All the Best
Can you say busy?
My grand blogging plans seem to have all evaporated in the face of a combination of valid reasons as well as procrastination.
So, I’ll just sign off for 2008 by saying thanks for all the memories, and looking forward to an awesome 2009!
Yeah. Cheers all!
Filed under: Announcements, Special Events | Tagged: New Year | 3 Comments »
Pobody’s Nerfect
As with the other Movie Marathons, this year’s offered a number of funny out-takes. I will detail some of them here for your enjoyment.
Please be aware that this entry will contain spoilers. Also, due to the content of some of the movies we watch, some of the subsequent videos and words in the following entry may not be suitable for some. You have been warned…
The Movie: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
The Scene: Butch and Sundance are on a cliff and have run out of options.
Why It Was Cut: This wasn’t really a blooper. Other than Claire crying in the background and Isha turning around while she was snacking, this clip wasn’t bad. The only problem with it was the disjointed ending, as well as the fact that we stopped filming just before Joe said hold me.
Cut due to better line prospect.
The Movie: The Iron Giant
The Scene: Doesn’t exist in the movie. We created a scene where some scientists create a new version.
Why It Was Cut: We filmed the scene but it turns out that the camera wasn’t running until the end. Dave did this last year during our “Raising Arizona” spot, where he didn’t press the button hard enough and ended up recording the parts in between the actual ones (start was stop and stop was start, if you know what I mean). We call this “Davin’ it up”.
Cut due to being cut already.
The Movie: Glengarry Glen Ross
The Scene: Doesn’t really exist in the movie, at least not exactly like this.
Why It Was Cut: This scene was cut because Dave cracked up way too early and the whole scene could have been done better. We ended up doing a re-take in which Dave doesn’t crack up until the end. Disturbingly, in both clips, Dave latches onto the Pacino line about my balls.
Cut due to not enough swearing.
The Movie: Hard Core Logo
The Scene: Doesn’t really exist in the movie, at least not exactly like this.
Why It Was Cut: Joe and I didn’t even realize that this was being filmed, so this is just random banter. The second take was way better anyway.
Cut due to not knowing this was being filmed.
The Movie: Dolemite
The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview.
Why It Was Cut: In the original movie you could see a boom mic hanging down in quite a number of scenes. We wanted to replicate this, but every time Dave looked at the mic he’d lose his shit.
Cut due to Dave losing his shit.
The Movie: Dolemite
The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview.
Why It Was Cut: Dave cracks up due to the name I made up for the organization who is interviewing him: Neil Bobs Spitz and Swallows.
Cut due to Dave losing his shit, again.
The Movie: Dolemite
The Scene: Entirely made up. We wondered what it would be like if Dolemite went for a job interview.
Why It Was Cut: One of the ideas we had was to have the boom mic tap Dave on the head. Here we see what happens when an unstoppable force meets a very movable object.
Cut due to Dave almost dying.
The Movie: Audition
The Scene: Somewhat made up. Isha plays the evil woman who does bad things. She’s going to go to town on the poor man in the sack, beating him with a big plastic thing.
Why It Was Cut: Dave indicated that he would cover his head for the first hit and then flip over so Isha could hit him harder. Isha misinterpreted the instructions and started waiting for Dave to turn over with his butt in the air. I couldn’t keep it together.
Cut due to camera operator FAIL.
Filed under: Friends, Humour, Special Events | Tagged: 24 Hour Movie Marathon, Audition, Bloopers, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Death Race 2000, Delirious, Dolemite, Eddie Murphy, FAIL, Glengarry Glen Ross, Hard Core Logo, Lifeboat, Movies, Sore Asses, The Iron Giant, The Mist, The Oh In Ohio, Tremors | 1 Comment »
Pre-Emptive Strike?
Since Dave & Sarah are having a baby early next year, the 2009 Movie Marathon has been moved to 2008.
As usual, we will be covering the event using all the tools in the nerd kingdom, so sit back and enjoy.
I have all of the movies titled already in preparation for the day. Stay tuned! Also, please be aware that this entry will contain spoilers. Also, due to the content of some of the movies we watch, some of the subsequent videos and words in the following entry may not be suitable for some. You have been warned…
Our list of movies.
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10:20 – Death Race 2000
Here we have a disturbing view of the future. You know. The future being the year 2000.
The movie is total cheese, but it is pretty awesome so far. How can you not love a movie with Sly Stallone and David Carradine? Even Martin Kove is in it. This movie is all kinds of awesome.
