The Real 2009 24-Hour Movie Marathon or MMFive

Posted on November 7, 2009 by Jorge

The Real Deal

Well, Dave & Sarah had their little guy, and since he’s a well-adjusted little dude, we’re proceeding with the 2009 Movie Marathon. Even though we already pre-emptively did it, we don’t care. We are rule-breakers.

The event shall be covered by as many nerdy tools as possible (talk about double-meanings).

Sections have been pre-written so that my fingers don’t fall off from trying to keep up with everything. As usual, please be aware that this entry will contain spoilers. Also, due to the content of some of the movies we watch, some of the subsequent videos and words in the following entry may not be suitable for some. Consider yourself warned…


Our list of movies.
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10:00 – Pumping Iron

What could be more engaging than a bunch of bodybuilders preening in front of the camera. Probably everything. However, in modern day everyone is obsessed with reality shows. Frankly, it probably doesn’t get more real than this.

Dave: Wow. Mr. Olympia?
Chris: That means he’s actually bigger than the whole universe.

Arnold is talking about how lifting weights is like cumming. It’s very disturbing. Another interesting thing about this movie is that the bodybuilders all sound like they’re having sex whether they are lifting weights or flexing…

Dave: Remind me to make a sound-based video game called Porn or Pumping Iron?

10:45 – Our first reference to “lamentation of their women”. Thanks, Chris!

Rebecca wonders if Arnold watches this movie and feels ashamed now. We pretty much figured that he’s probably exactly the same.

Jorge: Man. He’s so horrible. He probably runs California the same way.
Rebecca: When I run California it’s like I’m cumming all the time.
Chris: That’s the commercial advertising California tourism. Arnold says “California. When are you cumming?”.

The Verdict

This movie shows that anyone in any profession can be a prick. Arnold comes across as being a supreme prick, which is not really a surprise. As ridiculous as the premise of the movie may seem, it’s actually really watchable. I guess the overall message of the movie is that as long as you practice what you do and be an asshole to everyone, you can achieve your dreams.


Arnold is posing with his…er…women.
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Arnold screwing around with the cuhmpetition.

11:40 – Last Night

This movie is about the end of the world. It stars every famous Canadian actor. So three people.

So far this movie is making me feel very awkward. The premise is interesting. What would you do with your last day on the planet? I have no idea what I would do.

The movie is sort of stilted. The dialogue is great. I suppose it’s like real life, which is probably the point. It’s definitely a Canadian movie.

There’s a point in this film one of the characters (Sandra Oh) needs a ride home and the guy (Don McKellar) she’s walking with tries to flag down a car. It’s full of guys that look like they want to rape her.

Rebecca: That’s the bad touch car.
Chris: I dunno. It’s the end of the world. It might be the good touch car.
Dave: I think it’s the only touch car.

One of the characters is basically going through his list of women that he’s wanted to sleep with. I guess as a movie it’s doing its job. Everyone in the room is discussing what they would do on the last day of humanity. Apparently Dave would get as much of the Clap as he could.

I’m really enjoying this movie. Everything that Sandra Oh is in is good. Well…movies, anyway.

The Verdict

This movie is great. I really enjoyed all of the twists. I would recommend this movie to anyone. It’s certainly not the happiest movie, but then, that’s probably not the point. It’s sad that the behaviour of most of the people in the movie is probably the way that most people would actually be in real life.


The list.
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Dave and Jorge had agreed to do away with each other. But then…

13:55 – Sunset Boulevard

This is a murder story that takes place in Hollywood. It looks like an interesting caper. William Holden plays a down-on-his-luck screenwriter looking for a score. He ends up partnering up with Gloria Swanson who is a has-been who dreams of a triumphant return to the movies. She’s got some strange fantasies and drags William’s character along with her.

Man they made some great movies in the olden days.

Holy crap. I just figured out why this movie is called Sunset Blvd. Right now Norma Desmond is going uber dramatic.

I think that Norma Desmond should have been in the X-Men. Her eyes open impossibly wide, rendering everyone afraid!

The Verdict

Another great movie in the lineup. Wow. Very powerful. I’m glad this one was playing today. We need to watch an old movie every year.


The Norma Desmond an Club.
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I’m ready for my closeup…

16:00 – Kung Fu Hustle

This is a movie about bad guys messing with the wrong people. You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. And a small slum is the reason why.

I flip flop on my opinion of this movie. It’s so over-the-top, but at the same time it appeals to my childhood sensibilities. I love me some fantastical kung-fu action!

