Make a Wish!

A Simple Message

I went to wake up little J this morning and received the following directive (verbatim):

“Mrrrmmmrhrmm! Birthday girl is tired! Birthday girl must sleep!”



Heh. A chip off the ol’ blocks.

Happy Birthday, Squiggly Squiggles McGee!

Hold Your Applause

Armed and Dangerous

Sometimes I wonder if I’m going to be spending the afterlife in a very warm place.

Observe: a friend tweeted this…

I replied with this…

Anyone have an extra portable air conditioner they don’t need?

On Top of the Job

Roof - Before
The state of our roof before we had it fixed.
Click to Enlarge…

“A new roof is one of those home improvements that is painful because the results aren’t really obvious to you. ” These words were spoken by a friend of mine when I was talking to her about the sorry state of my roof (and how I was looking to have it repaired or replaced) . I didn’t really understand exactly what she meant until I started getting quotes to have my roof redone.

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Heartbreaking

Today My Daughter Broke My Heart…

Little J acted out because she’s desperately trying to walk the tightrope of acceptance. It’s obvious that she acted in a way that she probably thought would earn her some cred with the “alpha” kids. While not explicitly saying it that way, she did explain her behaviour to me and that is how I understood it.

It reminds me of my own childhood: fighting the fight within where you either stay true to yourself or sell out and feel that elusive sense of belonging.

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The Funnier Way

Excuse Me, Sir. Your Daughter Just Said…

My daughter had a sleepover at Nana’s recently. It’s a great arrangement because Nana doesn’t live too far from where I work, so it’s just a matter of her dropping off little J to my office. Win-win, really; Nana gets to spend time with the wee one and I get a traveling partner for my commute.

On the subway, every station is announced several times beforehand (something to do with being sued when people miss their stops or something). More often than not, the on-board speakers are on the fritz and it’s hard to determine what they are saying. Here is a list of “translations” courtesy of my daughter.

TTC: The next stop is Christie. Christie Station.
Little J: Daddy! We’re going to Rice Krispies Station!

TTC: The next stop is Bathurst. Bathurst Station.
Little J: Daddy, are they really thirsty? They are bad thirsty? Is that what that means?

[This one is the most embarrassing one; only because it was declared very, very loudly.]

TTC: The next stop is Spadina. Spadina Station.
Little J: Daddy! That voice on the speaker just said ‘vagina’ two times!


Where’s Bill Cosby when you need him?


Juicer

Tight Squeeze

Having children is like having access to a gold mine full of awesomeness. Not only do they come up with some hilarious dialogue, but they inspire us to explore our own inner child; that is, they help us remove the grown-up filter that usually remains intact in most day-to-day situations.

What’s even better is when you have friends with children that you can share your stories with; from these conversations, awesomeness is born…

Jorge: Little J made strawberry juice by squeezing Strawberry Shortcake. “Aaahhh! Fresh!”. I am sleeping with one eye open.
Krk: Take it out on Count Chocula for chocolate milk!
J: Hahahahah! I don’t even want to know how they make Bawls soda.


The Big Picture

Cart Calls Kettle Black

I was out shopping at the local Loblaws earlier this evening. I deposited my groceries in the trunk of my car and then rode the shopping cart back to the cart deposit area. I’m not sure if any of you have ever done this, but it involves a steady grip on the bar while “skateboarding” the shopping cart and then hunching over and placing both of your feet on the supporting structure over the rear wheels.

It’s fun.

As I was doing this, I saw a guy get out of his car. He was a TTC driver that I had seen before, driving a local bus; I recall him having a good sense of humour. As I walked back from putting away my cart, he commented, “I can’t believe I just saw a grown-ass man do that.” He chuckled.

I laughed, and motioned around the parking lot (there were a whole bunch of carts lying around), “At least I put my cart away.”

He nodded. “That’s true. I’ll give you that. “

As I drove away, I saw him, skateboarding his own shopping cart towards the front doors of the supermarket. As I honked my horn and gave him the thumbs up, he pumped a fist in the air and had a shit-eating grin.

Grown-ass man indeed.




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