Chris: How come the real year 2000 wasn’t as cool as this?
It’s a strange dystopian vision of the future, that’s for sure. America is not the most friendly place in the world, according to this movie. As to be expected, the special effects are nothing compared to today’s movies. However, given the times it’s relatively gory. This movie must have been pretty shocking back in the day.
You’ve got to wonder how starved for entertainment folks in the past were with such horrible dialogue and wooden delivery.
[Currently Sly is chasing after some poor guy that just called his character Frankenstein. It’s pretty funny.]
Mark: They need to play the music from Benny Hill for this chase.
There is a group in the movie called The Resistance that is trying to sabotage the Death Race. Most of their ambush projects look like they were made by kindergarten art classes.
The Verdict
It’s a horrible, horrible movie. But it was pretty hilarious. So bad that it’s hilarious. It’s watchable, but probably not over and over again.
Dave and Isha take it where the sun don’t shine courtesy of Fireplace Tool Joe.
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Davekenstein takes down an innocent for 80 points.
11:47 – Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
It’s been a while since I’ve seen this movie. At least ten years. I saw this film when I was in university, I think. Actually, now that I think about it, I think I also saw this movie when I was a kid.
I’ve always love how this movie starts out. Going from a sepia tone to colour. In fact, I haven’t watched the digitally remastered version and I have to say that they did a really good job.
Butch and Sundance have just finished off a job and are celebrating in a brothel. Isha got really excited…
Isha: I KNEW there’s be old-time whores in this movie!
Jorge: Versus what, new-time future whores?
This movie is amazing. What’s strange, though, is that you could never apply the same formula to a modern movie. Maybe that’s what makes this a classic.
A lot of jokes were made about this being the precursor to Brokeback Mountain due to the closeness of Butch and Sundance. Cathy came up with a pretty hilarious line…
Cathy: Could you imagine if these two actually made a porn together? That would be the best selling porn ever!
Crap, we just had a blown fuse for the first time in our run!
After a few minutes we’re back on schedule.
The Verdict
This movie is awesome. It has one of the best endings of all times. This movie is definitely one that you could watch a few times. I mean, any movie with Cloris Leachman as an old hooker is a winner in my books!
Dave Cassidy and the Sundance Jorge make their final stand.
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Joe Cassidy and the Sundance Chris get ready to escape the posse.
14:17 – Lifeboat
Our first true black and white movie and the oldest of the bunch. Constance Porter is currently smoking cigarettes and then throwing them into the ocean. She also seems to be resistant to all forms of dirt.
During one of the scenes, after picking up a bunch more people, Constance is using her typewriter…
Isha: Is she using her typewriter?
Rebecca: She’s blogging. Old-time blogging.
Wow. For an old movie the special effects are pretty good. The issues that are dealt with are pretty serious as well. Lots of moral quandries.
The Verdict
The movie was really compelling. There were a lot of really great moments. The struggle of humanity away from humanity. I would highly recommend this movie to anyone.
Rebecca comforts Chris. How long will it take to be rescued?
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Jorge checks attendance. But what is he missing?
16:25 – The Iron Giant
This is one of the best animated movies of all time. I’ve seen it a number of times, and Mrs. J actually didn’t mind this movie so much.
She has high standards.
The Iron Giant is the story of an alien robot that crashes on Earth and befriends a little guy named Hogarth. It’s a story about outcasts and understanding. The animation is really great, and the voice work is great.
We tried to figure out the different actors that participated…
Jorge: Is that robot Brad Garrett?
Sarah & Rebecca: Vin Diesel.
Jorge: Really?
Sarah: Yeah.
Jorge: Wow. Cool. They even have the same hair.
The Verdict
If you ever want a good family movie that’s not too “kiddy”, this is your movie. Not only are there powerful lessons, it can be awesomely upbeat and ends in a way that’s powerful and moving. I know that when Baby J is old enough, she will be watching this movie with us.
The Iron Giant has the whole world in his hand. Or just Dave.
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The scientists create a new Iron Giant. Unfortunately it’s not as cool as the first one.
18:07 – Glengarry Glen Ross
This movie doesn’t sound like the most exciting prospect. The machinations behind the real estate business? Oooooooh!
However, with such a stellar cast, it will most likely be an amazing film. So far, Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris, Al Pacino, Kevin Spacey? Holy smackerel!
