy.

This woman is simply amazing.

Not only is she vibrant and fun, she’s also driven. For instance, she just received her black belt this year. That’s right. THIS YEAR.

She is an inspiration to us all, a shining example of the saying you are as old as you feel.

She recently threw a party for her birthday and invited her friends.

I was slow dancing with her at one point, and she mentioned that she used to stay out until four in the morning. I joked about her cutting down to calling it a night at three A.M., but she laughed and said that it was because the venue was closing at eleven that she couldn’t stay out longer.

She read us a poem by Maya Angelou that, in my opinion, suited her perfectly…


Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care.
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Happy Birthday, Eileen. You are an inspiration to us all and you make every day a better one! Thank you for making seventy look amazing!


Energy Stamp

All the Energy You Want, Now With Less Feline Retinal Degredation!

The other day I was standing in one of our Subway stations, looking at some of the new posters on the wall across the tracks touting a new energy drink.

Energy drinks always make me laugh because they don’t really work for me. Certainly things like Gatorade and Powerade help restore electrolyte balance, which is great after a strenuous, sweaty workout.

But for the most part, energy drinks just make me want to pee a lot.

I haven’t actually tried the product in these recent ads. I doubt I will, as I have better things to drink (like beer).

If I really want to know how good it is, though, I’ll just ask my cats.

I have a feeling that there are eyebrows being raised at the previous line.

One of the ingredients displayed across the top of the can (proudly, I would assume) is Taurine.

The discovery and isolation of this “amino acid” is documented here, and although the source for energy drinks is not the typical one, it may still make you think about what you’re drinking.

Taurine is an important ingredient in cat food, as it prevents central retinal degredation.

The value of Taurine in energy drinks as an “energy giver” is in question. Studies have shown, though, that it may have a hand in reducing muscle fatigue.

Either way, though, I will probably not bother with it, as my eyes are decidedly not feline.

This Article Has Been Deemed 100% Awesome by Me

Another advertisement-related blurb.

Are people really so gullible as to believe that a product endorsed by it’s own manufacturer is actually better than one that is not?

Certainly all maunfacturers endorse their products. Why wouldn’t they?

But you have to laugh when you see things like Product X proudly bears the Product X seal of approval, or Product Y has been proclaimed excellent by the makers of Product Y.

We should all walk around talking about how awesome we are and see how long it takes for someone to smack us in the mouth for being idiots.


Scrabulous Tips


I’m competitive in a weird way.

I’m not really afraid to lose, but at the same time, I don’t really like it. Who does?

When I lose at something, it’s more about improving my general skills than beating a specific person (except when it comes to the Spiderman: City Raid game that Dave, Beth and I are addicted to).

One of my favourite games is Scrabble. I wrote an article recently about how much I love playing Scrabble on Facebook. I’ve completed about 87 games and won 67 of them.

I suspect that a lot of my opponents think I am some kind of Scrabble Wizard, which is really not the case.

Considering that most of these people are my friends, I would like to offer up some of the cheap tricks that I use to usually score big points.

To Be or Not to Be

I have made a lot of Bingos. A Bingo (in Scrabble) occurs when you use all seven of your tiles at once, as a new word, or part of an existing word. On top of the normal score for the word, one gets a 50 point bonus for using all of their tiles.

A really good trick to spelling large words is to use an underrated prefix. The BE combo, as I like to call it. Here are some examples of random tile draws and what you can make out of them using this strategy…

  • LDEOCUB – You could spell the word CLOUD, but it would be better to spell the word BECLOUD
  • MEBASCL – You could spell the word CALMS, but it would be better to spell the word BECALMS
  • CEKSBED – You could spell the word DECKS, but it would be better to spell the word BEDECKS
  • GMOOLBE – You could spell the word GLOOM, but it would be better to spell the word BEGLOOM

See? A great cheap trick that nets you an extra 50. That could mean the difference between losing and winning. Or the difference between winning and kicking major ass.