One of the best characters in this movie is the landlady. She has the same crazy eyes as Gloria Swanson from the last movie…

Jorge: That lady is a black belt in Gloria Swanson.
Mark: Seventh Dan in Gloria Swanson

This movie is weird. But it’s fun.

The Verdict

This movie is either cerebral or it isn’t. If you try to find meaning you might go insane. There is no rhyme or reason to it. Coming up with a pose is going to be interesting.


The inhabitants of Black Ham Alley defend their cutest kid.
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POV fight with ThunderCat of the Five Toe School of Iron Finger Eye Poking.

17:50 – Lars and the Real Girl

This movie is about a guy who uses unconventional methods to find his dream girl. Er….yeah…

Right now Lars and his “girlfriend” are sitting down to dinner with his brother and his brother’s wife. Chris points out an interesting development…

This movie is another surprising one. Like Last Night, the pacing is pretty interesting. Slow, and yet it does move somehow. This movie is possibly more about Lars’ family and friends than himself.

Chris: I think his brother has clued in that Lars is only doing this to get a second helping of food…

One of the things about this movie that strikes me as being completely unrealistic is that everyone is so supportive of Lars. I find it hard to believe that people would be so supportive.

The pizza has arrived and Dave has asked us to help ourselves. There are a number of jokes about some of us just eating more than our fair share…

Jorge: I’ll take box number two and three.
Chris: I’ll take box number two and y’all can split box number three.
Dave: Funny.
Rebecca: No. Box number three is the real girl.

Now Lars’ girlfriend is dying. I think it’s really all a big scam. I suspect that Lars is actually playing everyone in town and will get a big payout as the townsfolk donate to the cause that he invents for Bianca.

The Verdict

Another great movie. Ryan Gosling did a great job. So far I think that the marathon is 5 for 5 already. That’s awesome!


Touch my monkey.
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Lars doesn’t get exactly what he ordered.

20:16 – Bad Lieutenant

This movie is about…three guesses…yes. A bad lieutenant. It’s pretty awesome so far. Within minutes you get the idea that the Harvey Keitel is not a very nice person. He drops the f-bomb with his kids in the car – to his kids – and then buys some crack, places illegal bets and snorts coke…

Dave: Holy shit. I think this movie should be called “busy lieutenant”.
Shelley: I think it’s more like “good-with-his-time” lieutenant.

Wow. Harvey just pulled over 2 girls who were driving without licenses and have just come from a night club where they smoked dope. He basically asks them to show him some ass and pretend to suck him off so that he can masturbate…

Jorge: I guess that makes him a beat cop, eh?

The back of the case implies that Harvey’s character is seeking redemption. If he is, he has a funny way of going about it. He’s pretty much had nothing but every bad substance known to man pumped into his body.

The Verdict

Well. This was the first crappy movie of the night (for me). It looks like Harvey just wanted to do a movie where he could be a prick and get away with it.


Dave figures that the best way to redemption is to be so bad that he wraps around to good again.
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We find out what makes a bad lieutenant.

22:05 – Bon Cop Bad Cop

This movie is a mystery and an amusing look at relations between English and French Canada.

Some comments have been made about how the French cop is really bowlegged…

Rebecca: It is because he has to accommodate his extra large French Canadian balls. Le grand sack.

There are definitely some silly parts in this. Sarah and Chris were saying that the NHL wouldn’t grant permission for the movie to use any material, so they created many derogatory names for a lot of the folks from the NHL (which they renamed).

So far I think this is my favourite movie of the night. We shall see. It’s got a good mix of action and humour.

The Verdict

Definitely one of the best movies I’ve seen at one of the 24H events. Hard to believe that this is a Canadian film, as it doesn’t really look like the typical Canadian flick. I am totally going to buy this movie at some point. I will definitely watch this again. And I will possibly learn to speak French


These cops have their differences, but they sure cut the mustard.
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Aren’t you glad that I didn’t use the “cut the” joke with this movie?

00:16 – Near Dark

This is a movie about vampires. I’m too tired to remember what I read when I was voting for these things.

The actor that plays senator Nathan Petrelli from Heroes, who has just been bitten by some crazy woman. Now he’s been hauled into a vampire Winnebago. Interesting…

Right now Nathan (I’m calling him Nathan) is coming to terms with his Vampire-ness. Lots of really weird stuff going on in this movie. There’s a guy here with eyebrows that are crazy. They are crazy huge.

Chris: He’s growing them out for Browvember

So far there is typical vampire lore going on here. Sunlight burns the crap out of them. They don’t have the typical vampire teeth, though. Shelley thinks that one of the vampires should be badass by sticking a hand out into the sun and lighting a cigarette off of their flaming arm.