Some of the lines in this movie are hilarious, for instance…
You ever take a dump made you feel like you’d just slept for twelve hours?
Gold. Solid gold.
Man, I watch these guys work, and they are slicker than oiled eels. It really gets you wondering about how low some people can go.
The Verdict
It’s a depressing movie. It doesn’t end well at all. Even though it did. You have to watch it to know what I’m talking about. I wish that we counted how many times they used the word fuck in this movie. I can safely say that the number of times they said fuck is much higher than the number of people that died in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.
A professional Real Estate meeting.
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Some of the boys in Real Estate, discussing things politely.
20:20 – Hard Core Logo
This is an interesting mocumentary about a punk band on a last-ditch tour of Western Canada. Mockumentaries are pretty cool, so I’m looking forward to it.
It’s well done. It’s raw and honest (if you can call a work of fiction honest). The characters take you through a series of emotions. Sometimes you hate them, sometimes you love them. It’s like watching a car ride?
The Verdict
Not too bad as far as movies go. I don’t know if I would bother seeing it again, but I am glad that I did. The music was pretty good and the acting was pretty awesome. The ending was…interesting.
Meet Softcore Diagram.
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United we stand, divided we entertain the hell out of everyone.
22:10 – The Oh in Ohio
This movie is all about the Big O. If you don’t know what that is, I’ll take a sec and wait for you while you Google it.
Back? Good.
This movie is about disfunctional relationships and the healing thereof. There are some pretty hilarious moments in a film dealing with an awkward topic.
Jack: Are you eighteen?
Kristen: I think you mean the age of consent, which is sixteen.
Dave: Too bad you’re twelve.
Shelley: And still full of the clap
[Jack runs into Kristen’s father at the video store.]
Mr. Taylor: The world needs more teachers like you.
Dave: I mean, you’re no Danny DeVito…
Rebecca: He’s like a big teddy bear.
Dave: Yes!
Shelley: He’s like a big teddy bear inside.
Dave: YES!
Wow. This movie actually has a Danny DeVito montage! I don’t know if it’s awesome or horrible.
The Verdict
Well, this movie did not turn out the way that I thought it would. I think we were all genuinely surprised by this story. I have to say that I’m not sure if I like the message this movie conveys. Ah well. It was still a good watch. Awkward moments aplenty, but good. The lesson? No matter how hard you work at something, you will get fugged over by Danny DeVito.
What we named our eyenas.
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One of the love scenes that was cut from the movie.
23:57 Dolemite
We’ve been trying to get this movie for four years. For some reason nowhere seems to carry this. So far we’re not even ten minutes into the movie and it might be giving Glengarry Glen Ross a run for it’s money in the fuck department.
There is no way in hell this movie can possibly be taken seriously.
Isha: There’s something about the way they block their scenes that reminds me of the way we block our scenes when we do our videos.
Dave: What? Like they only had fifteen minutes?
Isha: Yeah. We’re on a schedule here!
Wow. Now we’re about twenty minutes in and we have a very realistically portrayed massage parlour scene. It’s interesting that their fight scenes are so unrealistically done compared to their massage parlour scenes.
There are a lot of scenes of absolutely nothing in this movie. It’s like they kept the camera rolling at all times. Also, the fact that the boom mic is hanging down in most of the scenes is also all kinds of awesome.
The Verdict
I feel dirty that we bought this movie. Somehow our quest seems empty. But, it was funny. Shelley pointed out that her favourite parts were when Dolemite was rapping. I would have to agree. Rudy Ray Moore’s line delivery is horrible unless he’s ‘preachin’.
Davemite.
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Davemite goes for a job interview.
02:25 – Audition
Our first horror movie of the night, this one promises to be much better than last year’s selection. There is apparently going to be a lot of gore and blood, but nothing so far and we’re twenty minutes in.
Dave: This movie needs more torture or I’m not going to make it.
The movie is moving slowly and feels like a romantic comedy more than anything else. But inside information indicates that this is all going to change soon.
The shit was just scared out of Isha, which scared the crap out of the rest of us. Dave is now awake. The movie has shifted into the realm of the creepy. The tension was built for a while and now that the first little shocker is out of the way they’re building it up again.
[One of the characters just settled down for a drink out of a bottle in his own house (which has obviously been tampered with).]
Dave: This tasted like burlap, dog and extra tongue. Damn this is good Bourbon!
Now the movie is even worse than I thought it could ever be.
