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Today is Awesome

Why?

Because four years ago today I married Mrs. J.

See here for the vows.

I’d write more today, but so much has happened in the last 24 hours that I feel entitled to some laziness.

Wanted: D

For being the best brutha from anotha mutha anyone could want.

Aliases: “Dave”, “D-Mac”, “Man-A-Tee”, “Davey”, “Innatub”, Dave




Seen here in various states of disguise. Note the nice rack.
Click to enlarge…



Description

Date of Birth: September 12, <Aught Seventy Five Plus Nineteen Hundred>
Place of Birth: <Some Party Somewhere>
Height: Tall Enough
Weight: Yes
Complexion: Pale as freshly fallen snow
Hair: Brownish, like freshly fallen…er…
Eyes: Blue
Sex: Male
Build: Lego
Race: Former Bay St Rat




After what became known as the Skewer
Incident
, things would never be the same.
Click to enlarge…


Occupation(s): 46-Year-Old Researcher
Nationality: Canadian
Remarks: D has ties to Georgetown, Windsor Toronto and Newfoundland. He started his blog at the end of 2004 and has kept everyone in stitches since. It’s all part of his devious plan to render everyone helpless so that he might make off with their Jägermeister and cookies. With a penchant for what the French call le fun-nay, he wins the hearts of people everywhere, before making off with their goodies.




Ladies man. Man’s man.
Click to enlarge…



Caution

Dave is wanted for having far too much wit for one person, as well as kick-ass parties at his parents house when we were younger. He is notorious for upholding the proper definition of the word irony (sometimes violently) and has been known to edit excellent online literary magazines. His sense of adventure and his try anything once attitude make him a risk to national security. He is resourceful, sometimes disguising himself in strange roles in plays and as the devil’s advocate in most arguments.




Seen here in his youth, honing his card trick skillz.
Click to enlarge…



Considered Armed (with superior grammar) and Extremely Dangerous (ability to carve totems that can change the course of a weekend’s beautiful weather to gales from hell).



Spreading Christmas cheer.
A little too well.
Click to enlarge…


If you have any information concerning this person, please contact Barking Space as soon as possible.




Dave and his
come hither lips™.
Click to enlarge…



Reward

Barking Space is offering a reward of up to 5 haiku poems for information leading directly to the capture of D.




Even in his former days, he
cut a fine figure.
Click to enlarge…



Happy Birthday, my friend.

Birthday Wishes

Birthday, You Say?

That’s right.

Today is my Mom’s birthday. Share some lovin’ in the comments section if you wish…



Me. Chillin’ with Mom. This
particular trick is much harder
to do now that I weigh 225 lbs.
Click to enlarge…




Happy Birthday Mom!


Love, J

The Passing of My Excellent Euchre Partner

Who?

Her name was Myrtle.

When Mrs. J and I started getting more serious (before she was Mrs. J, and was simply Miss T), we started doing the required rounds, visiting the relatives. This, of course, included grandparents. As I had lost my grandparents already, it was a pleasure to meet some new ones.

I was happily welcomed with open arms by each and every one of them. Myrtle was no exception.

Right from the get go she made me feel like a member of the family. Abiding by my silly ways and youthful impertinence with nods and smiles, giving me cookies and great chats.

In her demeanour and dress she was very traditional. Very prim and proper. She would always be done up when we would visit, things always in their place. Her clothing and surroundings were always constant. A comfort in an ever-changing world.

For all of the formality, though, there was also mischeviousness and fun.



Es Tu?

She was outspoken. She was quick. A razor-sharp wit hidden beneath the pleasant, wrinkled exterior of a sweet old lady. Commentary on current events (sometimes in the room) could easily be missed if you weren’t paying attention.

It was one of my guilty pleasures to watch Grandma in action, revelling in the subtleties of her honest sense of humour.

As wonderfully funny as she could be, she could also make the sun shine like a beacon through the gloom of your bad days in ways that only a grandmother could.



The Best Way to a Man’s Heart…

Who could forget the warm, comforting feeling of biting into one of Grandma’s home-made butter tarts with raspberry filling. Arguably the greatest butter tart of them all.

She would always have a batch baked for us when we visited.

Sometimes the path to getting some was convuloted, as she would make us work for it by teasing us with the promise of their sweet goodness and then sighing and saying that maybe we didn’t really need them for some reason or another.



Pick It Up. I’m Going Alone

What goes better with home-made butter tarts than a rousing game of euchre?

When we visited them at the unit in which they lived, we would see a euchre standings chart in the lobby by the elevators. Grandma’s name was always near the top of the list (usually following Duncan, her husband and euchre partner).

Mrs. J would be Grandpa’s partner, and Grandma and I would usually deliver unholy punishment unto them.

Grandma was a top-notch card-player. She’d spend most of her time disguising her strategies by taking pot-shots at her opponents, intimidating them by tapping the cards on the table and telling them to hurry up.



Twilight

Unfortunately, like all good things, Grandma was starting to fade, physically.

While her wit was still sharp and her outlook stoic, she began to show signs of deterioration.

She stopped baking tarts. Her card shuffles were starting to get a bit slower and clumsier. She was tired all the time.

But even with all that, she always managed a smile and a hug. She was always ready to show you her love in her own, quiet way.



My Favourite Memories

I like to remember people by the good they did. Everyone, good and bad, touches your life in a way that leaves positive impressions somewhere, if you care to look. Here are some of my favourite memories…

  • How she would be Grandpa’s navigator in the car. When we’d reach a stop sign, he’d look left, and she’d look right. When it was safe to go (usually) they would proceed. They drove as a single unit.
  • The smile on her face when Mrs. J tried her hand at knitting a sweater. Grandma was so proud that someone had taken up the challenge of what is still a mystery to me.
  • Heard from Grandma during more than one game of euchre: It doesn’t matter what card you throw down, because it’s not going to do you any good…
  • Before Mrs. J and I got married, I wasn’t sure what to call Grandma. She was introduced as Myrtle, but for all intents and purposes she was like a grandma to me. At our wedding, I looked at her and said, I suppose that I can finally call you grandma now, to which she replied, That would be just fine, dear. Just fine.
  • During a birthday picnic in her honour (held on some land that they owned), she took us into the shed and secretly gave us a heaping helping of butter tarts that she had baked. Our very own horde that probably would not have survived the journey home if we weren’t so full from birthday foodstuffs.
  • The time she looked me right in the eye and told me she loved me. That she loved both of us very much.



Grandma, you will be missed. You will always be in our hearts.


Love,
Me


PS: Don’t think you’re out of the woods, as I’ll be counting on you for help when next I need a winning lone hand.

Have a Good ‘Un

As if interior camping was not enough, Mrs. J and I are going on another, more leisurely camping trip.

Again, it will be to Algonquin Park, but it will be much more relaxed. Some nice dinners at various places (including a wicked-cool resort) have been planned, as well as some nice hikes.

A special shout out to my Nemesis for looking after the furry kids while we’re on our trip.

See you all soon!