Also, the accents are awesome.

The Verdict

Not the greatest movie ever, but not too bad. Just a very atypical vampire movie. I think there are mixed opinions about this movie, but that’s all right.


The vampires are trying to protect their game from the sun.
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Vampire round table…

02:05 – Batoru Rowaiaru (Battle Royale)

This movie can be summed up by Dave’s warning to Shelley…

Dave: You might not like this movie because you have feelings…

Battle Royale is about a place where a group of students fight to the death. It should be interesting. I suspect that if anyone in the government watched this there would be bad ideas implemented. Oh wait…

The movie is very dark, but oddly enough, there are some light moments. As there is only one survivor, you get to see how the kids all interact with each ohter. Some try to run away, while others accept their roles.

Shelley loves the fact that these kids are all killing each other but are still petty, concerned about crushes on boyfriends and so on. Also notable, Shelley’s word for “tazer” is “zap-a-roo”.

The pacing of the movie is really great at this point. It’s tough to pick who is evil and who is not.

The colours in this movie are really strange. It’s like they removed pure black from the film, so everything looks really fake at times. The music is also strange. It’s like they took random pieces of music and layered it on top of the video, rather than a score that someone composed for the movie itself.

Some of our names for the people: The Bomb Makin’ Dudes, Little Miss Joggeroo, Emo guy, Hominahomina, Johnny Depp, Crazy Bitch, Wakawaka, Spike Spiegl, Nokia.

The Verdict

The movie was kinda cool but ultimately weird in the end. There was something about immortality granted by cell phones and a hand-held jizz cannon.


There can be only one.
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Everyone is assigned their weapons for the final battle.

04:14 Outpost

A group of mercenaries has been sent out to retrieve some sort of Nazi treasure. However, something is preventing them from getting it and they don’t know what it is.

I’m thinking that these may not actually be zombies but German super-soldiers. Sort of like Captain America but evil.

Looks like these mercenaries have their work cut out for them. Seems the Germans perfected their super-soldier formula and the “good guys” are screwed.

The Verdict

A pretty cool thriller. Not so scary, I think. But defintely suspenseful. A great story without a happy ending, which isn’t necessarily bad for a film.


Being a Nazi super-soldier is simply Thrilling.
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Watch out!

05:59 Moon

A movie with Sam Rockwell as a guy on the Moon harvesting energy to be used on the planet. His only companion is a robot named Gertie.

With only two weeks to go, Sam starts to have problems with reality. These problems are actually somewhat dangerous for his physical well being.

Sam gets into an accident and the complex enacts a backup for him. We discovered that Sam has at least one more clone. His clone rescues him from one of the communication stations and they both get into a discussion about what’s really going on.

Slowly the mystery is taking shape and it doesn’t look like it’s working out for either Sam. Perhaps they are both clones?

The Verdict

A great movie. Sam Rockwell does an awesome job, as always. It was tough to figure out what the ending was going to be, but the ending was perfect.


Sam gets Gertie to help him out.
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Gertie wakes a new clone at Sam’s request.

08:12 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Jim Carrey plays Joel, a guy that falls for a woman named Clementine. She has her memory erased after a nasty fight, and he decides to do the same thing. As its happening he tries to rebel.

Joel is going through a lot right now. His memories are being erased and his mind is going through a craaaazy time as each memory he has is plucked from his brain.

Clementine is a very impulsive person while Joel is the opposite. They are the typical movie couple that doesn’t get along. But they do. Joel is rebelling because one of the memory technicians is stealing his memories, and really, Joel does not want to let go.

Joel tries to protect his memories of Clementine by taking her to the darkest recesses of his mind. He drags her to some pretty embarrassing moments, but it seems to work.

The Verdict

This was a pretty cool movie. Jim Carrey isn’t always my cup of tea these days. I like movies that play with your mind, and this one certainly does.


Dave and Rebecca are partying it up while they erase Jorge’s memory.
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Dave expresses his feelings to his new love…

We Made It!

For the record, Dave and I made the full 24 hours. Rebecca, Shelley and Chris were not quite there, but didn’t do too badly.

For me, all but one of the movies was great! I think – moviewise – this was the best year for me.


Another year, another sleep-deprived night of hilarity.
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Thanks and Links

Big thank yous go out to Dave and Sarah for hosting. It’s always nice to go somewhere that feels like an extension of home. Also, Sarah remembered that last year I did not get to have any of her awesome guacamole, so she made a double batch. Believe me, I believe I ate enough to make up for last year.

Here are the bloopers from this year.

Here are some links to some of the others who participated in MMFive…

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