[The horrible woman is now cutting of this poor guy’s feet after shoving needles in his eyes.]
Dave: What the hell could ever top this?
The Verdict
What. The. Hell.
Isha is replacing her lucky rabbit’s foot.
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When you order and receive a Dave-In-a-Sack™, you have to make sure it’s dead.
04:34 The Mist
Ah, Stephen King. It’s been a while since I’ve watched anything by him. The last book I read was the last of the Dark Tower trilogy.
This is a sort of Lord of the Flies type of movie. Everyone is stuck outside of their normal routines and trapped together. On top of it all the threat of the mist is looming outside.
This movie contains a reference to brass balls. Our second tonight.
A lot of this movie is horribly unbelievable, but at the same time it makes me feel sick. Especially how it ends.
The Verdict
Wow. This movie was awesome. But at the same time I hate how it goes. I HATE IT. I’m glad I watched it, but I feel really, really bad for the main character. Like…sick to my stomach bad.
The aftermath of Dave’s charity-based rampage.
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It’s always good to pay your debts.
07:05 Tremors
Nothing like washing away the horror from our eyes by using a comedy thriller. It’s been a while since I’ve seen this movie, but in the first few minutes some of the cheese is flooding back.
This movie is so cheesy it can’t possibly be scary to anyone older than the age of eight. Currently Kevin Bacon and his compatriots are busy pole-vaulting across the barren countryside. So ridiculous.
Ooooh! A jazz-hands death! Sweet!
I’ve dozed off a few times during this movie. It’s not that it’s not exciting. It’s just…uh…meh. It’s not really that exciting.
The Verdict
Cheese-filled cheese croissants with cheese on top. A fun romp, for most. A cult following? Not for me though.
Joe is about to get his hair styled by Graboids.
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Joe and Isha get attacked by the Graboids. Look how worried they are!
08:55 Delirious
This is a first. A stand-up comedy act. It should be interesting due to when this was filmed. Rather than being a self-contained story, this piece is specific to the 80’s, so Eddie would lay all kinds of bombs that would make people feel really uncomfortable if he did that same kind of humour today.
This movie brings back a lot of memories of listening to Dr. Dimento and the Sunday Night Funnies on CHUM FM.
This movie is all swearing and crazy opinions. It’s pretty entertaining.
The Verdict
It’s awesome to watch just because of the time period it takes place in. Things have really changed over the last few years. A lot of Eddie’s stuff is hilarious just because of his incredible delivery. The guy just oozes confidence.
We Made It!
So we made it (sort of). Dave made it all the way through. Chris and I nodded off for a few minutes during Tremors. But, like troopers, we did pretty good as a team. A big thanks to everyone for hospitality, electronics, equipment and food.
The crew at the end of the night.
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Dave’s Side of the Story
You can check out Dave’s posts…
Here is Lorna’s version.
Click here and here for Rebecca’s account.
If you would like to see the bloopers from this year’s antics you can click here.
Filed under: Friends, Interactive, Special Events | Tagged: 24 Hour Movie Marathon, Audition, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Death Race 2000, Delirious, Dolemite, Eddie Murphy, Glengarry Glen Ross, Hardcore Logo, Lifeboat, Movies, The Iron Giant, The Mist, The Oh In Ohio, Tremors | 8 Comments »
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
Being an outcast as a kid, Halloween has always been an awesome day to me. The chance to disguise myself as something else certainly had appeal, if only to keep people off my back for a day.
My problem was two-fold. On one hand, I didn’t really have a lot of money to spend on costumes. On the other, even if I did, I really enjoyed trying to make my own costumes.
Given that my monetary status was low, the resources I had access to were somewhat limited. Not to mention, I was a bit of a procrastinator. For example…
The Cop
I got the brilliant idea one year of being a cop. I had a fake badge that was pinned on a hat, and a gun. With these two things alone, I figured I would be the best cop ever…
The dorkiest cop ever.
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Looking back I wonder what the hell I was thinking. It was bad enough that I wore what was clearly an Adidas running top. Not only that, but wearing green sneakers and folded jeans was probably also not a good idea.
To top it all off, my sunglasses were so big they could have protected my face were I to go into welding.
A lot of my childhood costumes were like this. I just chalk it up to the fact that I didn’t think things through. Of course, this seemed to carry into adulthood.
The Crow was one of my staple costumes after high school. I saw the movie and thought it was an awesome concept. Not to mention I had a long black wig and the makeup and clothing were relatively easy to do…
The original Crow (left) and my version (right).
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Obviously my version was nowhere near as cool as the movie version. I lacked the cool threads (a ripped t-shirt over another shirt really removes the imposing nature of the character), and the make up was not as good as it could have been.
Score another defeat thanks to waiting for the last minute.
Indy is one of my all-time favourite movie characters, mostly because he feels like he could be a real person. One would think that this would make it easier to put together a costume that would do him justice.
This is not always so…
The original Indy (left) and my versions (middle, right).
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Out of all of the costumes I had created up to that point, Indiana Jones was the best. The first year I dressed up as Indy, though, I couldn’t find a bullwhip. I even went to a bunch of sex shops to no avail.
So that year (the middle photo), I used a shock cord and tie-wraps to approximate the whip. It didn’t really work out.
Later on, I ended up securing a nice 10′ whip to hang on my belt, which really helped.
The real problem with the costume, though, was the fact that the palette was all wrong. The saving grace, of course, was that it was universally off.
Kakashi is another character that I think is awesome. If you don’t watch Naruto, you won’t know who he is.
It’s enough to say, though, that he’s probably one of my favourite characters of all time in any media.
The challenge with this costume was that the character is animated. Translating cartoons to real-world costumes is not always the easiest thing to do. Since my friend Shaun had invited me to a costume party, I gave it my best shot. Shaun is insanely good at making costumes, so I had to meet the standards he sets…
The original Kakashi (left, middle) and my version (right).
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I think I did a pretty good job.
This time I didn’t procrastinate. I designed the costume using some official pieces of clothing, and a lot of searching around Chinatown for parts that would be a close match. For the record, I didn’t actually get the contact lens for my left eye. I just photoshopped it in. But I spent most of the night with my head protector over my left eye anyway.
Kunai are illegal in Canada, so I made the blades out of bristol board using a design courtesy of this kid. The rest of the kunai were made using various parts from Home Depot.
Special shout-outs go to Chris, who went as Maito Gai, and Kelly who went as Chiyo.
The original Kakashi (left), Gai (middle) and Chuiyo (Right).
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Here are our versions…
Our Naruto characters. Gai, Chiyo and Kakashi.
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It was a great party. And it felt great to actually make a decent costume for a change.
Filed under: Anecdotes, Experiments, Friends, Special Events | Tagged: Chiyo, Costumes, Halloween, Kakashi Hatake, Maito Gai, Naruto, Shaun Hatton | 9 Comments »
WTFW?
What the hell, weather? You’d think that we lived in Vancouver and not Toronto given how much precipitation there has been this month.
Earlier this month saw me with my snow shovel moving water out of my backyard and over the lip of the asphalt that is the top of my driveway. I cannot even hope to tell you how much I moved. Needless to say that I was doing this for an hour.
After a leak in the basement last year, I’ve been a bit paranoid about lots of earthbound skywater.
Mrs. J called me in a panic, indicating that it had been raining for an hour where she works. Considering that it wasn’t raining at all where I was, on the other side of town, I was a bit nervous so I asked my awesome neighbour to check.
The report came back: No Puddles. PHEW!
The Dark Knight Semi-Triumphant
I posted a comment across my various status updates stating that I was not as impressed with The Dark Knight as I thought I would be…
Predictably, a number of people sent me messages imploring me to like the movie better.
Um.
I never said I didn’t like the movie. I just said it didn’t live up to my expectations.
I think that Heath Ledger’s death has catapulted this movie into that fuzzy area where people need to make more out of something to justify the loss of life.
I will tell you right now, that the movie is great. And whether Heath died or not, he was perfect in this movie. Absolutely perfect.
Camping Guitar Challenge
So Dave and I were talking about how camping always reveals how little we know about music. Specifically, we’ll start up a song around the campfire and inevitably trail off after the first verse and chorus.
So this year, we’re going to learn a bunch of songs in their entirety, so that we don’t look like ignorant jackasses. Here’s my list…
BRr>
Not really the easiest songs to learn. This could be great or it could be a disaster. I’ll let you know how it turns out next week, unless my camping friends murde rme in cold blood and dance about on my grave singing Allelujah
Filed under: Friends, General Dialogue, Humour, Special Events | Tagged: Batman, Camping, Dark Knight, Friends, Guitar, Music, Rain, Singing, Weather | 4 Comments »
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